Talia knew a big shift was on the horizon the following day when she planned to schedule a business meeting and the brothers beat her to the punch. She arrived at noon at the same boardroom they’d met with their clients and associates two weeks prior.
First on the docket for this particular meeting: the policy of trading business transactions for sexual favors was suspended indefinitely. Despite Talia’s impassioned objections, laced with obscenities in both English and Spanish, this was nonnegotiable. One small concession was granted; what she did with her personal life was her prerogative and no one else’s. She was also shocked to learn that she was the last participant left in the program she’d created over a decade ago. Vanessa stopped after a first year while Ruby’s last time had been at the beginning of the summer season. She couldn’t have cared less about Amber’s record so she didn’t ask. She could only wonder why the others hadn’t told her themselves and what other things they hadn’t told her. While it wouldn’t have changed how she conducted herself, it was unnerving being the last to know for once.
The second order of business: the pressing matter of Rodrigo. He was currently being held in an undisclosed location. With or without her visitation, he would be “handled” by the end of the week. She gave a vague response (“I will think about it”) before making her way to the door.
Finally, the younger of the two brothers asked one question. “Do you fully understand why this decision has been made?”
She scoffed, “all I know is Alejandro made this decision, not me. He never liked Rodrigo. Now he will hold the fact he was right about him over my head forever.”
He held firm. “Alejandro may not be perfect. None of us are. But he is every bit the man our sister hoped he would be. He enabled Calypso to be a success, keeping detailed records of its finances. More importantly, he cares about his coworkers very much. So when he told us this Rodrigo had harmed one of the sirens prior to the assault two weeks ago, it left us no other choice but to ensure he hurts no one again.”
“What?” Talia gasped at almost a whisper but found her voice properly after clearing her throat. “Did… did he say who?”
“No. When we asked about this, he wanted us to remind you that keeping such information private was your policy.” Talia rolled her eyes but offered no further objections. “He did however say that another siren working on her shift reported physical evidence an assault had taken place. But again she asked for privacy and it was honored.”
It took Talia less than a second to piece it all together. She left the premises with a self-loathing she’d never experienced before in her life. The whole walk to her next destination, she spent berating herself. “It’s all my fault. They were right. They were always right.”
* * *
“What do you want?” Amber leaned against her doorframe, sizing up Talia with eyes puffy with lack of sleep. She’d braced herself for a more hostile reception, but Talia didn’t know whether or not to feel relieved when she found she was getting the opposite.
“Can I come in or are you still busy assassinating my character with the others?”
“This might be hard to believe, but not every conversation is about you.” Amber waved Talia inside and shut the door. “Me and Emilia are the only ones here. Everyone else left to catch up on sleep. We kinda had a long night.”
“So everyone knows everything about you, Carmen or what name you go by now, except me?”
“Doesn’t feel very good, does it?” Emilia responded from the other side of the room. Her eyes were equally as tired and angry as Amber’s were.
“I’m still keeping one or two tidbits for myself but otherwise that’s a fair statement. ‘Amber’ has become synonymous with my theatrical style on stage so I think I’ll hold onto that. I also like to think ‘Carmen’ died the day Evangeline gave me my new name “
“Evangeline?”
“My mentor during my self-imposed exile. She’s the one who taught me about becoming a character when I perform.” She offered with an apathetic candidness. “She also encouraged me to rectify things here. Her final words before she bled out.”
Talia gasped, covering her mouth. But when she gauged Emilia’s reaction, she was astonished to find no hint of surprise in her posture.
Amber sighed, “all right, tell me why you’re really here so we can put all this behind us. Just because I’m suddenly all open and honest about myself doesn’t mean I want to be all the time.”
“Right… I just came from a meeting with the brothers and I have some news. And some questions.”
“Ah, a direct order from the top. That’s not something that happens very often.” Amber regained her trademark sarcasm, which sounded like it’d just returned from a marathon sprint. “So what have we got this time?”
“Actually, something that might concern you. If my hunch is right. They did not name any names.” She quickly added, “would you like Emilia to hear?”
“So you’re giving me a choice now? We have control of our destinies again?” Talia raised an eyebrow and Amber backed off. “I think I might have an idea what this is about. You should probably go, Emilia.”
“Are you sure?” She asked as she stood up.
“I think so. Anything I haven’t told you, let’s just say it’s a lot just for one person to handle.” Emilia agreed. She said her goodbyes and left without looking at anyone.
Once she was gone, the Amber Talia came expecting manifested. “All right, start talking!” She demanded.
“Show me the scars…”
“Unbelievable! You think Alejandro lied about this too so now you need to see the evidence? It wasn’t enough what he did to Emilia?!”
“I am actually amazed you sent her away. Depriving her of another weapon to use against me. Was that not what you’ve wanted this whole time?” Talia settled into the sofa cushion recently vacated by Emilia.
“Do you really think she needs to hear that the same man that hurt her hurt me first? If you had any idea, would you have done anything that could’ve prevented all this? And people think I’m the heartless bitch of this group.” Sensing Talia’s hesitation, she rolled her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
Unprompted, Amber came to sit by Talia and flipped over her arms. Both wrists still had a hairline of a scar. “Not as vivid as they were but they singed for weeks. Zip ties aren’t exactly the best restraints for this.” She shook her head in disgust. “I really hate myself for not making him sign a contract first but even if he saw that I’d bolded and underlined my one rule three times, he wouldn’t have honored it. Bastard had no sense of humor.”
“What’s the one rule?”
“The hallmark of S&M. If I say the safe word, stop immediately. He gladly settled for me when you were unavailable, but he was livid when I said the word. He screwed me so hard like he had a personal score to settle.”
Talia nodded. “Yeah I can see why hearing that name being screamed out would bruise his ego.”
“Anyway, now you know.” Amber drew her arms back into herself.
“You said you ran away when you were 14. What were you running away from?”
An uncomfortable groan escaped Amber as she preemptively wiped her eyes. “My mom was held in a rundown apartment complex in The Underground with several other women. One of the men she serviced wound up being my father. She wanted to run but they kept her addicted so she couldn’t leave. She finally overdosed so she could finally escape. Then her captors turned their attention to me.”
Amber stopped briefly to grab hold of her legs and pull them into her chest. Talia eyed her warily, recognizing her body language as the same Scarlet used whenever she talked about what her father did to her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she moaned, “the others swore that talking about it would get easier every time and it feels worse than before…” But when she looked back at Talia, she saw something in her she never had before: sympathy. She nodded and that gave her the strength to finish.
“Having an S&M specialty helped get me this job… Unfortunately, that choice was made for me way back then. They didn’t want to ruin my youthfulness with drugs so I was constantly bound when someone wanted to use me. I can only feel aroused when I’m tied up. As much as I hate it, my body doesn’t know any better.”
“How old when you started?”
“My body ‘matured’ when I was 11. I was only able to get away three years later because one of the men felt sorry for me. He snuck me out and pointed me toward what ultimately became Calypso.”
“Did you ever see him again?”
“Who knows? You might have seen him at some point… not sure how he knew the brothers would take care of me but he did have some sort of connection with them, I’m sure.“
“I am actually amazed you sent her away. Depriving her of another weapon to use against me. Was that not what you’ve wanted this whole time?” Talia settled into the sofa cushion recently vacated by Emilia.
“Do you really think she needs to hear that the same man that hurt her hurt me first? If you had any idea, would you have done anything that could’ve prevented all this? And people think I’m the heartless bitch of this group.” Sensing Talia’s hesitation, she rolled her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
Unprompted, Amber came to sit by Talia and flipped over her arms. Both wrists still had a hairline of a scar. “Not as vivid as they were but they singed for weeks. Zip ties aren’t exactly the best restraints for this.” She shook her head in disgust. “I really hate myself for not making him sign a contract first but even if he saw that I’d bolded and underlined my one rule three times, he wouldn’t have honored it. Bastard had no sense of humor.”
“What’s the one rule?”
“The hallmark of S&M. If I say the safe word, stop immediately. He gladly settled for me when you were unavailable, but he was livid when I said the word. He screwed me so hard like he had a personal score to settle.”
Talia nodded. “Yeah I can see why hearing that name being screamed out would bruise his ego.”
“Anyway, now you know.” Amber drew her arms back into herself.
“You said you ran away when you were 14. What were you running away from?”
An uncomfortable groan escaped Amber as she preemptively wiped her eyes. “My mom was held in a rundown apartment complex in The Underground with several other women. One of the men she serviced wound up being my father. She wanted to run but they kept her addicted so she couldn’t leave. She finally overdosed so she could finally escape. Then her captors turned their attention to me.”
Amber stopped briefly to grab hold of her legs and pull them into her chest. Talia eyed her warily, recognizing her body language as the same Scarlet used whenever she talked about what her father did to her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she moaned, “the others swore that talking about it would get easier every time and it feels worse than before…” But when she looked back at Talia, she saw something in her she never had before: sympathy. She nodded and that gave her the strength to finish.
“Having an S&M specialty helped get me this job… Unfortunately, that choice was made for me way back then. They didn’t want to ruin my youthfulness with drugs so I was constantly bound when someone wanted to use me. I can only feel aroused when I’m tied up. As much as I hate it, my body doesn’t know any better.”
“How old when you started?”
“My body ‘matured’ when I was 11. I was only able to get away three years later because one of the men felt sorry for me. He snuck me out and pointed me toward what ultimately became Calypso.”
“Did you ever see him again?”
“Who knows? You might have seen him at some point… not sure how he knew the brothers would take care of me but he did have some sort of connection with them, I’m sure.“
For a while, neither said anything. Amber studied Talia as she stared off into space, contemplating. The sympathetic look in her eyes remained but with the silence, it started to become annoying. “Well, go ahead. Convince me why yours is the winning sob story. So you can go back to feeling sorry for yourself and the rest of us can just screw ourselves.”
“No… I was just thinking about my stepfather. He insisted on taking care of me while my mother worked to support us. As I got older, our relationship changed. I had my first experience of heartbreak, so he said to me, ‘no boy will ever be good enough for my princess.’ I believed him. He was so kind, always giving me gifts, saying I was beautiful and no one deserved me.”
Amber scoffed, “right, because the rest of the world is evil and Princess Talia is just a victim. Excuse me while I throw up…” But when she returned her attention back to Talia, something seemed off. She showed no evidence she’d heard her. Her eyes were crazed as if she was disbelieving her own words.
“I didn’t think too much of it when he asked me to come into bed with him. He was a gentle lover, let me get comfortable and never went too fast. I loved that ecstasy so much.” She sighed before nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “He and my mother had problems. She said how he never loved her anymore and he said she worked so hard she was unable to make love when she came home. She found us in bed together. I was so in love with him I couldn’t bear to leave him so she abandoned both of us, saying how we deserved each other. I should have realized the truth… before he took everything else from me.”
Self-consciously, Talia held onto her right elbow, squeezing down hard. Despite being on the brink of hyperventilation, her left hand was the steadiest part of her as she pulled off what appeared to be flesh colored tape running along the underside of her elbow. Sardonically, she explained, “you could say this is my cross to bear… I have not showed this to anyone. While the brothers had me in their care those six months, most of the damage vanished. But some scars never fade.”
The veins in her right arm were darkened and corroded, particularly in her elbow joint. Talia tugged her arm against her body, just short of collapsing into herself. All of the remaining anger and resentment Amber felt toward Talia extinguished. “Those marks on your arm… my mom had them as long as I can remember. He got you hooked on drugs, didn’t he? Her stepfather?”
She nodded. All the anger and tears came out as her accent became muddled from grief. “It was the only other thing we regularly did together. It got even worse after my mother left. The brothers found me searching his pockets for one last packet of coke. I struggled to break my addiction and they looked after me. In my recovery, I remembered one thing he always said to me. Sex is the best way to make money in a place like this. And the only thing in life that satisfied me like coke was sex. I overheard the brothers talk about money problems at one of their businesses. So I came up with the idea—I prostitute myself to find that high and I’d give them my earnings to make up for the money he took from them for the drugs. They refused at first until I showed them what I could do. They didn’t like it, but what choice did I have? I didn’t have any other skills, no way to make a living.”
As she told the story, Amber rubbed Talia’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Once she was done, they were both besides themselves. Amber finally found the perfect way to sum everything up, “We did what we had to survive.”
Talia sighed, admitting, “I could never admit this to Vanessa but she was right. I have not been myself for some time because I realized that’s all I do. I survive. Juan Paulo made me question everything I thought I knew about myself but the short time we were together, I cannot remember being happier… The other night with Emilia, it reminded me he was a good man. But the way he looked at me, even if I wanted to fix the damage I did, I don’t know if I can.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Nothing now… first, I want to hear your ideas for dancing.”
“Really? You’re finally letting me do something new?”
“It’s the least I can do. You told me your story and you let me tell mine.”
“Sure, uh,” her forehead crinkled as she said the first thing that came to mind, “each of us could pick a song that tells a story from the troubles in our pasts. Just for ourselves. Then, if we want to share it with the public, we can.”
Talia nodded, tears dried under her eyes. “I think I know just the one. But first, we have one important matter to finish.”
“No… I was just thinking about my stepfather. He insisted on taking care of me while my mother worked to support us. As I got older, our relationship changed. I had my first experience of heartbreak, so he said to me, ‘no boy will ever be good enough for my princess.’ I believed him. He was so kind, always giving me gifts, saying I was beautiful and no one deserved me.”
Amber scoffed, “right, because the rest of the world is evil and Princess Talia is just a victim. Excuse me while I throw up…” But when she returned her attention back to Talia, something seemed off. She showed no evidence she’d heard her. Her eyes were crazed as if she was disbelieving her own words.
“I didn’t think too much of it when he asked me to come into bed with him. He was a gentle lover, let me get comfortable and never went too fast. I loved that ecstasy so much.” She sighed before nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “He and my mother had problems. She said how he never loved her anymore and he said she worked so hard she was unable to make love when she came home. She found us in bed together. I was so in love with him I couldn’t bear to leave him so she abandoned both of us, saying how we deserved each other. I should have realized the truth… before he took everything else from me.”
Self-consciously, Talia held onto her right elbow, squeezing down hard. Despite being on the brink of hyperventilation, her left hand was the steadiest part of her as she pulled off what appeared to be flesh colored tape running along the underside of her elbow. Sardonically, she explained, “you could say this is my cross to bear… I have not showed this to anyone. While the brothers had me in their care those six months, most of the damage vanished. But some scars never fade.”
The veins in her right arm were darkened and corroded, particularly in her elbow joint. Talia tugged her arm against her body, just short of collapsing into herself. All of the remaining anger and resentment Amber felt toward Talia extinguished. “Those marks on your arm… my mom had them as long as I can remember. He got you hooked on drugs, didn’t he? Her stepfather?”
She nodded. All the anger and tears came out as her accent became muddled from grief. “It was the only other thing we regularly did together. It got even worse after my mother left. The brothers found me searching his pockets for one last packet of coke. I struggled to break my addiction and they looked after me. In my recovery, I remembered one thing he always said to me. Sex is the best way to make money in a place like this. And the only thing in life that satisfied me like coke was sex. I overheard the brothers talk about money problems at one of their businesses. So I came up with the idea—I prostitute myself to find that high and I’d give them my earnings to make up for the money he took from them for the drugs. They refused at first until I showed them what I could do. They didn’t like it, but what choice did I have? I didn’t have any other skills, no way to make a living.”
As she told the story, Amber rubbed Talia’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Once she was done, they were both besides themselves. Amber finally found the perfect way to sum everything up, “We did what we had to survive.”
Talia sighed, admitting, “I could never admit this to Vanessa but she was right. I have not been myself for some time because I realized that’s all I do. I survive. Juan Paulo made me question everything I thought I knew about myself but the short time we were together, I cannot remember being happier… The other night with Emilia, it reminded me he was a good man. But the way he looked at me, even if I wanted to fix the damage I did, I don’t know if I can.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Nothing now… first, I want to hear your ideas for dancing.”
“Really? You’re finally letting me do something new?”
“It’s the least I can do. You told me your story and you let me tell mine.”
“Sure, uh,” her forehead crinkled as she said the first thing that came to mind, “each of us could pick a song that tells a story from the troubles in our pasts. Just for ourselves. Then, if we want to share it with the public, we can.”
Talia nodded, tears dried under her eyes. “I think I know just the one. But first, we have one important matter to finish.”
***
I originally had another generic title for this chapter, but recently I changed it to what it is now.
It's funny looking back on how I came up with Amber's complicated backstory because the songs from Karmin's debut LP sounded like their own storyline... and I wound up not using any of those songs in the final story. Fully-fleshed ideas I couldn't find a place for.
"Coming up strong" was the only ballad of the 6 songs and the only one where the guy in the duo sings lead. Looking at the lyrics for the first time ever, I might have had the meaning completely wrong. I'd always heard it as the breaking point in a relationship and a reconcilation happens where they decide they're not going to give up on each other. (The actual lyrics sorta say the opposite... I hate when that happens :/ )
I had it in mind during a backstory. Carmen does a slow rumba dance for Scarlet after she miscarries to reaffirm she has her back. (This is going back maybe 10 years before the main story takes place- Their last nice little moment together before Talia comes into the picture). And I thought maybe I'd bring it into the final chapters of the story but instead it would be a smooth hip-hop routine like what NappyTab did with "Bleeding Love" on "so you think you can dance"
I had it in mind during a backstory. Carmen does a slow rumba dance for Scarlet after she miscarries to reaffirm she has her back. (This is going back maybe 10 years before the main story takes place- Their last nice little moment together before Talia comes into the picture). And I thought maybe I'd bring it into the final chapters of the story but instead it would be a smooth hip-hop routine like what NappyTab did with "Bleeding Love" on "so you think you can dance"
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