Tuesday, December 25, 2012

"Enchanted" by a daydream

One of the gifts I asked for this year was Taylor Swift's "Wonderstruck" perfume.
It happens to be a lyric from one of my favorite songs from her Speak Now album.

I don't know how to really describe perfumes cuz I'm not into it myself. Not much of a girly-girl. But it is light, somewhat floral and just has a gorgeous scent.
I wouldn't go as far to say it fits my idea of what the name of it all means, but Taylor was the one who wrote it and knows the true meaning behind it, etc. etc.

Supposedly she wrote it for the lead singer of the band Owl City, Adam Young, and once that came out in the press, he supposedly wrote his own version of it, but instead of it being more country, it was more... I guess I could just say it sounds like it's closer to their song "Fireflies"

Which I have not heard in quite some time, radio stopped playing it over a year ago.

Moving on...

Being the romantic I am, Taylor Swift feels like one of those kindred spirits I have in music. Picking all the right words to describe a relatable situation... that is a real gift that I enjoy each time I take part in it, listening to her albums and such.

With each album, I feel like she gets more mature with what she sings about, but the artistry of the music gets better each time as well. Like the central melodies for my favorite songs from that album, "Sparks Fly" and "Enchanted" sweep me off my feet because they literally sing to me.

As great as those songs are from all angles, I have trouble figuring out the story in my own head  that I can put to the music.

I hope that they will go on to describe relationships I have in the future. Being enchanted by someone new, wanting to get to know them and that fear of the feelings not be reciporated. And being in a whirlwind relationship where all of the alarms are going off in your head, it goes against all your instincts, but as the title suggests, there's a spark there that makes it a powerful set of emotions you can't ignore.

And I'm just rattling this off the top of my head NOW. 
I love finding my own meaning in different songs (unless it's something by Prince, in which case, I try to figure out his original vision for it... I try to take myself out of the equation where I'm nothing more than an observer)

It isn't just the fact I haven't been in love or really haven't been in a legit relationship where there was a mutual attraction and all that. Usually when I listen to something, I have a certain person in mind for each occasion... some of which happen to be celebrity crushes and all that.

I find it difficult to really put anyone to fit those descriptions. Even with Mr. Downey where I'd been to the moon and back, have my own soundtrack (practically), he'd been different things to me at different times last year, but it feels forced trying to get him into the mix with these songs that I feel like I know pretty well, that know me pretty well.

Now that I think about it, "Sparks Fly" mentions someone with green eyes... the only crush I ever had that fit that description was Jesse McCartney and we're going back quite a ways.

When it comes to "Enchanted," the title fits the way I feel about the song itself. It feels like the fairytale beginning of "Love Story"... hitting it off with someone new, something too magical that you can't believe it can exist in real life. The entire song feels epic to me in that certain way where it screams a fairy tale relationship that you're so in awe of that you're almost afraid to seize it... and equally anagonized by the idea of not acting at all.

I see a huge estate. Parties are held regularly outside on the lawn. An evening outdoor gala where everyone from this rich neighborhood gets together, looking their best and all that.
Then you see someone in the crowd that you never met before.

Insecurity exists in the profiles of a lot of my protagonists and their deepest motivation is to break out of that insecurity and finding comfort in one's self. This came together coming into the  first chorus, when I fell into the shoes of the protagonist in the song. My personal touch is that when it comes to parties and social events, even around family (who I see pretty frequently as it is), I don't feel confident getting into conversations. I don't like to hang around because I feel like I have nothing to contribute to the discussion. Socially handicapped is a way I could describe it, the biggest thing holding me back from a life I could really seize and live.
At the same time, I consider that (via the philosophy of another of my female singer/songwriter role models) God created me in this mold, that I am shy and reserved as is... and it has to be for a reason. Otherwise I would have been born with a stronger drive to break out and succeed. 
Just in a general sense.

I entered the song, thinking of it being from my POV. I'm at this evening party where everyone looks amazing and I'm dressed up nice too. But I don't feel like keeping up with conversations in the crowd. Then he shows up, talks me out of this funk and I feel better... like he was the one person meant to make me feel strong enough to break away from old habits.

Cut to the 2nd verse: 
After the party, there's pacing in the bedroom after being unable to sleep that night... wondering about him.
I made another leap... where the pacing begins a dream sequence... and it includes this guy showing up at my door, taking me into a magical place that can only exist in a dream, waltzing with the same choreography (which is becoming clearer in my head, but cuz I'm not trained in ballroom or dance in general, I couldn't explain all the moves and such).

Could be tossing and turning going into the final chorus... waking up and singing the line "I was enchanted to meet you"... the rest comes in flashbacks...
then when I'm about to roll on my other side and turn off the light, the doorbell rings or there's a knock on the door and he's there... whoever he is, he shows up after all...

Originally I was thinking that, yeah, this has to end without resolution because that's kinda how the song goes. But since I'm breaking the rest of the rules anyway, why not?

I remember listening through the album a couple years ago... and it was on our way to Christmas with one of my aunts... it might have been the first time I really heard the song for what it was, a fairytale fantasy springing to life...
and there has been a handful of a times where I'd get so wrapped up in the beauty of the song that I start to cry... just impossible not to get swept up in the moment and that's pretty much all it is.

Tonight, I started to get choked up in the last 30 seconds because it was coming to the end... and just maybe, it snuck up on me ;)

Still kinda putting together how this song plays in my head, the scenes that comes to mind, who the leading man is... I might not know that until I meet him for the first time... but this is at least something.

Merry Christmas, everybody

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