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Through her habitual check-ins, Talia had grown accustomed to Emilia lying still in bed. So it was a genuine shock when she found her one morning not only awake and alert but sitting up. Her arms wrapped around her legs like a protective cage and her chin rested atop the gap between them. Her eyes were red and puffy; clearly she’d been up for a while, crying.
“Emilia, thank goodness you’re finally awake. I was so…” She meant to rush to her side to embrace but Emilia’s shaky tone stopped her immediately.
“Don’t! Just stay away from me.” She recoiled like she’d just been struck and inched a few inches back.
“Emilia…”
She promptly turned her back to her. “I have nothing to say to you. The whole reason he hurt me was because of you.”
Talia gaped, opening and closing her mouth multiple times but she couldn’t get any words to come out. Before she could appeal to Alejandro, he was already two steps ahead of her.
Alejandro crossed the room in front of her and knelt down in front of Emilia on the other side of the bed. The tiniest of shivers ran down every inch of her body. Her eyes squeezed shut as tears poured down her cheeks and soft sobs vibrated in her throat.
“Hey Emilia…”
“If you’re only here to defend her, I don’t want to hear it!” Her voice broke. She buried her face between her knees to muffle the sobs. Talia stood crying in the doorway, one hand covering her mouth while the other braced the wall for support.
“I feel that some of the responsibility is mine. One of us should have been there to look out for you.” He paused in anticipation of another retort. When only sobs penetrated the silence, he added, “I also thought you should know that Rodrigo won’t be able to hurt you anymore. My uncles have him in their custody while he waits for his punishment.”
“How do I know Talia isn’t going to just screw him again and get him off?” She rasped between sobs. A gasp escaped Talia’s lips as she flinched at the insinuation.
Alejandro took a deep breath, doing all he could to remain the calmest person in the room. “Listen, I’ve known this guy for a long time. There will be a line of people on standby to give him what’s coming.”
With an abundance of caution, he reached to lay a hand on the one nearest him. This time, Emilia didn’t flinch or move away. She lifted her head, revealing streaks of dried up makeup. She sniffled, “You promise?”
“How do I know Talia isn’t going to just screw him again and get him off?” She rasped between sobs. A gasp escaped Talia’s lips as she flinched at the insinuation.
Alejandro took a deep breath, doing all he could to remain the calmest person in the room. “Listen, I’ve known this guy for a long time. There will be a line of people on standby to give him what’s coming.”
With an abundance of caution, he reached to lay a hand on the one nearest him. This time, Emilia didn’t flinch or move away. She lifted her head, revealing streaks of dried up makeup. She sniffled, “You promise?”
“Cross my heart.” He raised his other hand to rest on hers and gently squeezed for a half a second. “We really are glad you’re ok.”
“We?” She asked without an ounce of break.
He nodded, letting go before standing up and facing the open doorway. “Scarlet, if you’re awake out there, could you come in and help Emilia?”
“Scarlet?” Emilia’s tone colored with newfound confusion. All of the questions that bubbled up in her mind were dashed when she saw Scarlet.
“Emilia,” she wrapped her arms around her shoulders, “I’m so glad you’re finally back.”
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s a long story. Come on,” she slowly helped Emilia to her feet and lent herself as a crutch, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
Surmising the situation, Talia exited the room and stood out of the path leading to the bathroom. Neither of the two women spared her a backwards glance as they passed through.
Scarlet started the hot water in the shower while Emilia looked herself over in the mirror. The bruises on her arms and face had faded but aches and soreness remained. She removed the bandage on her forehead. The cut left behind by Rodrigo’s ring was gone. She ran her palm over the surface and couldn’t even feel a trace of it. Scarlet reached over to help her undress, but Emilia shrugged away. “I can handle it, thank you.”
Scarlet got comfortable on the toilet seat lid; her fingers intertwined as she stared at the ground. “None of this would’ve happened if I’d been there. I left in the middle of JP’s set to come here…” She trailed off, not sure how to continue.
Emilia stepped into the shower and closed the curtain, but she spent several minutes leaning against the wall as the hot water ran down her back. By the time she was ready to start washing up, Scarlet relayed as many details as she could while keeping her secret out of it. Giving Talia grief about JP, suddenly falling ill and giving a blow by blow of what Amber had planned for her show. The theatricality of Scarlet’s retelling made Emilia smile for the first time since she’d woken up, but an undercurrent of conflict remained. She couldn’t find her voice to speak it aloud, but she repeated in her head over and over. “That was the best night of my life. That monster is not going to take that away from me.”
Slowly, the reality around her dissolves and she finds herself in the vision of Scarlet’s narrative. At the end of the final number, she exits the backstage and arrives in a haunted graveyard. Wolves howl. Long shadows cast over tombstones. Walking past all that, she enters the dilapidated side of town tourists aren’t meant to see. Buildings are in disrepair, walls of concrete in various stages of crumbling. The moonlight lighting her way is snuffed out by the shadow of her attacker but as she looks to either side of her, she’s relieved to discover she is no longer alone.
“How you want to handle this is your choice, Emilia.” Emilia shuddered with a gasp. She’d forgotten Scarlet was there or where she was for that matter. “You can take as much time as you need. There’s no rush to come back… that is, if you want to.”
With a newfound vigor, Emilia finished up. She stretched an arm outside the curtain to request a towel. She wrapped it tight across her body, emerging with remnants of her vision swirling through her head. Scarlet called for her attention several times, succeeding on the 4th attempt. She spared her a grateful smile and a nod before walking out. Talia and Alejandro jumped to their feet when she entered the sitting room.
Against her better judgment, Talia tried to speak, “Emilia, I…” and stopped after she backed away, wrapping the towel tighter around her.
“I won’t forgive you… but I know what I want to do.” She allowed herself a deep breath and exhale to get her head straight. “I want to do a dance and I want you and Scarlet to do it with me.”
“I don’t know, Emilia, it’s too soon…”
“No, it has to be now. While all of this is fresh in my head.” She quickly added for good measure, “before I do anything else for you, I need you to do this for me.”
Talia looked around the room to gauge everyone else’s feelings on this. She didn’t have to say a word. Scarlet and Alejandro both held themselves rigidly with no signs of flinching; she was outnumbered. “All right. Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.”
Much to the surprise of all the parties involved, Emilia’s vision for her next performance came together in a matter of days. She approached each rehearsal with a fervor Talia had never seen in her protege before. It was, however, an attitude Scarlet had a lot of experience between Emilia’s time with Amber and the routine she’d previously proposed to her and her sister. This laser-focused determined version of her that only showed up when Talia wasn’t running the show— it appeared she was here to stay. While unsure about what this meant for the future, both parties agreed on one thing. Work provided Emilia the perfect distraction from what she’d endured and neither of them wanted to disrupt the state of calm it gave her.
Even during her downtime, Emilia left the texts and voicemails that had accumulated in her absence unchecked and unanswered. She didn’t know how much the others knew, but she was positive that she wasn’t ready to discuss it with anyone else. As much as this routine was about working through her pain, she needed it to explain those complicated emotions so she wouldn’t have to revisit every unpleasant detail.
After the first day, Emilia returned to her apartment with Scarlet in tow. Talia agreed to this without argument. Emilia required time away from her if she had any chance of being forgiven. But more importantly, her apartment was full of unpleasant reminders of that traumatic night and the sooner Emilia put it behind her, the better.
This also allowed Talia more freedom to rehearse her own routine in secrecy. Alejandro hung around to observe but otherwise had nothing to contribute. As further details came together, he finally asked how this next show was to be promoted. Talia replied, “call it a comeback but make Emilia’s name the biggest on the marquee.”
In Emilia’s constant company, Scarlet found herself waiting on pins and needles. Everyone’s healing process was different, but she couldn’t help dreading the possibility Emilia couldn’t cope with her trauma and wound up quitting because of it.
Outside work, Emilia went about her day as if nothing had changed. The one exception was whenever she noticed the house Juan Paulo shared with Javier. She’d bite her left thumbnail and pace two or three times in front of it before proceeding onto her next destination. When Scarlet finally asked her about it at the end of their third day of nonstop rehearsal, Emilia shot back with an unexpected query. “Have you and Javi talked at all since you broke up with him?”
“We?” She asked without an ounce of break.
He nodded, letting go before standing up and facing the open doorway. “Scarlet, if you’re awake out there, could you come in and help Emilia?”
“Scarlet?” Emilia’s tone colored with newfound confusion. All of the questions that bubbled up in her mind were dashed when she saw Scarlet.
“Emilia,” she wrapped her arms around her shoulders, “I’m so glad you’re finally back.”
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s a long story. Come on,” she slowly helped Emilia to her feet and lent herself as a crutch, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
Surmising the situation, Talia exited the room and stood out of the path leading to the bathroom. Neither of the two women spared her a backwards glance as they passed through.
Scarlet started the hot water in the shower while Emilia looked herself over in the mirror. The bruises on her arms and face had faded but aches and soreness remained. She removed the bandage on her forehead. The cut left behind by Rodrigo’s ring was gone. She ran her palm over the surface and couldn’t even feel a trace of it. Scarlet reached over to help her undress, but Emilia shrugged away. “I can handle it, thank you.”
Scarlet got comfortable on the toilet seat lid; her fingers intertwined as she stared at the ground. “None of this would’ve happened if I’d been there. I left in the middle of JP’s set to come here…” She trailed off, not sure how to continue.
Emilia stepped into the shower and closed the curtain, but she spent several minutes leaning against the wall as the hot water ran down her back. By the time she was ready to start washing up, Scarlet relayed as many details as she could while keeping her secret out of it. Giving Talia grief about JP, suddenly falling ill and giving a blow by blow of what Amber had planned for her show. The theatricality of Scarlet’s retelling made Emilia smile for the first time since she’d woken up, but an undercurrent of conflict remained. She couldn’t find her voice to speak it aloud, but she repeated in her head over and over. “That was the best night of my life. That monster is not going to take that away from me.”
Slowly, the reality around her dissolves and she finds herself in the vision of Scarlet’s narrative. At the end of the final number, she exits the backstage and arrives in a haunted graveyard. Wolves howl. Long shadows cast over tombstones. Walking past all that, she enters the dilapidated side of town tourists aren’t meant to see. Buildings are in disrepair, walls of concrete in various stages of crumbling. The moonlight lighting her way is snuffed out by the shadow of her attacker but as she looks to either side of her, she’s relieved to discover she is no longer alone.
“How you want to handle this is your choice, Emilia.” Emilia shuddered with a gasp. She’d forgotten Scarlet was there or where she was for that matter. “You can take as much time as you need. There’s no rush to come back… that is, if you want to.”
With a newfound vigor, Emilia finished up. She stretched an arm outside the curtain to request a towel. She wrapped it tight across her body, emerging with remnants of her vision swirling through her head. Scarlet called for her attention several times, succeeding on the 4th attempt. She spared her a grateful smile and a nod before walking out. Talia and Alejandro jumped to their feet when she entered the sitting room.
Against her better judgment, Talia tried to speak, “Emilia, I…” and stopped after she backed away, wrapping the towel tighter around her.
“I won’t forgive you… but I know what I want to do.” She allowed herself a deep breath and exhale to get her head straight. “I want to do a dance and I want you and Scarlet to do it with me.”
“I don’t know, Emilia, it’s too soon…”
“No, it has to be now. While all of this is fresh in my head.” She quickly added for good measure, “before I do anything else for you, I need you to do this for me.”
Talia looked around the room to gauge everyone else’s feelings on this. She didn’t have to say a word. Scarlet and Alejandro both held themselves rigidly with no signs of flinching; she was outnumbered. “All right. Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.”
* * *
Much to the surprise of all the parties involved, Emilia’s vision for her next performance came together in a matter of days. She approached each rehearsal with a fervor Talia had never seen in her protege before. It was, however, an attitude Scarlet had a lot of experience between Emilia’s time with Amber and the routine she’d previously proposed to her and her sister. This laser-focused determined version of her that only showed up when Talia wasn’t running the show— it appeared she was here to stay. While unsure about what this meant for the future, both parties agreed on one thing. Work provided Emilia the perfect distraction from what she’d endured and neither of them wanted to disrupt the state of calm it gave her.
Even during her downtime, Emilia left the texts and voicemails that had accumulated in her absence unchecked and unanswered. She didn’t know how much the others knew, but she was positive that she wasn’t ready to discuss it with anyone else. As much as this routine was about working through her pain, she needed it to explain those complicated emotions so she wouldn’t have to revisit every unpleasant detail.
After the first day, Emilia returned to her apartment with Scarlet in tow. Talia agreed to this without argument. Emilia required time away from her if she had any chance of being forgiven. But more importantly, her apartment was full of unpleasant reminders of that traumatic night and the sooner Emilia put it behind her, the better.
This also allowed Talia more freedom to rehearse her own routine in secrecy. Alejandro hung around to observe but otherwise had nothing to contribute. As further details came together, he finally asked how this next show was to be promoted. Talia replied, “call it a comeback but make Emilia’s name the biggest on the marquee.”
In Emilia’s constant company, Scarlet found herself waiting on pins and needles. Everyone’s healing process was different, but she couldn’t help dreading the possibility Emilia couldn’t cope with her trauma and wound up quitting because of it.
Outside work, Emilia went about her day as if nothing had changed. The one exception was whenever she noticed the house Juan Paulo shared with Javier. She’d bite her left thumbnail and pace two or three times in front of it before proceeding onto her next destination. When Scarlet finally asked her about it at the end of their third day of nonstop rehearsal, Emilia shot back with an unexpected query. “Have you and Javi talked at all since you broke up with him?”
“I didn’t break up with him. Things just got complicated and I needed space to think about some things…” She quickly added, “Javi knows all about what I went through and he knows I’ll come back when I’m ready.“
“Ok, good. I’d just hate for him to go through the same heartache JP went through with Talia.”
“He’s been worried about you, you know. JP. I went to see him the day after to let him know you were on the mend.”
She graciously nodded but continued her pacing. “I really want to go over there and thank him. I’m just afraid I’ll fall apart again if I do. And that I might not be able to stop.”
“Emilia,” Scarlet reached to comb a lock of her hair behind her ear, “you’ve shown us how strong you are these past few days. You’re capable of more than you think.” She reached into her purse and typed a quick text on her phone.
Hesitantly, Emilia asked, “what are you doing? You didn’t just…”
After hitting send and putting her phone away, Scarlet said, “You know, I was always so self-conscious about overstepping or making decisions for people without their permission. It’s about time I changed that.”
“Emilia?!” A familiar male voice called into the street. Emilia spun around to meet it and her jaw dropped. She spared Scarlet a glance. Once the initial shock wore off, she flashed her a grateful smile. Juan Paulo peeked his head out of the door and the rest of his body followed. “How… how are you?”
She blushed, taking the first step. “Doing better… thanks to you.”
Both cautiously continued forward until they were an arm’s length apart. Then in a blink, they entered a long-awaited embrace. Emilia nestled her head against Juan Paulo’s chest, wrapping both arms around his waist. His arms lingered elsewhere, one around her back to pull her body into his and the other behind her head as he rested his chin on her part.
Her voice quivered as she cried her thank you’s. To her amazement, she only had a few sobs in her throat and spent the rest of this time soaking his t-shirt with silent tears. Once everything that had built up in her system ran its course, she found herself taken aback by Juan Paulo’s feelings about the whole affair. Thin layers of clothing separated their hearts and she felt his beating rapidly in his chest. His upper body, particularly his shoulders and the arm around her back, was trembling. This affected his breathing, which was shaky and the occasional indiscernible groan resonated in his throat.
“JP?”
He stuttered, “I’m just so glad you’re ok.” He squeezed tighter for a moment before releasing her. He rubbed her shoulders, staring at his feet to gather himself for a moment before explaining further. His throat tightened, making his voice sound hoarse. “When I saw you lying there, I was so afraid that…” He swallowed and forced himself to meet her eye. He wasn’t crying but the redness around the edges suggested he hadn’t had the best quality of sleep since they last met. “Maybe it’d be better if I just showed you.”
Emilia didn’t get his meaning, but she nodded and accepted his suggestion. Draping an arm around her shoulders, he said to Scarlet, “I promise this will only take a minute.”
“No, it’s fine. Take as long as you need.” Emilia looked to both of them as Juan Paulo escorted her inside. It dawned on her that both of them knew something she didn’t, but she wouldn’t be in the dark much longer.
Emilia emerged from the house five minutes later. Juan Paulo braced her shoulder and squeezed before letting her go. “Thanks for hearing me out, Emilia. Don’t be a stranger, ok?”
“Ok.” Emilia got halfway between him and Scarlet before adding, “promise me you’ll at least think about coming. The show should be soon.”
Leaning against the open doorway, he forced a smile and gave a diplomatic response. “We’ll see. With everything that’s happened, I’m still not sure I’ll be able to go back there. But I promise I will think about it. Goodnight, Emilia. Scarlet.” He turned his back and closed the door behind him.
Emilia went through her nightly routine without saying a word. This caused Scarlet to keep a closer eye on her, once again anticipating an emotional breakdown of some sort. It was only when Emilia sat up in bed with her arms wrapped around her legs she finally spoke her thoughts aloud. “How does he do it?”
“Do what?”
“How does he carry that weight with him? He just carries on with his life without letting it hold him back.”
“I’m not sure if he gave you the same spiel but when he told me, he said that he wanted to live life as the person his sister looked up to, not the person that let her down.”
“Tsk, Talia would probably call that self-righteous BS.” Emilia hugged herself tighter. “But I have to admire how he’s handled that. I’ve treated this routine as another job so I can get to the other side of this. But what if I can’t? What if I go through what happened to you? One day I wake up screaming from the nightmare of it all.”
Scarlet sat next to Emilia and rubbed her shoulder. “Look, the best advice I could give is to take things one day at a time. You can’t let fear keep you from doing what you love. And you can always lean on your friends to help you whenever you need it. That’s always helped me.”
Beaming, Emilia leaned her head on Scarlet’s shoulder. “Thanks, Scarlet. I’m grateful I have you here with me. You’ve been so calm about all this and I need that right now. When I’m still figuring things out. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to check all the messages on my phone.”
“The wonderful thing about being a siren— at the end of the day, it’s your choice which scars you show and which you hide. No one can take that away from you, not even Talia.”
“I really think it’s ready, Talia.” One final day of rehearsals was all Emilia needed to bring her vision to life. Everyone else had left for the day, leaving the two of them in the girls’ bathroom where they removed their stage make-up. “Could you pass it on to the others to come see the show tomorrow night?”
“I’ll have Alejandro take care of it before I leave.” She deliberately avoided her line of sight, focusing on her reflection in the mirror. “Listen, Emilia,” Talia added with a clear air of caution in her tone, “if you reach tomorrow night and decide it’s too much, you can always cancel. Everyone would understand.”
She sighed, resting her hands on her hips. “Talia, you promised you would help me do this. Why do you insist on doubting me?” She rolled her eyes and returned to her reflection. “I’m not the porcelain babydoll you think I am.”
“No, it’s…” She took a moment to collect herself. “It happened to Scarlet when she wanted to do her first solo. She panicked and walked out at the last minute. I just want you to know—whatever you decide, it will be supported.”
Although not fully accepting that explanation, Emilia nodded. “I know. Scarlet still says it’s one of her biggest regrets not going through with that. But I’m not Scarlet, I’m not you, I’m not anyone but me. I have to do things my way. And right now, my way is pushing through this so I can put it behind me.” She leaned over her sink, holding tight with one hand with the other pasted to her forehead. Her breathing became more deliberate with each passing second as she shut her eyes. “I know what I went through was nothing compared to everyone else. He didn’t… but he would have if JP wasn’t there to save me. I’d been living with this for over a week to put every ounce of my pain in this routine. And when it’s done, I never want to feel this way ever again.” Her embrace with Juan Paulo flashed through her head when she found herself in the same headspace he was—feeling weak but yearning to stay strong in despite of it.
Emilia opened her eyes to Talia reaching to brace her shoulder and she immediately flinched away. “Don’t touch me!” Her ankles almost buckled under her, but she saved herself. “Look, I appreciate what you’ve done, but I’m not ready to forgive you. I still don’t know if I ever will.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud, but the whole time she walked home, Emilia could only think about how much she would’ve loved Juan Paulo to be present tomorrow night and how it was Talia’s fault if he didn’t come.
“Ok, good. I’d just hate for him to go through the same heartache JP went through with Talia.”
“He’s been worried about you, you know. JP. I went to see him the day after to let him know you were on the mend.”
She graciously nodded but continued her pacing. “I really want to go over there and thank him. I’m just afraid I’ll fall apart again if I do. And that I might not be able to stop.”
“Emilia,” Scarlet reached to comb a lock of her hair behind her ear, “you’ve shown us how strong you are these past few days. You’re capable of more than you think.” She reached into her purse and typed a quick text on her phone.
Hesitantly, Emilia asked, “what are you doing? You didn’t just…”
After hitting send and putting her phone away, Scarlet said, “You know, I was always so self-conscious about overstepping or making decisions for people without their permission. It’s about time I changed that.”
“Emilia?!” A familiar male voice called into the street. Emilia spun around to meet it and her jaw dropped. She spared Scarlet a glance. Once the initial shock wore off, she flashed her a grateful smile. Juan Paulo peeked his head out of the door and the rest of his body followed. “How… how are you?”
She blushed, taking the first step. “Doing better… thanks to you.”
Both cautiously continued forward until they were an arm’s length apart. Then in a blink, they entered a long-awaited embrace. Emilia nestled her head against Juan Paulo’s chest, wrapping both arms around his waist. His arms lingered elsewhere, one around her back to pull her body into his and the other behind her head as he rested his chin on her part.
Her voice quivered as she cried her thank you’s. To her amazement, she only had a few sobs in her throat and spent the rest of this time soaking his t-shirt with silent tears. Once everything that had built up in her system ran its course, she found herself taken aback by Juan Paulo’s feelings about the whole affair. Thin layers of clothing separated their hearts and she felt his beating rapidly in his chest. His upper body, particularly his shoulders and the arm around her back, was trembling. This affected his breathing, which was shaky and the occasional indiscernible groan resonated in his throat.
“JP?”
He stuttered, “I’m just so glad you’re ok.” He squeezed tighter for a moment before releasing her. He rubbed her shoulders, staring at his feet to gather himself for a moment before explaining further. His throat tightened, making his voice sound hoarse. “When I saw you lying there, I was so afraid that…” He swallowed and forced himself to meet her eye. He wasn’t crying but the redness around the edges suggested he hadn’t had the best quality of sleep since they last met. “Maybe it’d be better if I just showed you.”
Emilia didn’t get his meaning, but she nodded and accepted his suggestion. Draping an arm around her shoulders, he said to Scarlet, “I promise this will only take a minute.”
“No, it’s fine. Take as long as you need.” Emilia looked to both of them as Juan Paulo escorted her inside. It dawned on her that both of them knew something she didn’t, but she wouldn’t be in the dark much longer.
* * *
Emilia emerged from the house five minutes later. Juan Paulo braced her shoulder and squeezed before letting her go. “Thanks for hearing me out, Emilia. Don’t be a stranger, ok?”
“Ok.” Emilia got halfway between him and Scarlet before adding, “promise me you’ll at least think about coming. The show should be soon.”
Leaning against the open doorway, he forced a smile and gave a diplomatic response. “We’ll see. With everything that’s happened, I’m still not sure I’ll be able to go back there. But I promise I will think about it. Goodnight, Emilia. Scarlet.” He turned his back and closed the door behind him.
Emilia went through her nightly routine without saying a word. This caused Scarlet to keep a closer eye on her, once again anticipating an emotional breakdown of some sort. It was only when Emilia sat up in bed with her arms wrapped around her legs she finally spoke her thoughts aloud. “How does he do it?”
“Do what?”
“How does he carry that weight with him? He just carries on with his life without letting it hold him back.”
“I’m not sure if he gave you the same spiel but when he told me, he said that he wanted to live life as the person his sister looked up to, not the person that let her down.”
“Tsk, Talia would probably call that self-righteous BS.” Emilia hugged herself tighter. “But I have to admire how he’s handled that. I’ve treated this routine as another job so I can get to the other side of this. But what if I can’t? What if I go through what happened to you? One day I wake up screaming from the nightmare of it all.”
Scarlet sat next to Emilia and rubbed her shoulder. “Look, the best advice I could give is to take things one day at a time. You can’t let fear keep you from doing what you love. And you can always lean on your friends to help you whenever you need it. That’s always helped me.”
Beaming, Emilia leaned her head on Scarlet’s shoulder. “Thanks, Scarlet. I’m grateful I have you here with me. You’ve been so calm about all this and I need that right now. When I’m still figuring things out. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to check all the messages on my phone.”
“The wonderful thing about being a siren— at the end of the day, it’s your choice which scars you show and which you hide. No one can take that away from you, not even Talia.”
* * *
“I really think it’s ready, Talia.” One final day of rehearsals was all Emilia needed to bring her vision to life. Everyone else had left for the day, leaving the two of them in the girls’ bathroom where they removed their stage make-up. “Could you pass it on to the others to come see the show tomorrow night?”
“I’ll have Alejandro take care of it before I leave.” She deliberately avoided her line of sight, focusing on her reflection in the mirror. “Listen, Emilia,” Talia added with a clear air of caution in her tone, “if you reach tomorrow night and decide it’s too much, you can always cancel. Everyone would understand.”
She sighed, resting her hands on her hips. “Talia, you promised you would help me do this. Why do you insist on doubting me?” She rolled her eyes and returned to her reflection. “I’m not the porcelain babydoll you think I am.”
“No, it’s…” She took a moment to collect herself. “It happened to Scarlet when she wanted to do her first solo. She panicked and walked out at the last minute. I just want you to know—whatever you decide, it will be supported.”
Although not fully accepting that explanation, Emilia nodded. “I know. Scarlet still says it’s one of her biggest regrets not going through with that. But I’m not Scarlet, I’m not you, I’m not anyone but me. I have to do things my way. And right now, my way is pushing through this so I can put it behind me.” She leaned over her sink, holding tight with one hand with the other pasted to her forehead. Her breathing became more deliberate with each passing second as she shut her eyes. “I know what I went through was nothing compared to everyone else. He didn’t… but he would have if JP wasn’t there to save me. I’d been living with this for over a week to put every ounce of my pain in this routine. And when it’s done, I never want to feel this way ever again.” Her embrace with Juan Paulo flashed through her head when she found herself in the same headspace he was—feeling weak but yearning to stay strong in despite of it.
Emilia opened her eyes to Talia reaching to brace her shoulder and she immediately flinched away. “Don’t touch me!” Her ankles almost buckled under her, but she saved herself. “Look, I appreciate what you’ve done, but I’m not ready to forgive you. I still don’t know if I ever will.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud, but the whole time she walked home, Emilia could only think about how much she would’ve loved Juan Paulo to be present tomorrow night and how it was Talia’s fault if he didn’t come.
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