Sunday, October 28, 2012

"Rescue Me" because I'm "Losing my Mind"

Both quotations are Daughtry song titles.

How I feel about certain things comes down to two parts: how good they are functionally, like they are solid in their design.... and the other part is, obviously, made of my personal biases and how much I just melt into something that I enjoy.

Maroon 5 and Daughtry are on different sides of the spectrum if we're talking musically...
or maybe they're the same...
but I melt into how much I love both of their musical catalogs for different reasons...

with Maroon 5, its mostly Adam Levine's vocals that do it for me... I knew even before I declared myself a fan that it was something special and certainly different than what I was used to... not a lot of strong falsettos and high tenors in music these days...
and occasionally I go crazy for something musically or melodically... how certain notes sound

with Daughtry, while I find Chris Daughtry's voice carthatic to the point where I feel comfortable singing to it and sometimes go beyond it (I stick by Adam Levine's range best I can)... what really wins me over is all in the solidness of his songs... not just the beginning/middle/end, but also because of chord changes... the rhythm of the drums and the vocal delivery... all of it feels so good to me... they say sound is produced by vibration, but I feel like my inner tempo vibrates to Daughtry when it comes to my favorites...

I'm sad to say none of them are singles... well, except for "Over You" which I believe to be a perfect speciman of a song with the simplicity of the design, but also because the chorus is catchy as hell... rhythmically... I can't really explain it better than that

it's either when he's shouting at the top of his register to proclaim something or even the higher range by itself without raising the volume... that's a common ingredient in my favorites aside from the core melody... to which I say he hasn't led me wrong yet, every album has that somewhere in it...
I'm golden as long as somewhere between 3-5 songs have that where I usually dont need the rest of the album ;)

I guess the word for what I tried to describe above is "Passion"... when he make those passionate proclaimations... you kinda wanna wish more guys felt so strongly that you believe them without a second thought

I am thinking... that I have a short story that I kinda want to write...
in conjunction with two things, although I'm not sure how they are going to fit together...

the Daughtry compenent are those two songs, which I love to tie together... kinda like they are two parts of one story... one being the B-side of the other and the bridge going into the final chorus of "Rescue me"... screams to me that this is the end of the album...
it has 2 songs after that and on the bonus edition, it has 4 after that... but I usually stop after 10 songs because... don't really need much more than that... the songs afterwards are good, but they don't stimulate me quite the same way

Some songs I listen to, in general, beg to have a story behind them... something that I can personally work with...
I feel that way about a couple songs by Taylor Swift, but I'm having trouble putting together pieces for "Sparks Fly" and "Enchanted"... the latter is beyond picturesque but so far my feelings and my mind haven't coincided to put something together... I think it'll take the right experience to hash that out

Strangely enough, I have had it happen a couple times... where I either have played a song on repeat so I could actually listen to it (too much background noise) or I have it on my iPod but when it gets uploaded the first time, the glitch happens where 30 seconds in, the next song downloaded begins and I hear nothing from the other song again...
those strangely become favorites without me really knowing why

"Heavy Metal Lover" was one... once on repeat, never turned back ;)

"Losing my mind" was a song I couldn't wrap my mind around for a while. I would listen to it, hear a humming of something in my head, but the connection wasn't made for a while. I got it on my iPod... felt compelled to get it reloaded on there... and after that, it just became what it has been

It comes across as very short, but its nothing short of passionate... I get overwhelmed listening to it sometimes... at the peak of emotion, especially at the end, its like... WOW... knocks the wind out of me and I can't breathe almost to the point where I can't breathe [without tearing up a bit]

The emotionality is overwhelming, but I love Chris Daughtry's pitch at that peak... and also how he ends his notes... as in, I cannot imagine it being done any other way

in conjuction with a dream I had last night, which I already see taking on a different shape than originally shown to me...

I saw the beginning, middle and end of this song... kinda like three parts of a love story...

The first verse where he says "never thought a train going any place could have changed my life"... talks about meeting this girl on a train, its love at first sight for him and the whole time he's in the city that day, she's on his mind...

I see time passing going over the chorus...
kinda like this was a chanced meeting that he doesn't want to get away from him, or he'd seen her around but hasn't had the courage to talk to her... I'm not sure...
I see one of those cheesy montages where he's walking through an old town, kinda like the old west, but without the cowboys and period costumes... kinda modernized... but obviously its deserted like some of those sets on "Glee" where there's a song playing...  time transpires so when the last night is hit, you see its nighttime

Then I had the clever idea to make it into kind of a duet, obviously putting myself in the other role, with female vocals this time around... doing the 2nd verse and doing the chorus at night heading to a park bench thats an old conventional bus stop... doing the impassioned plea seated
Which suggests that I'm the one who's seen him around, kinda where this connects to the dream I had... whoever my counterpart is, he's one of those guys I've crushed on over the years and always feel miles away from because we're from different social circles...

The bridge features a split screen... he fades in from the left... I fade in on the right... we trade off lines... we're at our different locations, at night...

we trade off impassioned pleas at the final chorus... sing "I'm losing my mind"... where I'm getting on the bus at my stop and he's running to catch the bus that's just come through his deserted town... neither is singing "I'm losing my mind" the final time... but at the height of it, he gets on the bus, we see each other and rush into a warm embrace

about as romantic as a motion picture :-P

I can see this song playing out as how me and this guy I'm into meet... and/or possibly how we get back together in the end

It's not often where I have lividly vivid dreams... so vivid where my mind is a ready participant or I can actually feel things from a multitude of angles...

my desire to see "Perks of Being a Wallflower" have rubbed off here, obviously... because in spots, I saw myself in Charlie's (Logan Lerman) shoes... where being lonely terrifies me to the point of pertification... and Sam (Emma Watson) and Patrick (Ezra Miller) are my closest friends...
I can't really distinguish who my BFF was... whether she looked like Emma Watson or not, I'm not sure... but what was clear was him...
my mind said Phillip Phillips, although I couldn't quite imagine why
my eyes said he kinda like Aaron Fisher, "Hero#1" who recently did a piece on 20/20 and released a book
my heart said it was the last guy I had a crush, that I thought be the "best friend" I would fall in love with and marry

Until I realized there was a giant plothole in my dream, the title woulda been "Baby Daddy"...
based all around the fact that, based on the relationship I have with this guy, there is no way that statement can be true... and I really don't see it coming about any other way...
The whole dream alluded to harboring this secret and finding the courage to tell him the truth...  never mind the fact I have trouble stringing a sentence together around him...

The dream kinda felt like being in a movie that was currently running... the beginning was gone so I don't know how I got "knocked up" in the dream...
there was a bit of a middle that worked on establishing the relationship between me and these two people

Alluding to this was one scene where we went out to dinner, there was a glass of red wine at my seat, that I proceeded to pour on the table in a steady stream... and I mopped up with a napkin. The looks penetrated my skull but I didn't watch their expressions... meanwhile my mind outside of the dream is asking me from the POV of reality "why didn't I just ask for a soda or something instead?"
appearances change quite a bit in another scene where my mind (outside the dream) knows I have the appearance here of Mae Whitman as she appears in "Parenthood" (which I never saw, only previews of it), but blonde... and I tell my mom when I run into her about what's going on and I think the dream ends with me finally telling him the truth... and its all good...
obviously we weren't together or it wouldn't have been this whole dilemma

Despite where my mind has been for some previous story ideas, I don't see sex being a part of this story any place... plus the obvious relationship between me and him doesn't indicate that to be a believable possibility (and I don't think I want to bring immaculate conception into a college setting... fiction is about making stuff up but you gotta at least stay within bounds of reality)

So the "Knocked up"/Baby Daddy storyline will become that combination of Daughtry song titles... in that its one of those stories about what you would do if you knew you only had a short time to live...

I don't know what kind yet, but my character's condition will be terminal illness...
the setting is a college campus somewhere in NYC. I live in the dorms while he shares an apartment with his sister, who is my BFF...

It's one of those cases I know too well... I've harbored feelings for this guy for a long time and I'm always finding reasons not to tell him... all while not knowing that he feels the same way about me... that's what the scenes I saw in the dream kinda told me where he wasn't just generous, but he was warm, kind and just about everything you could ask for in another person.

Two scenes stand out where he kinda reads my mind and what I want is compassion from him and to either feel important or included in his plans

I'm meeting up with the two of them. I'm catching up with my BFF, while aware that he's in the vicinity. A couple of times, while drowning out the conversation a bit, I'm thinking about saying something to him. I have this picture in my head of him hanging me from behind.
Then out of the blue, he approaches me, opens up his arms and I rush into them. There was such an unbelievable warmth there I couldn't believe it transcended the actual dream... that's only happened maybe a couple of times in my life...

we're talking about later, apparently the plan is to go back to his place. I ask where it is and he says its D4 on some street like Sussex or something random, but I get that its a street in the city, not on campus... and I can't put the words together that I can't get there because I don't have a car or way of getting there. But I also don't want to be without either of them for the whole night so I find myself on the verge of a meltdown, not unlike one Charlie had in the "Wallflower" book when Sam and Patrick were away for a holiday or something and he hit the bottom of his loneliness, couldn't contain it...
like in the previous scene, my ankles are buckling, but here I fall to them just into a deserted street... He then offers that I come to dinner with them

I thought about not including it, but the wine scene seemed too significant in the dream, how it was kind of a slow-motion thing, the wine pouring out...
maybe my character is dying of terminal liver or pancreatic cancer... therefore I can't drink

Things like that...

so the whole short story is agonizing over the idea of telling him that I love him before I die and its too late to do so... but of course the nervouness was unfounded cuz I felt the same way...
I'll see if I can string that together within the next couple days.
In the meantime, I'm about done working out my numbers system for ranking my top 101 movies

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