But this is probably the first time I'm doing it with such a crucial point in the plot.
It's the part that takes place after the number "Alejandro," which is where I got the name for one of my male leads... kinda hard to ignore something right in front of you and Lady Gaga inspired quite a few parts of my story.
The end result of this number is that Talia tells Alejandro to take a hike, that she saved up enough to buy up his share of the venue so she won't have to deal with him anymore.
Because she has been in love with Alejandro for years (and he was the biggest reason she came back at all), Amber cannot let this happen.
So they have a big fight.
I'm having two issues with it so far.
The first is figuring out what needs to be said in order to move smoothly into the next part of the story, which is towards the end.
The second is figuring out how to portray Amber and Talia.
So far, I'm finding that Amber's resolve is breaking down too easily. She's gotten super emotional and winds up blabbing all of her secrets.
Secrets this huge need to be said begrudgingly through gritted teeth. Like she knows they're the only way to get anyone on her side.
My other big issue is determining how Talia comes off in the confrontation. In my latest draft, Talia comes off like she's the villain and Amber is the victim in the situation.
Maybe I've just lost sight of why Talia is in this in the first place. Or maybe I just haven't fully grasped why she decided to get into this business.
Up until his death, she believed without question that her stepfather loved her. Whenever they had sex, it was always consensual. Therefore there can't really be instances where verbal abuse were what convinced her to sleep with him.
I can only think that years of brainwashing turned her into the person she is.
He gets into her head, having her believe he's everything she needs. And it could all be started by a boyfriend breaking up with her. He needs to instill in her that she is safest when she is in bed with him, that it's a position she doesn't want to leave.
Why she continues on with it after his death and feeling betrayed by him... all I can really think is that she doesn't have anything else going for her, doesn't come from a lot of money, didn't finish high school because he kept her sheltered. Sex is the only thing that makes her happy, makes her feel empowered.
So when I write the conversation, all I get is that Amber finally opens up about her past and Talia is trying all she can to turn a blind eye to it, saying how she brought it on herself by coming back... that she is absolute resolute in holding onto her core belief that sex is the answer.
But how much do I want to come out in this revelation? Do I really want Scarlet and Vanessa in earshot like I had?
The important points include:
- Amber being unhappy with her station in life
- Amber comes out as Carmen
- Amber loves Alejandro
- Amber is responsible for what happened to Emilia, not Alejandro
But I don't pretend I don't have my concerns.