Friday, October 21, 2011

The sample art of conversation- Chapter 3

It feels like I've been working on Chapter 3 forever. This, of course, does not include the prologue, which I really don't see as a chapter. A lot of websites I have posted this story on in the past, it's the only way to go, it has to be regarded as a chapter.

So much happens in this chapter, I'm starting to think that maybe I should to break it in half. The first half takes place at school and the other half, the part giving me the most trouble, takes place in Nina's front yard.

This is the storyline up to this point, not including the prologue.
  • Nina is the new girl, goes to a new school
  • Nina meets and becomes friends with four soon-to-be cheerleaders, who immediately accept her into their group
  • Nina bumps into Jonas at lunch, devoiding her of sight and balance. Being the gentleman he is, Jonas takes her to the nurse's office to make sure she gets help
  • Nina wakes up several hours later in her own bed, under the assumption her mom came in to bring her home... still thinking about what Jonas did for her
  • Mai and the others want to know what happened-- they explain why Jonas isn't exactly what you call "ordinary"
  • Nina formally introduces herself to Jonas at lunch and they talk
Here's where I left off. At Jonas's request, Nina puts off the more pressing questions until they're alone together. Being socially self-conscious as he is, he doesn't want to be overheard and its easier to be open with the additional pressure of extra eyes on him.
I don't go into it, but I impress the fact that he used his mind-reading ability to figure out where Nina lived as well as the fact she was trying out for cheerleading.

Actually, that brings up a good point... I never formally addressed the fact he found out where she lived through that. Deep down, though, I'm not sure if he's fully aware of the fact his being disappears into the wind from time to time. It comes with the territory of being an angel in a past life and for the moment, he has no recollection of his past life.
I'll work that down right now. Jonas says "you'd make a good cheerleader" and when asked how he knew that, he could just as easily dodge the first bullet and say something about who she's been hanging out with. Then when she asks how he knew she was here, then maybe he'll have to indulge... making it a little more difficult for him to come forward for that bit of information. He's so cool and calm around Nina, saying pretty much whatever is on his mind without the fear of rejection or getting cut off rudely... but I'd like to make things a little easier.

Several topics are covered in this conversation, addressing rumors and all that. The order in which they discuss them has changed around a little because it doesn't feel right to just bring certain things out of the blue. Cause & Effect is something I need to really keep in mind here. I want to cover the following topics, not necessarily in any order:
  • Jonas discloses his psychic ability of mind-reading, which requires direct contact
  • Jonas divulges into his personal history, the reason why he keeps to himself the way he does (more or less, he can't handle heavy conversation or being around a lot of people because if he gets too stressed out, he loses control... he describes it as a barrier formed around him that forced everyone else that was close away from him)
  • Jonas kinda plays around the history he and Mai had, the fact she's making rumors all the time (this part is going to be tricky because at some point, he might start sounding like Edward Cullen... and seeing as Jonas was around a good 5 years before I started reading "Twilight" I would prefer to retain his individuality)
  • Jonas also goes into the fact he lives with his uncle, doesn't know what happened to his parents
They play with a few notions. I'd changed a few things along the way regarding the relationship between Mai & Nina. At first, Mai's rumors played a greater role, after a while Nina started believing that maybe he's a bit odd... but now, she doesn't seem at all interested in what she has to say about him. It doesn't stop her from wanting to get to know him.
Yeah, this is going to be really tricky, but I'll see what I come up with as I go back to it. It really seems like this chapter is longer than the other ones I'd written so far. And so much happens in it, I am very much tempted to break it in two... if only to make it easier to manage in the individual document

No comments:

Post a Comment