After Ruby left Evangeline’s, Vanessa and Amber spent the rest of the night in near silence. Between sips from their drinks, Amber exchanged pleasantries with her friends but otherwise stared contemplatively into the distance.
The two months Vanessa spent in her company provided useless in riddling her vacant expression. Was she still fuming that her plans had been foiled by Ruby for the umpteenth time? Or was it something else, perhaps guilt or regret over how she handled the turn of events? All Vanessa knew for sure was that Amber was a difficult person to predict. The last thing she wanted was to speak first and trigger a fight.
Amber led the way back to her place. Once she got there, however, she paused with her key in the door and tilted her head back toward her left. “Wanna spend the night? Or would you rather go back to Talia’s? I wouldn’t mind if you decided to leave.”
Taken aback, Vanessa flushed, “No, it’s ok. I wouldn’t mind spending the night.” Amber responded with a grateful smile and opened the door. More silence followed as sleeping arrangements were made. Before Amber retired to her room, Vanessa asked the burning question. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but… how are you doing?”
Amber sighed. Again, she turned her head just enough to make eye contact. “I’m not sure… I know tonight didn’t go the way any of us wanted. I blame myself…” Her hand clenched into a fist and she pressed the side of it into the wall. “I never wanted Emilia to see me like that. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive me for it.”
“Emilia is a resilient kid. Better than any of us. I’m sure she’s fine.”
“Thank you… and thanks, for staying with me.”
Vanessa shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I figured all those years you were just being difficult because you needed a friend to confide it. And I’m still happy to be that person for you.” Amber offered another smile but added nothing more before shutting herself in for the night.
The next morning Vanessa woke up to find herself alone in Amber’s apartment. While making herself a pot of tea, she found a curious note on the counter.
Hey Vanessa,
Thanks again for last night.
Help yourself to whatever you need.
Ruby messaged me to meet her at the cafe so I thought I’d take her up on it.
“Whoa, ok…” Vanessa ruminated for a while but couldn’t help but laugh. Never in a million years could she have imagined anything like this happening.
* * *
Scarlet visited Dr. Rodriguez at his office for an official check-up, which confirmed her pregnancy. She left with instructions and a suggested shopping list of items to pick up at the local pharmacy. Each step she took, the truth sunk in further and she didn’t know what to think. As nervous as she was about the aspect of motherhood, it excited her just as much. After several minutes of playing around with baby names and wondering whether she preferred a boy or girl, she found herself at Javier’s door with no recollection of how she got there.
She shook her head, balking, “I hope this isn’t going to become a new habit.” Before she took a single step in the opposite direction, her last memory of Juan Paulo flashed through her mind. The haunted distant look in his eyes. Her hand slowly clenched into a fist and she knocked twice on the front door.
Scarlet tapped her foot, waiting patiently for a moment before knocking again. “Javi, JP, it’s Scarlet!”
The door opened so fast, it made Scarlet jump. Juan Paulo gasped, “what is it? Is Emilia ok?”
“Yeah. I mean, she’s ok as can be expected…” she trailed off when she noticed the state of the door. Juan Paulo almost ripped it off the top hinge in his urgency. “Can I come in?”
“Javi is bringing back some food before this afternoon’s rehearsal.” He mentioned in passing as he ushered Scarlet into the foyer, taking more care to close the door. “It’ll be a long day so we’ll have plenty.”
“No, that’s ok. I won’t be long. And I’m not hungry anyway.” A distinct gurgling in her stomach betrayed her. Blushing, rolling her eyes and smiling all within a second, she rubbed her hand across it to make it stop. Her face flushed a brighter shade after accidentally catching his eye and turning away. After clearing her throat, she recovered, “uh, can we sit down somewhere so we can talk?”
“Sure.” He escorted her to his room, sitting in his desk chair by the window while she sat on the bed.
Placing the pharmacy bag at her feet, Scarlet folded her hands on her lap and rubbed them together until the right words came to her. “I wanted to ask you something… when you left last night, you seemed a little distracted… like your mind was somewhere further away.”
He turned away with a heavy sigh. Taking the briefest moment to wipe the edge of his left eye with the heel of his palm, he nodded. “What happened with Emilia… it hit kinda close to home.” He leaned toward the nearby shelf where he kept binders full of lyrics and ideas and pulled out a brown leather photo album worn around the spine. Sighing again after finding the page he was looking for, his voice quivered as he handed it over to her. “I can’t remember the last time I looked at this…”
The left page had a collage of photos over the years from Halloweens and Christmases. Scarlet recognized Juan Paulo from age 6 to 16-17 with the sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. The girl he had his arm around in every photo had the same hair, but her eyes were a dark brown. As they aged, his smile remained the same while hers became more sullen. Then in the two most recent photos, she refused to even look at the camera.
On the right page, instead of photos, there were two newspaper clippings. As soon as she read the headlines, Scarlet gasped, quickly readjusting her grip when the album nearly fell out of her hands. The first clipping was an obituary; the second, the conclusion of a criminal investigation. The perpetrator was sentenced to life without parole for first degree murder and several other charges including multiple counts of indecent assault.
“JP, I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I can’t…” She stammered, handing the album back to him.
“Other than Javi, you’re the only other person I’ve told.” He traced some of the photos as more thoughts came to him. “My dad left us when I was 11. Mom worked two jobs, but we barely had enough to get by. It started with having less for Christmas, using cheaper handmade costumes for Halloween. But what really bothered her was no longer having the nicest clothes. Her friends were always on the cutting edge of the latest trends and she couldn’t keep up. We’d go to thrift stores and she dreaded that someone she knew would see her there.
Then something changed in high school. She started hanging out with people I didn’t recognize. Started getting nicer clothes and jewelry. A different boyfriend every week, or so I thought.
Then she started coming home late… sometimes out of sorts. She was resentful whenever I asked. We had a horrible fight the last time we spoke. That night, she never came home. I went out looking for her the next morning. The authorities were already there making reports. They found her in an alley, disheveled, bruises in all the predictable places.”
Suddenly, he slammed the photo album closed and threw it against the wall as if it’d wounded him. Hunched over with his hands interlocked, he shuddered, “I couldn’t save her… I can’t save anyone.”
Scarlet didn’t know if he meant his sister or Talia. Whatever the truth was, the change in how he acted around Talia after his date with Vanessa made a lot more sense. “You thought you could help Talia to make up for what happened?”
He sighed, but quickly regained himself as he straightened his spine and combed away his bangs. “It’s stupid, I know. You can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped. But I had to try.”
“I know… and you’re wrong, JP. You helped Emilia. You may have even saved her life. If that doesn’t change Talia’s mind about you, nothing will.”
He laughed with a clear scoff in his tone but retained his smile. “I highly doubt it, but I appreciate the thought.”
Scarlet rubbed her palms together, taking everything in stride, but couldn’t help but ask, “How did you do it? Keep this dark secret inside all this time?”
He shrugged but started grinning as if Scarlet missed something obvious. “How do any of you get through each day with the traumas in your pasts? I choose which scars to show and which to hide, just like any of you.” In one smooth motion, he picked up the photo album off the floor and restored it to its rightful place on the shelf. “I want my legacy to be defined by the big brother she grew up admiring, not the disappointment that let her down.”
“Wow… you’re still better at this than the rest of us.” She picked up the bag and got to her feet. “If you and Talia see each other again, tell her what you told me.“
“Can’t make any promises but I’ll give it a try. I’ll tell Javi you stopped by.”
At that comment, Scarlet’s right hand lost its grip and the pharmacy bag hit the floor. A bottle of prenatal vitamins rolled out of it. She hissed, “oh…”
“Hang on, I’ll get it.” He quickly bent down to put the bottle back inside the bag and handed it back to her. Her face and neck burning red, Scarlet rubbed the back of her neck with her opposite hand. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But you should tell Javi.”
“I know…” Scarlet took a few extra breaths to steady her heart and drain the color out of her face. “You’re actually the only other person that knows, other than my doctor. I’m not ready for anyone else to know yet. He told me that there shouldn’t be any problems this time but I’m still nervous…”
“It’ll be fine, Scarlet. You have a lot of people around you that care about you. You’re not alone.”
* * *
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but it means a lot that you’re willing to at least give me another chance.” Amber said to Ruby as she met her at her favorite lunch spot.
Sarcasm cut through her matter-of-fact response. “Well, it’s the least I could do. I mean, after all the times I tried to get you to do something with me, I’d be a fool not to make the most of this opportunity.” While Vanessa was receptive to Amber’s plight, Ruby found it difficult to swallow. She let Amber say her piece at Evangeline’s, but left immediately afterwards, speechless. In truth, she needed more time for it sink in. “So, was this bitchiness just an act to keep us off the trail or do you actually hate me?”
She folded her hands on the tabletop. “I kept my distance because I hated the way I left and didn’t wanted to be remembered that way. I hated that you were the girl Talia wanted. Who matched her vision. As someone who helped Scarlet pick up the pieces and start a new life, I hated that you had that same chance and didn’t take it.” Ruby looked up then and found Amber straining to hold back tears. “It took me a long time to understand that you do what you need to do in this town. But back then, it felt like a betrayal.”
Ruby didn’t answer the plea in Amber’s tone but dropped her defensiveness. “That would explain why you would sometimes listen to my sister and not me…”
“And it wasn’t just that.” Amber blotted the corners of her eyes. “I’ve given very few performances that were really personal to me. But they’ve gone unacknowledged because you always followed me with something better.”
“All right,” Ruby crossed her arms, “aside from last night, name one other time this happened.”
“My debut as a siren, ‘Evangeline.’ She was my best friend. I returned to Calypso shortly after she was killed and my routine paid homage to her memory. Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of her death.”
Ruby’s heart dropped into her stomach and whatever anger she had dispelled through her pores. “Why didn’t you tell me that? I would have understood…”
“Because I didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for me… and my reward for that was almost getting killed by Evangeline’s murderer ex-boyfriend. Alejandro went after me and saved my life when Isaac had me in a very compromising position. I never did thank him for keeping that a secret.”
“Amber, you talk about the bond you had with my sister and how you had her back for the time I wasn’t there. Why is it so hard for you to trust us to do the same for you? All of us sirens look out for one another because, growing up, no one else did.”
“Hmm,” she pondered for a while before finding an ideal reply, “that sounds like something your sister would say.”
“What do you expect? You spend enough time with her, and that optimism rubs off on ya.” She not only managed a smile, but she meant every muscle behind it.
* * *
For the second time in the last 30 days, all business at Calypso ceased. Although it was Talia’s doing on both occasions, she determined that operations would resume in a matter of weeks under her strict terms and conditions. Alejandro relayed her instructions through a series of texts, all of which were professional but detached. These included sentiments such as “closed rehearsals will be held onsite at Calypso and Talia’s residence” and “on opening night, your presence in the audience is highly requested”.
Vanessa concluded—and later confirmed with Alejandro—that she was barred from her own living quarters for the time being. Amber picked up on this as well and graciously offered her a place to stay. One peculiarity she hadn’t noticed and Vanessa caught right away: the two of them and Ruby received the same instructions. Scarlet and Emilia’s names, on the other hand, were absent under the list of addressees. It stood to reason that they would be involved in Talia’s comeback performance.
Having this “veil of secrecy” in place wasn’t a new approach for Talia. Considering how long she’d been away, it was only natural she wanted to make as big a splash as possible to reestablish herself. What was strange, however, was the fact none of them had heard anything from Scarlet or Emilia since the night of Amber’s showcase.
Texts to Emilia went unanswered and her phone went straight to voicemail. Given the current situation, Talia thought it was best to turn it off for the time being. The sedative had worn off, but the trauma she’d suffered was hindering her ability to fully regain consciousness. She woke up screaming from night terrors and Talia had to soothe her until she fell back asleep. Scarlet paged Dr. Rodriguez about this issue, but his only advice was to let it run its course. Amid Talia’s exasperation, Scarlet held firm, reminding her that recovery from trauma wasn’t a straight line. She quickly backed off and shifted her focus elsewhere.
* * *
Ruby gave her sister space for a day or two until curiosity got the better of her. She reached Scarlet on her first attempt. The resulting call was hectic and shorter than she would’ve liked; fortunately, she had the foresight to put it on speaker so Amber and Vanessa could listen in.
“Hey Ruby, I can’t talk long. Talia has us under a strict schedule.”
“So you’re ok, then. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m being over…”
“No, it’s ok. Don’t worry about me. Everything’s fine.”
“That’s good.” Ruby paused, looking to Vanessa and Amber to see if they had anything to add. Both of them mouthed Emilia’s name. “Listen, none of us had heard from Emilia in days. She hasn’t answered her texts or phone. Is she there with you by any chance?”
“I’m not really supposed to say anything… yeah, she is here and she’s fine… considering everything…”
Something in Scarlet’s tone produced a lump in Vanessa’s throat. But before she could act on it, Amber shouted, “Scarlet, it’s Amber. Can you just tell Emilia I’m really sorry for blowing up the other night? I let things get out of hand and I completely understand if she doesn’t want to work with me again.”
The reply she received at first was staggered breathing with the occasional nondescript high-pitched inflection. Ruby gasped upon realizing, “she’s crying… Scarlet, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing… I’m just… I’m so sorry I didn’t make it for the showcase. I really wanted to be there, but I got mad at Talia about JP and I came here… this whole mess is really my fault.”
Both Ruby and Amber said, “no” and were about to launch into their own dissertations about why that wasn’t true when Vanessa took the phone out of Ruby’s hand, turned off speakerphone, and walked to the other side of the room.
“Listen, we can point fingers about who’s to blame later. Right now, your job is to do whatever Talia says, ok?”
Breathing a huge sigh, Scarlet replied, “you’re right. Thanks, Vanessa. In that case, I’d better go. Could you… at least tell Amber that I really do have a good explanation for skipping out the other night? Something happened, something really good happened, and I want to tell her first.”
“Really?” She eyed Amber from across the room. “Ok, I’ll tell her. We’ll see you on opening night.”
The three of them stood in silence for a minute. Just as Vanessa was predictable about being the practical one, Amber was the first to state the obvious. “Ok, I’m not the only one who thought that was weird, am I?”
“Definitely not.” Ruby scratched her head. “I know my sister and she’s usually an open book. Talia must be running a really tight ship.”
“True, but not to this extent.” Vanessa paced around the room in what felt like slow motion with her arms crossed around her ribs. “Alejandro is with her, so she obviously knows how things went down the other night. The fight and Emilia leaving to get away from it. She’s probably just as mad at me and that’s why she’s kicked me out of our apartment. But she could’ve done that after our last fight. Something’s just not adding up and whatever it is, Talia is keeping us in the dark until the show.” She handed the phone back to Ruby, both acknowledging one another with a wary glance.
Amber asked, “Hey Vanessa, did Scarlet say something else about me when it was just the two of you on the call? There was a moment there…”
“Yeah, that was another strange thing. She said she wanted to tell you something and she wanted you to hear it first.”
“Well, I did promise to tell her something no one else knows. Maybe it’s something to do with that.”
“Ok. I just hope that’s all it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… I just have a bad feeling about all of this. It’d be easy to say we have to be prepared for anything, but I don’t think any amount of preparation will be enough for what’s next.”
* * *
After returning from Juan Paulo’s residence, Scarlet asked Talia if she could stay at her place while she figured some things out. Talia agreed without hesitation and required no further explanation as to what these things were. Naturally, this came with one caveat: absolute discretion about what happened to Emilia. If anyone asked about her whereabouts, the alibi was that they were “busy rehearsing.” The only rehearsing that took place, however, was Talia working out choreography without music. It wasn’t long before Scarlet realized she was in the dark just as much as everyone else.
In a bizarre twist of fate, Alejandro was the one person Talia provided with any specifics. Like clockwork, he arrived at the apartment each morning around 9 and they were in heavy discussions—all in Spanish—until sunset with a break for lunch in between. Despite the language barrier, Scarlet quickly became accustomed to different tones and inflections. Both sides kept things professional, but Alejandro would occasionally try to break the tension. Every now and then, someone’s name would be mentioned and no one was mentioned more than Amber. When this occurred, Talia had an air of contempt that permeated every square inch of the apartment. Alejandro, on the other hand, tried to dilute the tension with diplomacy. At times, his tone sounded apologetic, sometimes to the point of being defensive. It was also the only circumstance that resurrected the Talia of old, throwing insults like daggers.
Through all this, Scarlet’s pregnancy was one of the last things on her mind. The daily exchanges between Talia and Alejandro proved to be as engrossing as a soap opera. But every now and then, little reminders crept in, typically in the form of cravings. Thanks to the depot of food trucks, this was an easy thing to manage and it encouraged her to try cuisines she normally wouldn’t have considered.
However, there was one night that caused her extra discomfort. Close to midnight, she had a sudden craving for street tacos. The small occupant in her belly appreciated it, but the rest of her body didn’t quite feel the same. She was in the bathroom, firmly planted on the toilet, until after 2am as the contents worked their way through her system. Once she cleaned up and laid back on the couch, her mind was too busy to think about sleep. She rubbed her belly, not round enough to be noticeable, and remarked with the kind of wry humor she’d heard Amber use hundreds of times. “That’s enough junk food for a while. I can’t afford to miss out on this much sleep every night.”
For the first time in ages, she thought about her last pregnancy and the one person that supported her through its short duration. The few memories she had of her old roommate were obscured by a thick haze. It took several moments before she was able to recall her name. She’d left shortly after Talia made Calypso what it is today and it wasn’t on good terms. Even though she’d reunited with her sister during this time, Scarlet remembered missing her terribly and blaming herself for her untimely departure. The specific details beyond that were lost in the haze and sleep finally found her before she could break through it.
A few short hours later, Scarlet was aroused from her bed by two sudden developments. Alejandro arrived out of breath. Abandoning all pretenses and self-control, he explained that Rodrigo had been surrendered by his own family to the custody of his uncles. He awaited interrogation and, ultimately, punishment at Talia’s earliest convenience. The second development immediately put these plans on hold— Emilia was finally awake and fully conscious.
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