Friday, August 23, 2013

Getting to Know Amber- Part 2

As of this entry, I just wrote my 8th entry. I wasn't making quite enough progress in the storyline where I had a lot of findings, so I postponed this entry. Plus, there's the fact I did 2 entries in a row this time last week :-P

...I couldn't help myself, okay?
(as if I have a hugely respective fanbase TO apologize to, lol)

I've learned quite a bit about Amber over these past couple days. Have not gone a single day without writing an entry and that's the important thing. Finding the will to write every single day. I haven't been able to muster that in ages... at least outside of my blogging.

Each day, I'd fill up an entire page of notebook paper with my latest entry.
Which I'm sure is roughly 200 words a day.
I believe Stephen King recommended 2500 words a day, but I could be wrong.

I decided that because there was only so far I could take this small cast of characters, it was time to bring Scarlet into the mix.
And had a couple more "light bulb" moments.

What if... given my most recent supposition that, just maybe, only a couple girls involve themselves in prostitution (Talia, Ruby, and Amber), part of the reason why Amber dislikes Ruby has to do with what Scarlet went through while worrying about her... freaking out over the first couple days after running away that she shouldn't have left her alone with their father... and the only thanks Scarlet got for worrying was following through with what their father did to them, as if it was right for him to treat them the way he did...

and after this entry, I got to thinking my next movie should be to move over to Scarlet. Writing her story as she's telling it to Amber.

As for the previous three entries, I have the following additions:

  • Alejandro was "reckless" and used to sleep with a different girl every night
  • Amber describes them as running together. Being "tall, blonde and skinny" and refers to them as skanks in passing (ala the narrative)
  • her friends' names are Michel and Misha. They were the first waiter and bartender Alejandro hired on his hiring jag.
  • He then promotes them to assistant managers, who take over for him when he's away, finishing up his schooling (I assume he's obtaining a bachelor's degree in business management or restauranturing)
  • Although he isn't the best student, he started to wrap his mind around the fact he needs to become more responsible with the restaurant (as Casa de Montiel is at this point in time)
While Alejandro is away, Amber moves in with Michel and Misha and they start teaching her Latin dancing

As for Amber herself

  • the samba is her favorite of the dances because, to quote Anna Kendrick in "Twilight," "it makes my boobs look good"
  • Dance has allowed her to feel more secure about herself, and especially her body, which used to be a source of ridicule for her
  • her legs still need work, but her arms move more naturally than they had before
  • after this, she gains the confidence to confess everything to the two guys, including her true age and her feelings for Alejandro
  • once again, Amber proves to be a compassionate individual in times of trouble when she puts herself out there to help Scarlet when she shows up
Most likely, the restaurant will evolve into a bar and/or club. The economy is starting to get bad... for whatever reason... not just there, but all over the city where this is taking place...
During a hiatus in business, while "the brothers" (Amber's way of referring to the Montiels) are regrouping and trying to figure out how not to lose profits and to keep the business afloat... she tells Alejandro (for whatever reason, he is hanging out with her rather than going back to his womanizing ways... at least not right away)

While listening to Amber talk about what she's been working on with Michel and Misha, Alejandro thinks that the place could get more business if they had entertainment on site.
This does not come to pass right away, mainly because they can't afford it at the moment. The staff is being cut back as was the menu, which got cut in half. for now, that's about it... up next will be going into Scarlet... hopefully I'll be able to do what I have been doing with Amber, writing every day, and it'll have a different feel so I can separate the two girls

Right now, the biggest question I have to answer is this:

-How much does their father inflict on Scarlet and Ruby? Is it 50-50, or is it more in one direction than the other?

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Animé Inspiration: Sailor Moon

I'm not sure what it is about this series, why I feel so protective of it, hate to hear it be made of fun and no matter what, determined to be faithful to it...

although my faithfulness goes as far as the third season of the original series with the original animation and voice acting cast.
Before it went over to Cartoon Network, changed all that and kinda turned into a joke. Whether it was because an American company wanted to change it and make it more solid or whatever else...

But if I'm going to be legit about this, I'll discard the third season right away in saying it was my least favorite.
As if they found an excuse to keep Serena and Darien from ending up together...
supposedly he'd been having nightmares, this voice telling him to stay away from Serena or something bad will happen to her.

On top of all that, his affection for her had been "displaced" in Rini... this obvious little girl with pink hair who supposedly came from the future to enlist the help of Sailor Moon in order to save her mom, neo-Queen Serenity, from some sort of illness or something otherwise caused by the villains.
Sure, Rini is technically Serena and Darien's future daughter and all that, and her attitude is 100% Serena, so there's karma there.
I honestly don't know what I took harder, having to deal with HER or having to deal with the break-up of Serena and Darien.

As if my entire life's happiness depended on them staying together.
It's just one of those things I guess. I know people are meant to be together so I get pissed when something comes in the way of that.
Sure, I get bent out of shape about it on "All my Children," but eventually I do make peace with some couples and other "destined" couples eventually do come back together.

So forget that part of Sailor Moon.

The first season was about coming to terms of destiny. Serena finding out she was Sailor Moon and the reincarnation of Princess Serena of the Moon Kingdom. As well as her meeting up with her fellow Sailor Scout friends, character development more or less.

The second season was mainly about Serena and Darien getting back together. The only difference is that Serena knows they're destined, but conventionally, he has to spend another season with amnesia.
The first season went  a little into how he never really knew who he was, learning the extent of that, becoming Queen Beryl's slave, and losing his memory all over again after the Sailor Scouts triumphed over evil. To be fair, though, everyone lost their memories after that altercation.

Yet they all get those memories back about each other, their identities, etc. within 2 shows of the 2nd season. Why does Darien get the short end of the stick AGAIN?
Nostalgia Critic was right, that WAS a bigger tease than Jim & Pam from "The Office"... but I didn't really feel like it was a tease because I came into that show a few seasons in. So I didn't have to "suffer" through like that everyone else.

Nostalgia Critic went into how predictable and formulaic Sailor Moon was and also asked why it was so popular.
As a HUGE devotee, I really can't put my finger on it myself.
I know there are huge problems with the series, don't get me wrong. But yet, I freaking adore it.
It actually got me started with my writing. The memories of the things I loved about the show were still very strong and livid in my mind.

My favorite angle, as it seems in a lot of Japanese animation... is reincarnation. The idea of people in our time having a destiny from a previous life and coming face to face with it.
I drag that out quite a bit with Jonas... heck, it seems like everyone else (well, Nina, his horses and iguanas) know it before he does...
But regardless, I just love that.. as well as the destiny he has to find the courage to fulfill.

Sometimes I wonder if Nina should have had a place in his previous life... what happens later with her character, way later, would make a lot more sense.

The biggest critique that Sailor Moon gets is... pretty close between the recycled animation that they show every single time and the fact Serena is unreliable and unable to get herself out of trouble.
Why I find her endearing, I'm not quite sure. But I do know that I get annoyed when people undervalue her or are downright mean to her. Darien's kind of a jerk early on so it's hard to imagine them being together... at least until I found out the full extent of his character so I take that with a grain of salt because there is EVENTUALLY a pay-off.

The main perp is Raye aka Sailor Mars. Her attitude is horrible, always putting down Serena, never taking her seriously. I suppose there has to be a character like that in the Sailor Scouts, but does it have to be the one with dark hair and dark eyes like me?
I have a little more in common with Lita, but I think she has green eyes.
Mina/Sailor Venus, I don't really know all that well, but what I have seen of her, I like her a lot.
Amy/Sailor Mercury, we're both brainacs, but her IQ is off the charts, unlike mine :-P

Raye is the reason why I have the antagonist Rayven in "Jonas"... at least I gave her a little more original character than Mai, who was pretty much Mai Valentine in different surrounding and minus the Duel Monsters cards

So yeah, my love for it comes from the reincarnation angle, reliving destinies, true-destined love...
I'm a sucker for a couple that's meant to be together. I just wish there wasn't so much drama about it.

As far the so-called "fanservice" angle, the fact that all the girls are 14-15-16 and overly sexualized with the sexy Japanese schoolgirl uniforms...

I don't read into it quite as much as everyone else has. I don't care that that's there... I suppose that is there because "sex sells" as the classic saying goes.
But I take it the same way as I do with "Suckerpunch"... I swear, I thought that was going to be a hit because of how it looked... Yeah, I hate when people read into stuff so deep so to ruin it people like me trying to enjoy ourselves.

I just enjoy that kind of stuff. That's how I roll :sigh:

Friday, August 16, 2013

Getting to Know Amber- Part 1

Whatever comes first, I'll try to do one of these entries every three "journal entries" or once a week.

When I got my three composition notebooks, I'd planned on starting a short story or novella telling the back story for each of my characters (with the exception of Talia because the majority of her character arc will be the makings of "Te Busque").

I have a few questions yet to be answered about Ruby and Scarlet, so I decided it'd be easier to start with Amber.
I also have the most songs on her playlist so I have slightly more to work with, heck of a lot more than Vanessa, Ruby and Scarlet combined.

While writing today's "entry," I realized one thing:
Amber is likely the least educated of all the girls, so her language really isn't that great. She probably doesn't even know how to read or write well.
Also, initially when I started writing dialogue for her, I heard a Megan Fox type voice coming out, via her character from "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen".
But taking her background into account, she could just as easily have a ghetto/street dialect.

This is what I have so far:

  • Amber left the group home when she was14
  • I haven't figured out why the bullying happened, but I do know that the boys started being abusive when she was 10. Apparently because she "developed" earlier than the other girls...
  • In getting as far from "home" as possible, she stayed the night at various shelters, mostly for women and children. She talks about being sympathetic to them... something odd, given her temperament, but deep down, just maybe it'll come into play later on
  • She was rejected by the first few bars & restaurants she applied for because she was only 14... so she decided to fake her age, say she was 16 because some people thought she looked older than she was
  • The Montiels took to her right away and knew of a place she could stay
  • Alejandro lives down the way and "I think I'm in love with him"
From here, the possibilities are endless.

While catching up with "All my children," I think I saw the perfect candidate for Alejandro. Granted, this character was someone looking for money Colby borrowed from him, so he's not a good guy.
But all that aside, the look of him was perfect. He gave me the exact vibe I was looking for, just not the same dialogue.
What struck me about him was that he had a shaved head and somehow it brought the whole look together.

So maybe Alejandro could have come from a different place when he met Talia. He might have been the type of guy who lived the high life and really didn't apply himself or give serious thought to his future... and quote "Talia made me want to be a better man so I could be good enough to be with her"... that type of thing

But given Amber's circumstances at this point, he could help her be better. Help her learn how to read and write better than she knows how so she can be a better waitress.

Right now the biggest question on my mind: what is Casa de Montiel like? What sets it apart for Amber, aside from the fact they were the only place that would hire her?

I think she'd be on board for the changes, the possibilities of making it more exciting so they'd get more people coming in, etc, etc.
But she'll be opposed to the idea when she sees the full extent of Talia's plans, but she can't bring herself to say anything about it. She just wants to be part of the team and do what she can to set herself apart and hopefully keep a balance.
This plan is thwarted when her ideas aren't quite up to par.

I'm hoping by my next entry here that I'll have answered some of the key questions.
1) who are the two guys I see her dancing with?

2) what is the relationship between her and Alejandro like?
3) how do Vanessa and Scarlet work into all this?
come to think of it,
4) how many more entries before Scarlet shows up? I'm sure Alejandro and her will need a little time to get to know each other before I bring in anyone else.  She has to be there for at least a year and well established before Scarlet enters the mix

Thursday, August 8, 2013

3 [possibly 4] stories vying for my attention/ commentary of "Bleach" in its latest

The possible 4th contender is my female warrior Cassandra, her beloved Princess Kaname Snow and her best friend (and love interest) Ren...

And Cassie is somewhat responsible for my current predicament.

After my last entry, I beseeched one of my LinkedIn groups for help editing "Jonas" and getting back to me with feedback.
I have since gotten two people interested in reading his story.

During Saturday night's coverage of "Bleach," I saw a potential light at the end of the tunnel... we just might have seen the last of Sosuke Aizen.
But I'm on the edge of my seat as to whether it really does mean the end of Ichigo's career as a substitute soul reaper... seeing as his use of the final Getsuga Tencho involves the absolution of his powers...

If that's the case, have all these other side story arcs take place BEFORE this final battle royale?
Where squad 3 had a new captain who planned to overthrow the hierarchy of the soul society because head captain Momomoto killed his father?
Where an old Zanpakto caused the rebellion of all other Zanpakto and we got to know them as their own characters?

Cuz that would really suck...
so if all doesn't work out, maybe Ichigo will regain his powers when his life as a human comes to its eventual end and he departs to the soul society... where he will grow up and join the academy with hopes of making one of the 13 court guard squads?

And we're only up to episode 310... there's 56 left and a couple more series... will all those be before this as well?

So anyway, this potential defeat brought me back to Cassandra... adding a couple more pages to that spiral notebook... only to realize almost all the pages are filled.
And in the back, I had written down some ideas for the upheaval of my white tiger's story... furthering it even more from InuYasha...

After rereading them yesterday in broad daylight, I've started reconsidering it.

All of this on the heels of the fact I'd hit somewhat of a road block with "Te Busque"...
Vanessa is proving somewhat difficult to place as to what her character brings to the story... if anything at all.

I'd even played with the idea of her not existing at all. That's why my third composition notebook doesn't have her name on it yet. Unlike Scarlet & Ruby and Amber, who are much better defined.

My biggest issue is that I'm not entirely convinced that Vanessa could/should go the distance as a VIP, one of the truly exotic dancers... not just in the choreography but the extracurricular activity.
I can't seem to get her motivation to stick.

I have an idea that her situation was similar to a character from "Dead Poet's Society," but without the unfortunate suicide at the end.
(I think what I made me REALLY hate the ending was that they pinned it all on the teacher, who was the only person who truly believed in him and supported him in what he wanted to do).

Vanessa comes from a good family, but they wanted her to have a good career so she'd be better off than they were. But she goes against this because she has more interest in dancing than becoming a doctor.
It's a little tricky because I don't quite know how far to push her in her convictions. How much does she want Talia's mindset about the business to change?

Right now I'm hitting a mental block because I don't quite know what the problem is.

I'd have started on Scarlet and Ruby's back story, but there's one thing I haven't determined:
how often did their father take advantage of them? did Scarlet only get it a couple times or was it as often as Ruby? do I want play up a certain angle with Ruby where she craves the attention as well as the negativity that comes with it? is she as much a sex addict as Talia has trouble giving up the full extent of her business because she believes it's the only talent she possesses... that she does it to feel needed by other people?

How much dissention, if any, exists between Scarlet and Ruby?

Too many unanswered questions.

Amber would be easier to start with, but she comes with her own set of questions.
Why was she bullied at the group home?
Who are the two boys I imagine her dancing with to songs like "Just Dance" (Gaga) and "I'm Just Sayin'" (Karmin)? Were they also at the group home? Her only friends there? Or did she meet them as street performers who eventually taught her how to dance?

Although it was the bane of her existence at the group home, she craves attention and always wants to be number one in everyone's book.
I wrote it in my notebook "motivation: to become the most desired "siren" so she can take charge and ruin Talia's reputation"... among other things

Ruby's motivation is a little more concrete and it's realized through "Heavy Metal Lover"
- "dreaming up the most spectacular routine in ALL aspects of the show and prove to Scarlet she can handle anything

I have zero motivation for Scarlet because she's a pretty consistent, well-rounded character.

For Talia I have: "because her stepfather screwed their business (and hers) out of money, she feels responsible for keeping their club afloat. Most of her earnings go to them early on to pay debts to vendors, staff and such. Then they go to renovations, better stage shows and so on." and quote "If I thought to see him for the loser he was, he never would have a chance at ruining your business"...

I also made a note that he was a "better than swindler than business person"...
makes it sound like he's a Bernie Madoff type of character...
that might be a  good angle.

you know it's time like these where I wonder how many people are reading this and whether I'd be better off just keeping a diary/journal of the latest thoughts in my creative process...

the latest with Cassandra was developing her relationship with Ren and how the princess seemed to be onto it... more perceptive about it than she is...
Cassandra is a very guarded individual with an insane drive, that sometimes goes beyond her physical capacity.
And also something about Ren making a case for another try at making the royal guard because he wanted to be nearby in case she needed him...
hmm... sounds kinda like Renji wanting to become Byakuya's lieutenant because he's Rukia's brother.

All I can say now is that I hope this is the end of Aizen... cuz it was absolutely ridiculous how overpowered and invincible he was this whole time... also seems kinda ridiculous that Ichigo is somehow the only person strong enough to defeat him...
because he's the son of a soul reaper and supposedly the only person who hadn't seen the power of Aizen's hypnotic Zanpakto, which has his foes seeing what he wants them to see, distorting reality itself.

I still haven't gotten over the fact Momo again was made a "casualty" of his violence.
Ever since he betrayed the soul society and her as his lieutenant, she'd been healing and trying to face facts.
Then in the first confrontation the soul reapers have with him, he's surrounded three to one and somehow manages to put her in the middle of the crossfire in his place...

yet I've given her a lot more slack than Rukia in my judgments because it feels like every time she's in battle, Rukia is overpowered by her foes... Renji's track record is only slightly better, but only slightly...
don't get me wrong, she's a great character, but I often question how powerful she really is as a soul reaper...

Friday, August 2, 2013

Stephen King on Writing. Also: Does "Jonas" still has a future?

Over the past week, I'd been reading Stephen King's book "On Writing"... part memoir, part instruction manual... 

I figured it'd be the piece of literature I'd get through during last week's long weekend at the shorehouse. The plan was originally going there Friday and coming back Monday. Because the weather looked iffy, we decided to stay another day.
Luckily, Point Pleasant was awesome as always when we went Tuesday. The only downside was that it was a little hot for my tastes... felt like I was melting. And our lunch wasn't the best I'd had.

It's good to note that the best food we had, we all had at home and cooked on the grill. Most of it came from this small family-run food place that had the best fish we'd had in ages. Astronomically delicious red snapper.

So I took out this book the first day and read it outside at our long table on the patio with the large umbrella.
The first part was memoir, Stephen King going into his childhood and earlier parts of his life to establish how he came to be the type of writer he was. I forget the exact page, but somewhere in the section labeled "C.V.," I experienced weakness like I hadn't since my back surgery.

Apparently the dude had bad ears when he was a kid and back in the 50's, they didn't have "ear tubes"... the procedure involved... wow, I'm feeling a little weak trying to describe it... big ass needle punctured the ear drum and drained the liquid...

Afterwards, I went a section or two before I had to stop. My stomach rolled over several times. I felt like I was going to vomit, sincerely for the first time in what feels like ages. 
Eventually I decided it was best for me to get inside and lay down. 
Damn... I never felt so close to fainting before. I grabbed onto the island in our small kitchen, my vision fuzzing out like snow on an old TV, with the intent of feeling my way to the sofa. Luckily my dad was there to help me cuz I might have ended up on the floor.

Laying down instantly took care of the faintness, but it would be hours (and one short nap) before I stopped feeling sick to my stomach. 

Geesh... I "donate" four pints of blood to myself in prep for my surgery and have to spend a week with an IV strapped to my hand and it leaves me freaking about needles for the rest of my life. Not so much that I get dizzy at the small hint of blood... I need a lot there for me to feel ill about it. 
Not to mention I'm sensitive about my ears anyway... as if that keeps me from cranking up my iPod when I have trouble hearing the music... 

so... thankfully... (would underline three times if I could)... that was the most graphic part about the book and I REALLY got a lot out of the rest of it. least I felt like I did :-P I know for a fact that I will have to have a second read on of these days (in the "On Writing" section only) armed with a pad and pencil because there's plenty there to keep in mind for future productions

but in general, it'll be highly unlikely that I'll read any of his books after that...
not just my fainting spell, but because the horror genre freaks me out and I'd rather not have nightmares over it.
But I will be more likely to read the books than see the movies. "The Shining," I simply will refuse to watch.

Places where he got his ideas were also pretty interesting... how he came up with "Carrie" and the number of details in his life (past and [then] present) that came into it... sounded like genius to me.
My friend Dave loves his writing and has a lot of his books.
My dad, on the other hand, despite how much he loves movies like "The Shining", puts it as the following: "I'd rather not read 10 pages describing a room"... the man himself confessed at one point in the book that running long IS one of his greatest issues.

Let it be remembered, though, that Stephen King HATED the film's rendition of his book.

If I were to read any, I'd read "Carrie" and "Misery" because the way he described them were pretty interesting to me... all the stuff that went into it... 
"The Stand" also sounds kinda interesting... post-apocalyptic themes, talking about human nature, and all that... 

but I'd stay away from Salem's Lot, Pet Semetary, Cujo, The Shining, and a couple others for sure... because I know they'd give me nightmares. 
Not sure what it is about demonizing animals, but it just doesn't sit well with me, so anything of his that involves animals, I wouldn't touch.


That was the easy part of the discussion...

I have been less than enthusiastic about my most cherished novel...
heck, I haven't been...
I'd been a downer about it.

Things haven't been quite right since I started subscribing to Writer's Digest and what really did me in was hearing agents hating on prologues.
The dozens of rejections I'd gotten, I'm afraid are because nobody gets my work... or worse, I'm lacking in my writing in places I'm not aware.

Is Jonas is the wrong type of protagonist to propel a novel to the best seller's list?
Are my characters developed enough?
Does my storyline even make sense?

Recently, I'd considered deleting all of the files on my computer because they're nothing but confusion. I got as far as chapter four with my whole re-vamp idea and that's where I'd been road-blocked ever since.
The person I was 10 years ago and the person I am now are two different people... okay, not entirely, but the writing styles are so different.  I even cringe at some passages I'd written because it's not quite right. I know for a fact several areas are drawn out and slow and the pacing overall is uneven.

Then there are moments like today and the other week when I hear songs that bring me back to that time... 
and quite honestly, a couple of Madonna's songs made it into my story because they were among my favorites when I was in 2nd grade... I don't even know why that is, but something about that time of innocence came back to me and seeped into my writing.
If only I could remember the choreography for "Dress you up" that Nina had a daydream about when she saw the dress she wore to the dance. 

All I know, back then, a few artists resonated with me and their music fit into my work one way or another.
Nina was a gymnast before coming to this new school where she became a cheerleader. She could have taken dance lessons and, convincably, Jonas could have taken a few ballroom classes so he'd be able to keep up with her on the dance floor.
Then there was Plus One, that Christian boyband I took a chance on because I liked one song they did on a soundtrack. "In my heart" was featured in that Disney Channel movie "An Endless Ring of Light," supposedly based on a Madeline L'Engle book. Mischa Barton (before she was Marissa Cooper on "The O.C.") was visiting her grandpa in Hawaii for the summer and she found she had the ability to telepathically communicate with dolphins. The song just played during this scene where she's dancing in the campfire light with a young guy who happens to be a dolphin trainer at the water park.

I guess that could explain (in part) why I wrote Jonas as someone possessing psychic powers. Most of it, I'm sure, came from "Spirited Away" (Haku had magical qualities, including the fact he could transform into a dragon)...
sometimes I wonder if the "Voice in the Wind" idea has any logical reason for being there at all... it's not as if Jonaseriah was an air-bender or the spirit of wind or... so on and so forth... 

Wow... if I keep going, his entire story will unravel and there'll be nothing left but the fact he was a reincarnated angel who could manipulate the elements...  
So most likely, I'll end this entry with the bare essentials... details about Jonas and his universe that my story absolutely must have, things I refuse to edit out or make any drastic changes to.

Honestly, a bunch of the details in my story generated from "Spirited Away"...
Nina was Chihiro and Jonas was Haku, but part of me wrote it in homage to friendship. What would it be like if, years later, they met again? What kind of relationship would that be?
Also, Mai is Lin. Lin being Chihiro's only friend among the bath house workers, but also the person she asked about Haku's whereabouts. She happened to take on some of the characteristics (and stole the name) of "Yu-Gi-Oh" character Mai Valentine because Lin reminded me of her so much.
Megan Hollingstead really does sound a lot like Susan Egan and vice versa. Nowadays it's pretty interesting to hear Megan as Rangiku from "Bleach"... just as chesty, but their demeanors couldn't be more different.

Haku's unusual true form is the reason why Jonas became the "voice in the wind"... and there's also that line Lin has when Haku disappears for a while.
"Not Haku again... he just disappears sometimes... rumor is he's off doing Yubaba's dirty work."

Supposing I were to take that detail out of the equation, there'd only be one issue:
I copyrighted an earlier draft of my story under this name... I figured that was an important thing, but nowadays I hear that a story is yours once it's written down, so you don't need to do the copyrights.

I could get more to the point and call it "Nina and the Reincarnated Angel"
because it'd be a little more accurate.
Perhaps the time could still come where Jonas's voice will be in the wind, at a critical point in the storyline, so I wouldn't have to change my title.

What I ought to do is ask around one of the LinkedIn boards. Ask if anyone's interested in reading my story and giving me feedback on it. Just to see if I'm going in the right direction.

Technically speaking, I could let go of having my prologue in the beginning. But if anything, it could be a snippet of my mythological origin story.
Then I'd have to work on one crucial detail: how to begin?
Recently I'd considered just starting with Nina's first diary entry, spare the details of her family driving up to the new house and the events that follow. If anything, it's right out of the opening of "Spirited Away"... 

But that'd leave me with a slight problem if I take out the "voice in the wind" bit... 

I think I'm still a little shell-shocked from my previous attempt at rewriting the story, so I'm immediately starting to freak out in my attempt to cover my tracks.
Have I really done so much to it that it's unsalvagable? Will I really have to set it aside for years and years until I'm ready to give it another shot?

I should probably get a few opinions on it first before making any hasty decisions.
In the meantime, much like the key words at the back cover of "Twilight," I'll try to sum up the important parts of my story that I don't want to lose.

  1. Nina- blonde hair, hazel eyes- she's the new girl in town
  2. Jonas- dark hair, pale blue eyes- he's the mysterious guy in school that nobody knows anything about
  3. Jonas has psychic abilities, including mind-reading with the slightest touch and telekinesis, moving objects away from him when he's under great pressure
  4. Jonas has social anxiety
  5. Mai- blonde hair, blue eyes, loves purple- is the aspiring head cheerleader, editor-in-chief of the school paper, and the gossip who knows something about everyone
  6. Mai is one of the few people in school who notices Jonas and it annoys her that she can never get any "dirt" on him
  7. Jonas has three horses and two iguanas.
  8. Unbeknownest to Jonas, his animal companions are the earthly forms of the creatures that embodied the elements after the confrontation in his past life
  9. Jonaseriah- Jonas's angel incarnation- was summoned to rid the world of evil
  10. Nightariel- the essence of darkness of evil- wants to destroy the world and plunge into chaos
  11. Sooner or later, Jonas will have to realize his destiny because Nightariel's reincarnation will soon be here
  12. No matter what anyone says, Nina believes the best of Jonas and will support him no matter how strange things get or how many doubt him
  13. After a psychic panic attack in 2nd grade that cost him his best friend, Jonas is determined to keep his distance from his peers
  14. Nina is the only person Jonas has ever wholeheartedly trusted and whatever reason, Jonas feels he has no choice but to trust him... although he cannot explain it himself
okay, so much for it being the short version... then there's the sub-story line about Corey and Eric vying for Mai's heart, creating an enemy in one and an ally in another, and the school dance is the last moment of true happiness Nina and Jonas have before the final confrontation he has with his archfoe.

I can't help but think during this: I REALLY hope people won't read this and believe it has anything to do with "Twilight"... I wrote this story 10 years, long before Stephenie Meyer even dreamt the idea for her vampires.

And for anyone who made it to the end of this entry, send me a comment if you're interested in reading my story :-P 
...a little too little too late, but my offer still stands. I worked with Jonas for so long, I owe him that much. Because to give up on him would be giving up on myself... we have more in common that I'd prefer to let on.