No matter how much time has passed and how many drafts later I am, it still hurts getting negative feedback on "White Tiger."
How I look forward to seeing my latest reviewer flip out when the pages disappear and there's no ending...
I think I kept my story on fictionpress so I'd have proof in that one author tried to get rich off my story... just as a bit of insurance, but it really isn't fair to be on full display when I know I'm not at my best...
Nonetheless I still feel a little self-conscious about it.
;sigh:
I'm self-conscious about a LOT of things.
But after reading and hearing some encouraging words from Zooey Deschanel, my looks might be one thing I'll be less worried about in the future.
Supposedly she wrote a letter to Vogue when she was 17, stating how they should use their platform to promote beauty instead of giving girls a picture of what "ideal beauty" should be. And saying something to the effect that girls need all the confidence they can get.
***
Having that to think about, I really hope that my story isn't construed from the wrong perspective...
It isn't as if I'm promoting or okaying prostitution as an occupation or lifestyle.
My thoughts on the subject is that life is hard and they shouldn't be reprimanded or thought of as second-class citizens.
Now, that thought pattern might not go for everyone in that business. I'm just saying that they shouldn't automatically be looked down on for living life as they do.
Why am I taking it upon myself to send that message?
I'm not entirely sure.
It's not as if I knew anyone in those shoes or I saw a movie specifically about that.
"Suckerpunch" is something I'm drawing influence from, but it isn't a direct homage..
The idea started with music. Seeing choreography to some energetic music.
Kinda putting my love of dance, my imagination when I listen to music.
Then it became about women being comfortable with their bodies and flaunting their sexuality. And building on that, it was about overcoming less than pleasant circumstances to become stronger individuals.
Gaining confidence in themselves and feeling empowered in making people happy entertaining with their varying routines.
I guess the way Talia tells it, anyone with an open mind would believe as she does.
I listed a couple of the big questions I wanted to answer about her and came up with an interesting one.
If she got so bent out of shape after what her stepfather put her family through, why does she dismiss the thought of him from her mind... yet she still hangs onto the beliefs he bestowed on her over the years...
you'd think after such a betrayal that anything he said to her would have no hold over her.
He spent all those years having her believe he loved her and what they had was perfectly all right. How she was gullible enough to believe he loved her and their relationship (physical and otherwise) was perfectly okay?
The main difference between her story and the Rasmusen twins (Scarlet & Ruby) is that her stepfather seduced her. He didn't force her into anything, he manipulated her and had her believing everything he said.
Hmm... maybe the Montiels caught up to him and rubbed him out because he'd done it a few times before...
make a family fall in love with him, take them for suckers money-wise and move on... only one of those times, he did it to someone in their family... perhaps someone whose money went into the business... either that or Talia helps out because she sees its in dire straits.
I'll have to take that done for future reference...
given their mob-like mentality, it does make a lot of sense...
I hadn't had any thoughts about Talia for a while, but the few times I had, it's me wondering why the story is about her :-P
But after listening to some Nelly Furtado, I had a few thoughts about her motivation behind why she turned to this type of business.
Then after coming to those conclusions, what did Carmen (soon to be Amber) and Scarlet think of her?
I see Scarlet being in awe of her (much the way Emilia will be when the actual story takes off), admiring her attitude about how she turned things around for herself, and wanting to follow her example.
Carmen spent a long time (not sure how long yet, whether it's a few months or years) trying to improve Scarlet's morale, but Talia somehow turns it around quickly.
She just happens to be the right person... at least that's what my thoughts are at the moment.
Carmen leaves that life and name behind under the impression Talia bewitched her best friend away from her the way she had with Alejandro...
also, after hearing her reasoning behind why she's in this business, Amber thinks she's a bit of an idiot for dealing with it the way she has.
Which brings me to the "great reveal" in Amber's life... why she truly hates the idea of prostitution.
Originally, I thought it was because she was assaulted regularly at the group home where she grew up. But her hatred stems from the fact it ruined her mom's life.
I will leave it at that. I've given too much away already.
I have this whole plot line set up where Emilia is victimized because Amber encouraged her into the risqué part of the business.
Now, the story is that Amber didn't mean for it to get as out-of-hand as it got... just that she wanted to make a point to prove to Talia that the business has its dangers and shouldn't be approached as half-hearted as she believes she does.
So I guess the message I'm sending is that I'm against the business to a certain extent. It just shouldn't be a fallback position for a long-term commitment because you don't know what might result and the list of regrets aren't worthy having to go through.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Taking Inventory of Scarlet and Ruby
Except for most weekends, I've succeeded in writing a page about one of my girls every day.
Now that things have gotten a little heavy and I might be in need of a time-jump, it's a good time to establish where I am.
As well as pose questions to myself about how to proceed next.
Because I definitely have some questions in need of answers.
But first, I have to establish how far I've come so far.
I wrote two entries from Ruby this week. It looks like she's been looking for Scarlet just as much as Scarlet has her. I keep impressing that they're twin sisters and Scarlet is the older of the two, but I've gone back and forth about which of the two is more mature.
Based on some things I've found while writing for Ruby, she might be aware of so much more. A great deal of it has to do with the fact Scarlet has told her everything or that she's easier to read when the latest episode occurs.
Ruby was threatened with secrecy. Meaning that if she told Scarlet anything she went through, Scarlet would suffer for it, leaving Ruby all alone with their father for the rest of her life.
As much as I've made my own skin crawl by writing and thinking up the things I've been, part of this feels oddly freeing. Maybe it helps to write to work through things in life that terrify me deep down. All the while, my scribbles might just be proof I need to get laid :-P
The unfortunate truth in the Rasmussen household is that their father manipulated Scarlet into making a deal with him. If she didn't fight him when he wanted her, he wouldn't go after Ruby. Yet, all that was was a ploy to get "permission" to take advantage of her when in fact, he'd been traumatizing Ruby.
Having said all that, I'm not sure if I've fully answered one of my questions. If he prefers one of the girls over the other.
Scarlet is always the one subjected to pressure, whether it's obeying every rule, maintaining top grades or making herself available when her father needs to satisfy his sexual urges. (Bleck, I feel gross even typing that). With her, the name of the game is manipulation. Having her believe she deserves what she gets and she has no other options in life.
Perhaps that's just punishment for their mother's death... how it's her fault, I still haven't figured out.
Having said that, it sounds like Ruby is nothing more than a tool in this grand scheme. She's aware that some sort of deal is going on with that... although I haven't had her imply that she's resentful about it. She just knows the deal stinks.
I've written maybe 2 or 3 pages for Ruby so far. She's currently locked in the cellar and keeping a journal so that if someone finds her there, they'll have some record of what happened and it'll put their father away for a long time... assuming he's alive when the authorities catch wind of this.
At age 7 when Scarlet was being beaten for the slightest bits of rule breaking, he started molesting Ruby, touching her inappropriately and swearing her to secrecy. She even acknowledges that she knew it was wrong, but over time, she believed his actions were normal because he said so.
She even considered the possibility that he might have tested her out to see how much her body could handle.
Fast forward to age 12 and Scarlet was raped for several consecutive days until her body hemorrhaged and couldn't handle anymore... then he turned his attention to Ruby because his needs that particular night HAD to be dealt with.
After that entry, I turned my attention back to the present. Supposing I ever take these stories the next step, I'll have to do a little more research to make my writing convincing. But a few weeks after she was found to be pregnant, she developed an infection made her miscarry.
Sure, I might have taken the easy way out on that storyline, but I couldn't ignore that scene as it was playing out in my head.
When I consider the vicious nature of what she endured, it's a little far-fetch'd that her body finally revolted after this had gone on for at least 3 years. The doctor even confirmed beforehand that she didn't have any STDs, so it had to be something else... assuming I have to make it a little more convincing if I chose to take my story beyond my eyes.
I did make a significant break-through this week with one of the key scenes in their storyline.
Listening to "Blown Away" by Carrie Underwood, I envisioned Ruby's plot to escape her living hell with her father.
She has to get access to a phone and she needs a weapon. She also needs to set up a scenario so she can get away with murder on grounds of self-defense, meaning that she needs to convince her father to assault her...
so maybe in her time in the cellar, she figured out how to have the door be unable to open from either the outside (so the cops will believe she's locked in the cellar) and the inside (to supply motive for the assault).
It and "Two Black Cadillacs" sound like they could be great for performance numbers from Scarlet and Ruby. With the latter, I see the two of them being dressed for the Paso Dablo while addressing a man strapped to a chair and they'll play out his demise in retaliation for him cheating on them with each other.
...
So, so far what I know about Ruby is that she's vastly underestimated.
Scarlet doesn't believe she'll be able to handle their father by herself.
Her father believes she's under his power and he's calling all the shots.
Ruby is perceptive and Scarlet believes she's the better actress of the two of them
Aside from how far ahead I want this time jump to be, my biggest question is:
How on Earth Scarlet is able to overcome the horrors in her past?
How is she the sweet person I know her to be when I think of her as one of Talia's closest friends?
Right now, I just don't see how she bounces back from this.
I just gotta remember to mind my timeline.
Ruby comes AFTER Talia.
Talia is vastly more mature than the other girls... so I might have to make her 21 or older when she finds about her stepfather's deceptive ways.
Meaning that Carmen must be going on 17 when Talia arrives.
And Scarlet is technically around the same age, so both of them must be 17 when Talia arrives.
Ruby needs to come at least a year later when she's 18 (and out of school).
Therefore, my time jump needs to be at least a year or two. Scarlet is still unsure, but she's better off than she was when I last left her.
...
Something else that's been bugging me... and for whatever reason I can't remember what it is... most likely it'll appear in my next posting
Now that things have gotten a little heavy and I might be in need of a time-jump, it's a good time to establish where I am.
As well as pose questions to myself about how to proceed next.
Because I definitely have some questions in need of answers.
But first, I have to establish how far I've come so far.
I wrote two entries from Ruby this week. It looks like she's been looking for Scarlet just as much as Scarlet has her. I keep impressing that they're twin sisters and Scarlet is the older of the two, but I've gone back and forth about which of the two is more mature.
Based on some things I've found while writing for Ruby, she might be aware of so much more. A great deal of it has to do with the fact Scarlet has told her everything or that she's easier to read when the latest episode occurs.
Ruby was threatened with secrecy. Meaning that if she told Scarlet anything she went through, Scarlet would suffer for it, leaving Ruby all alone with their father for the rest of her life.
As much as I've made my own skin crawl by writing and thinking up the things I've been, part of this feels oddly freeing. Maybe it helps to write to work through things in life that terrify me deep down. All the while, my scribbles might just be proof I need to get laid :-P
The unfortunate truth in the Rasmussen household is that their father manipulated Scarlet into making a deal with him. If she didn't fight him when he wanted her, he wouldn't go after Ruby. Yet, all that was was a ploy to get "permission" to take advantage of her when in fact, he'd been traumatizing Ruby.
Having said all that, I'm not sure if I've fully answered one of my questions. If he prefers one of the girls over the other.
Scarlet is always the one subjected to pressure, whether it's obeying every rule, maintaining top grades or making herself available when her father needs to satisfy his sexual urges. (Bleck, I feel gross even typing that). With her, the name of the game is manipulation. Having her believe she deserves what she gets and she has no other options in life.
Perhaps that's just punishment for their mother's death... how it's her fault, I still haven't figured out.
Having said that, it sounds like Ruby is nothing more than a tool in this grand scheme. She's aware that some sort of deal is going on with that... although I haven't had her imply that she's resentful about it. She just knows the deal stinks.
I've written maybe 2 or 3 pages for Ruby so far. She's currently locked in the cellar and keeping a journal so that if someone finds her there, they'll have some record of what happened and it'll put their father away for a long time... assuming he's alive when the authorities catch wind of this.
At age 7 when Scarlet was being beaten for the slightest bits of rule breaking, he started molesting Ruby, touching her inappropriately and swearing her to secrecy. She even acknowledges that she knew it was wrong, but over time, she believed his actions were normal because he said so.
She even considered the possibility that he might have tested her out to see how much her body could handle.
Fast forward to age 12 and Scarlet was raped for several consecutive days until her body hemorrhaged and couldn't handle anymore... then he turned his attention to Ruby because his needs that particular night HAD to be dealt with.
After that entry, I turned my attention back to the present. Supposing I ever take these stories the next step, I'll have to do a little more research to make my writing convincing. But a few weeks after she was found to be pregnant, she developed an infection made her miscarry.
Sure, I might have taken the easy way out on that storyline, but I couldn't ignore that scene as it was playing out in my head.
When I consider the vicious nature of what she endured, it's a little far-fetch'd that her body finally revolted after this had gone on for at least 3 years. The doctor even confirmed beforehand that she didn't have any STDs, so it had to be something else... assuming I have to make it a little more convincing if I chose to take my story beyond my eyes.
I did make a significant break-through this week with one of the key scenes in their storyline.
Listening to "Blown Away" by Carrie Underwood, I envisioned Ruby's plot to escape her living hell with her father.
She has to get access to a phone and she needs a weapon. She also needs to set up a scenario so she can get away with murder on grounds of self-defense, meaning that she needs to convince her father to assault her...
so maybe in her time in the cellar, she figured out how to have the door be unable to open from either the outside (so the cops will believe she's locked in the cellar) and the inside (to supply motive for the assault).
It and "Two Black Cadillacs" sound like they could be great for performance numbers from Scarlet and Ruby. With the latter, I see the two of them being dressed for the Paso Dablo while addressing a man strapped to a chair and they'll play out his demise in retaliation for him cheating on them with each other.
...
So, so far what I know about Ruby is that she's vastly underestimated.
Scarlet doesn't believe she'll be able to handle their father by herself.
Her father believes she's under his power and he's calling all the shots.
Ruby is perceptive and Scarlet believes she's the better actress of the two of them
Aside from how far ahead I want this time jump to be, my biggest question is:
How on Earth Scarlet is able to overcome the horrors in her past?
How is she the sweet person I know her to be when I think of her as one of Talia's closest friends?
Right now, I just don't see how she bounces back from this.
I just gotta remember to mind my timeline.
Ruby comes AFTER Talia.
Talia is vastly more mature than the other girls... so I might have to make her 21 or older when she finds about her stepfather's deceptive ways.
Meaning that Carmen must be going on 17 when Talia arrives.
And Scarlet is technically around the same age, so both of them must be 17 when Talia arrives.
Ruby needs to come at least a year later when she's 18 (and out of school).
Therefore, my time jump needs to be at least a year or two. Scarlet is still unsure, but she's better off than she was when I last left her.
...
Something else that's been bugging me... and for whatever reason I can't remember what it is... most likely it'll appear in my next posting
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Getting to Know Scarlet- Part 1
It's been a tough journey so far.
I'm going into things here I haven't addressed in great length before.
For some of it, I feel like I've been tapping into some of my own fears.
Then again, by the end of this, I'm sure all of the girls will reflect me in some way.
Too bad it isn't as easy professing each of them to represent a deadly sin.
The only ones that seem to come into play are... well, actually...
Amber is definitely Envy.
Talia is Pride.
As for Lust, Anger and Greed... those are harder to place because Amber represents some of those as well.
But I'm here to talk about Scarlet.
Because I didn't go into great detail about Amber's past, I feel like Scarlet had the roughest childhood of all the girls.
She got more attention from her father than her sister Ruby...
I started out in saying she got beat up when her grades slipped or she missed curfew... minor things, this abuse starting shortly after their mom died, something her father apparently blames her for (although I haven't quite figured out what the cause of death was).
Then I changed course a tiny bit. The one time (as far) where I have Ruby getting beaten is when her father finds out she has a boyfriend. "Beats her within an inch of her life" as I wrote it.
Somehow that doesn't quite fit into my scheme of things when I piece it together in my head... Ruby didn't get nearly as much attention from her father, but mainly it was because she stuck by his strict rules and was an excellent student.
Is it also pushing it that the girls are 12 when this happens? Is 12 too young to even talk about boyfriends?
...although the punishment does make sense when I write it like that.
Scarlet ends up making a deal with the devil, promising to take all of Ruby's punishments from now on and in return, she'll follow all the rules, including never to date.
This deal is sealed when he cuts her hair short when she's sleeping so no boy would ever take interest in her.
Quickly I follow this rough patch up with another one. I don't openly address women troubles in my writing... I have trouble enough writing parts of the male and female anatomy.
Scarlet hits puberty a short time after making this deal. She tries to keep it under wraps, but ultimately her father catches wind of it.
Oddly enough, he is so mindful of her cycles that he chooses when to take advantage of her for his own gratification... kinda strange, but it was either that or him slipping her birth control pills... bleck, getting into the psyche of a rapist creeps me out and I'm not even going all out with it.
But as far as I took it while writing Scarlet being pinned down against his bed and it ending with her blacking out... it goes with the territory of the type of story I'm writing, but I'm not proud of it.
After maybe three chapters of Scarlet storytelling, I went back to Amber to get her take on the events. The first chapter afterwards is when she gives Alejandro the short version...saying she's giving Scarlet a place to stay because she ran away from an unfit home... respecting her privacy as much as possible.
It ultimately becomes part of the girls' code: "It's your story to tell and it's up to you whether or not to do so".
Amber is extremely considerate and wants to be there for Scarlet... perhaps to make up for the fact nobody was there for her when she went through the horrors of her past.
It ended off the other day with a pretty scary proposition that I'm still considering whether or not I want to continue with it... for the moment, I'm still good to go.
And for the moment, I think I've established a distinct difference between Amber and Scarlet's speech patterns and how the stories are written.
Amber is more about what she sees and how she feels. Scarlet's story so far is more about flashbacks, telling about what happened to her, almost like it runs like a narrative.
Scarlet's kindness is also well established, how she thinks about other's welfare before her own. Yes, she's rattled about the fact the last time she stepped out of line with her father resulted in her becoming pregnant...
she's also not the kind of person who would take the easy way out by getting an abortion.
Personally, I'd like to have a choice in the matter (rather than leave it up to the politicians and Jesus freaks to tell me otherwise), but if I were in that kind of situation, I doubt I could go through with it.
Plus, this being set in a 2nd (even 3rd) world country, that can't be a safe procedure to go through... images from "Dirty Dancing" come to mind and there's just no way I'm taking that route.
But the biggest question is how this will resolve: will there be a miscarriage? will it be stillborn? will it be put up for adoption or will everyone present in my story beat the odds and raise it amongst themselves?
I'm sure Amber would be skeptical about the adoption situation unless she knew the baby would go to good parents (seeing as she went through hell in "the system" of parentless kids)...
geesh, maybe I should have taken the "corrupt foster system" route... to be fair, I could still go there, but only in the third act of my main story...
No matter how everything plays out, Amber will not be pleased with Ruby when she and Scarlet reunite... because Ruby will have made a habit of performing as a stripper to earn her income... and taking that further... more or less making everything Scarlet went through to protect her absolutely worthless
How much hell I'm willing to put her through to make a valid point, I'm not sure yet... either way, it's a terrifying prospect, but for the sake of telling this story, it has to be breached.
Before finishing this entry, I had another break-through that could add to the overall madness...
Ruby might, in fact, be jealous that Scarlet procured her father's attention... she never got the praise for all the hard work she did at school because Scarlet's failure to meet expectations resulted in physical abuse...
Jealous might be the wrong word, but either way, Ruby wanted her father to know she was there.
I still play around with the idea that Ruby lowered herself to that level to gain her father's affection... and maybe how she chooses to punish him (either killing him or getting him arrested) is to make sure Scarlet doesn't steal his attention away from her again.
That just might be something I'd rather imply than say upfront.
Amber's enough a handful as it is.
If anything, Ruby's greatest flaw could be that she's a sex addict for the sake of attention...
Talia could be described as a sex addict as well, but she does it in an effort to fill the hole inside of her that craves unconditional love.
How those two things not the same?
It's hard to know where to begin...
I'm going into things here I haven't addressed in great length before.
For some of it, I feel like I've been tapping into some of my own fears.
Then again, by the end of this, I'm sure all of the girls will reflect me in some way.
Too bad it isn't as easy professing each of them to represent a deadly sin.
The only ones that seem to come into play are... well, actually...
Amber is definitely Envy.
Talia is Pride.
As for Lust, Anger and Greed... those are harder to place because Amber represents some of those as well.
But I'm here to talk about Scarlet.
Because I didn't go into great detail about Amber's past, I feel like Scarlet had the roughest childhood of all the girls.
She got more attention from her father than her sister Ruby...
I started out in saying she got beat up when her grades slipped or she missed curfew... minor things, this abuse starting shortly after their mom died, something her father apparently blames her for (although I haven't quite figured out what the cause of death was).
Then I changed course a tiny bit. The one time (as far) where I have Ruby getting beaten is when her father finds out she has a boyfriend. "Beats her within an inch of her life" as I wrote it.
Somehow that doesn't quite fit into my scheme of things when I piece it together in my head... Ruby didn't get nearly as much attention from her father, but mainly it was because she stuck by his strict rules and was an excellent student.
Is it also pushing it that the girls are 12 when this happens? Is 12 too young to even talk about boyfriends?
...although the punishment does make sense when I write it like that.
Scarlet ends up making a deal with the devil, promising to take all of Ruby's punishments from now on and in return, she'll follow all the rules, including never to date.
This deal is sealed when he cuts her hair short when she's sleeping so no boy would ever take interest in her.
Quickly I follow this rough patch up with another one. I don't openly address women troubles in my writing... I have trouble enough writing parts of the male and female anatomy.
Scarlet hits puberty a short time after making this deal. She tries to keep it under wraps, but ultimately her father catches wind of it.
Oddly enough, he is so mindful of her cycles that he chooses when to take advantage of her for his own gratification... kinda strange, but it was either that or him slipping her birth control pills... bleck, getting into the psyche of a rapist creeps me out and I'm not even going all out with it.
But as far as I took it while writing Scarlet being pinned down against his bed and it ending with her blacking out... it goes with the territory of the type of story I'm writing, but I'm not proud of it.
After maybe three chapters of Scarlet storytelling, I went back to Amber to get her take on the events. The first chapter afterwards is when she gives Alejandro the short version...saying she's giving Scarlet a place to stay because she ran away from an unfit home... respecting her privacy as much as possible.
It ultimately becomes part of the girls' code: "It's your story to tell and it's up to you whether or not to do so".
Amber is extremely considerate and wants to be there for Scarlet... perhaps to make up for the fact nobody was there for her when she went through the horrors of her past.
It ended off the other day with a pretty scary proposition that I'm still considering whether or not I want to continue with it... for the moment, I'm still good to go.
And for the moment, I think I've established a distinct difference between Amber and Scarlet's speech patterns and how the stories are written.
Amber is more about what she sees and how she feels. Scarlet's story so far is more about flashbacks, telling about what happened to her, almost like it runs like a narrative.
Scarlet's kindness is also well established, how she thinks about other's welfare before her own. Yes, she's rattled about the fact the last time she stepped out of line with her father resulted in her becoming pregnant...
she's also not the kind of person who would take the easy way out by getting an abortion.
Personally, I'd like to have a choice in the matter (rather than leave it up to the politicians and Jesus freaks to tell me otherwise), but if I were in that kind of situation, I doubt I could go through with it.
Plus, this being set in a 2nd (even 3rd) world country, that can't be a safe procedure to go through... images from "Dirty Dancing" come to mind and there's just no way I'm taking that route.
But the biggest question is how this will resolve: will there be a miscarriage? will it be stillborn? will it be put up for adoption or will everyone present in my story beat the odds and raise it amongst themselves?
I'm sure Amber would be skeptical about the adoption situation unless she knew the baby would go to good parents (seeing as she went through hell in "the system" of parentless kids)...
geesh, maybe I should have taken the "corrupt foster system" route... to be fair, I could still go there, but only in the third act of my main story...
No matter how everything plays out, Amber will not be pleased with Ruby when she and Scarlet reunite... because Ruby will have made a habit of performing as a stripper to earn her income... and taking that further... more or less making everything Scarlet went through to protect her absolutely worthless
How much hell I'm willing to put her through to make a valid point, I'm not sure yet... either way, it's a terrifying prospect, but for the sake of telling this story, it has to be breached.
Before finishing this entry, I had another break-through that could add to the overall madness...
Ruby might, in fact, be jealous that Scarlet procured her father's attention... she never got the praise for all the hard work she did at school because Scarlet's failure to meet expectations resulted in physical abuse...
Jealous might be the wrong word, but either way, Ruby wanted her father to know she was there.
I still play around with the idea that Ruby lowered herself to that level to gain her father's affection... and maybe how she chooses to punish him (either killing him or getting him arrested) is to make sure Scarlet doesn't steal his attention away from her again.
That just might be something I'd rather imply than say upfront.
Amber's enough a handful as it is.
If anything, Ruby's greatest flaw could be that she's a sex addict for the sake of attention...
Talia could be described as a sex addict as well, but she does it in an effort to fill the hole inside of her that craves unconditional love.
How those two things not the same?
It's hard to know where to begin...
Friday, August 23, 2013
Getting to Know Amber- Part 2
As of this entry, I just wrote my 8th entry. I wasn't making quite enough progress in the storyline where I had a lot of findings, so I postponed this entry. Plus, there's the fact I did 2 entries in a row this time last week :-P
...I couldn't help myself, okay?
(as if I have a hugely respective fanbase TO apologize to, lol)
I've learned quite a bit about Amber over these past couple days. Have not gone a single day without writing an entry and that's the important thing. Finding the will to write every single day. I haven't been able to muster that in ages... at least outside of my blogging.
Each day, I'd fill up an entire page of notebook paper with my latest entry.
Which I'm sure is roughly 200 words a day.
I believe Stephen King recommended 2500 words a day, but I could be wrong.
I decided that because there was only so far I could take this small cast of characters, it was time to bring Scarlet into the mix.
And had a couple more "light bulb" moments.
What if... given my most recent supposition that, just maybe, only a couple girls involve themselves in prostitution (Talia, Ruby, and Amber), part of the reason why Amber dislikes Ruby has to do with what Scarlet went through while worrying about her... freaking out over the first couple days after running away that she shouldn't have left her alone with their father... and the only thanks Scarlet got for worrying was following through with what their father did to them, as if it was right for him to treat them the way he did...
and after this entry, I got to thinking my next movie should be to move over to Scarlet. Writing her story as she's telling it to Amber.
As for the previous three entries, I have the following additions:
As for Amber herself
During a hiatus in business, while "the brothers" (Amber's way of referring to the Montiels) are regrouping and trying to figure out how not to lose profits and to keep the business afloat... she tells Alejandro (for whatever reason, he is hanging out with her rather than going back to his womanizing ways... at least not right away)
While listening to Amber talk about what she's been working on with Michel and Misha, Alejandro thinks that the place could get more business if they had entertainment on site.
This does not come to pass right away, mainly because they can't afford it at the moment. The staff is being cut back as was the menu, which got cut in half.
...so for now, that's about it... up next will be going into Scarlet... hopefully I'll be able to do what I have been doing with Amber, writing every day, and it'll have a different feel so I can separate the two girls
Right now, the biggest question I have to answer is this:
-How much does their father inflict on Scarlet and Ruby? Is it 50-50, or is it more in one direction than the other?
...I couldn't help myself, okay?
(as if I have a hugely respective fanbase TO apologize to, lol)
I've learned quite a bit about Amber over these past couple days. Have not gone a single day without writing an entry and that's the important thing. Finding the will to write every single day. I haven't been able to muster that in ages... at least outside of my blogging.
Each day, I'd fill up an entire page of notebook paper with my latest entry.
Which I'm sure is roughly 200 words a day.
I believe Stephen King recommended 2500 words a day, but I could be wrong.
I decided that because there was only so far I could take this small cast of characters, it was time to bring Scarlet into the mix.
And had a couple more "light bulb" moments.
What if... given my most recent supposition that, just maybe, only a couple girls involve themselves in prostitution (Talia, Ruby, and Amber), part of the reason why Amber dislikes Ruby has to do with what Scarlet went through while worrying about her... freaking out over the first couple days after running away that she shouldn't have left her alone with their father... and the only thanks Scarlet got for worrying was following through with what their father did to them, as if it was right for him to treat them the way he did...
and after this entry, I got to thinking my next movie should be to move over to Scarlet. Writing her story as she's telling it to Amber.
As for the previous three entries, I have the following additions:
- Alejandro was "reckless" and used to sleep with a different girl every night
- Amber describes them as running together. Being "tall, blonde and skinny" and refers to them as skanks in passing (ala the narrative)
- her friends' names are Michel and Misha. They were the first waiter and bartender Alejandro hired on his hiring jag.
- He then promotes them to assistant managers, who take over for him when he's away, finishing up his schooling (I assume he's obtaining a bachelor's degree in business management or restauranturing)
- Although he isn't the best student, he started to wrap his mind around the fact he needs to become more responsible with the restaurant (as Casa de Montiel is at this point in time)
As for Amber herself
- the samba is her favorite of the dances because, to quote Anna Kendrick in "Twilight," "it makes my boobs look good"
- Dance has allowed her to feel more secure about herself, and especially her body, which used to be a source of ridicule for her
- her legs still need work, but her arms move more naturally than they had before
- after this, she gains the confidence to confess everything to the two guys, including her true age and her feelings for Alejandro
- once again, Amber proves to be a compassionate individual in times of trouble when she puts herself out there to help Scarlet when she shows up
During a hiatus in business, while "the brothers" (Amber's way of referring to the Montiels) are regrouping and trying to figure out how not to lose profits and to keep the business afloat... she tells Alejandro (for whatever reason, he is hanging out with her rather than going back to his womanizing ways... at least not right away)
While listening to Amber talk about what she's been working on with Michel and Misha, Alejandro thinks that the place could get more business if they had entertainment on site.
This does not come to pass right away, mainly because they can't afford it at the moment. The staff is being cut back as was the menu, which got cut in half.
...so for now, that's about it... up next will be going into Scarlet... hopefully I'll be able to do what I have been doing with Amber, writing every day, and it'll have a different feel so I can separate the two girls
Right now, the biggest question I have to answer is this:
-How much does their father inflict on Scarlet and Ruby? Is it 50-50, or is it more in one direction than the other?
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Animé Inspiration: Sailor Moon
I'm not sure what it is about this series, why I feel so protective of it, hate to hear it be made of fun and no matter what, determined to be faithful to it...
although my faithfulness goes as far as the third season of the original series with the original animation and voice acting cast.
Before it went over to Cartoon Network, changed all that and kinda turned into a joke. Whether it was because an American company wanted to change it and make it more solid or whatever else...
But if I'm going to be legit about this, I'll discard the third season right away in saying it was my least favorite.
As if they found an excuse to keep Serena and Darien from ending up together...
supposedly he'd been having nightmares, this voice telling him to stay away from Serena or something bad will happen to her.
On top of all that, his affection for her had been "displaced" in Rini... this obvious little girl with pink hair who supposedly came from the future to enlist the help of Sailor Moon in order to save her mom, neo-Queen Serenity, from some sort of illness or something otherwise caused by the villains.
Sure, Rini is technically Serena and Darien's future daughter and all that, and her attitude is 100% Serena, so there's karma there.
I honestly don't know what I took harder, having to deal with HER or having to deal with the break-up of Serena and Darien.
As if my entire life's happiness depended on them staying together.
It's just one of those things I guess. I know people are meant to be together so I get pissed when something comes in the way of that.
Sure, I get bent out of shape about it on "All my Children," but eventually I do make peace with some couples and other "destined" couples eventually do come back together.
So forget that part of Sailor Moon.
The first season was about coming to terms of destiny. Serena finding out she was Sailor Moon and the reincarnation of Princess Serena of the Moon Kingdom. As well as her meeting up with her fellow Sailor Scout friends, character development more or less.
The second season was mainly about Serena and Darien getting back together. The only difference is that Serena knows they're destined, but conventionally, he has to spend another season with amnesia.
The first season went a little into how he never really knew who he was, learning the extent of that, becoming Queen Beryl's slave, and losing his memory all over again after the Sailor Scouts triumphed over evil. To be fair, though, everyone lost their memories after that altercation.
Yet they all get those memories back about each other, their identities, etc. within 2 shows of the 2nd season. Why does Darien get the short end of the stick AGAIN?
Nostalgia Critic was right, that WAS a bigger tease than Jim & Pam from "The Office"... but I didn't really feel like it was a tease because I came into that show a few seasons in. So I didn't have to "suffer" through like that everyone else.
Nostalgia Critic went into how predictable and formulaic Sailor Moon was and also asked why it was so popular.
As a HUGE devotee, I really can't put my finger on it myself.
I know there are huge problems with the series, don't get me wrong. But yet, I freaking adore it.
It actually got me started with my writing. The memories of the things I loved about the show were still very strong and livid in my mind.
My favorite angle, as it seems in a lot of Japanese animation... is reincarnation. The idea of people in our time having a destiny from a previous life and coming face to face with it.
I drag that out quite a bit with Jonas... heck, it seems like everyone else (well, Nina, his horses and iguanas) know it before he does...
But regardless, I just love that.. as well as the destiny he has to find the courage to fulfill.
Sometimes I wonder if Nina should have had a place in his previous life... what happens later with her character, way later, would make a lot more sense.
The biggest critique that Sailor Moon gets is... pretty close between the recycled animation that they show every single time and the fact Serena is unreliable and unable to get herself out of trouble.
Why I find her endearing, I'm not quite sure. But I do know that I get annoyed when people undervalue her or are downright mean to her. Darien's kind of a jerk early on so it's hard to imagine them being together... at least until I found out the full extent of his character so I take that with a grain of salt because there is EVENTUALLY a pay-off.
The main perp is Raye aka Sailor Mars. Her attitude is horrible, always putting down Serena, never taking her seriously. I suppose there has to be a character like that in the Sailor Scouts, but does it have to be the one with dark hair and dark eyes like me?
I have a little more in common with Lita, but I think she has green eyes.
Mina/Sailor Venus, I don't really know all that well, but what I have seen of her, I like her a lot.
Amy/Sailor Mercury, we're both brainacs, but her IQ is off the charts, unlike mine :-P
Raye is the reason why I have the antagonist Rayven in "Jonas"... at least I gave her a little more original character than Mai, who was pretty much Mai Valentine in different surrounding and minus the Duel Monsters cards
So yeah, my love for it comes from the reincarnation angle, reliving destinies, true-destined love...
I'm a sucker for a couple that's meant to be together. I just wish there wasn't so much drama about it.
As far the so-called "fanservice" angle, the fact that all the girls are 14-15-16 and overly sexualized with the sexy Japanese schoolgirl uniforms...
I don't read into it quite as much as everyone else has. I don't care that that's there... I suppose that is there because "sex sells" as the classic saying goes.
But I take it the same way as I do with "Suckerpunch"... I swear, I thought that was going to be a hit because of how it looked... Yeah, I hate when people read into stuff so deep so to ruin it people like me trying to enjoy ourselves.
I just enjoy that kind of stuff. That's how I roll :sigh:
although my faithfulness goes as far as the third season of the original series with the original animation and voice acting cast.
Before it went over to Cartoon Network, changed all that and kinda turned into a joke. Whether it was because an American company wanted to change it and make it more solid or whatever else...
But if I'm going to be legit about this, I'll discard the third season right away in saying it was my least favorite.
As if they found an excuse to keep Serena and Darien from ending up together...
supposedly he'd been having nightmares, this voice telling him to stay away from Serena or something bad will happen to her.
On top of all that, his affection for her had been "displaced" in Rini... this obvious little girl with pink hair who supposedly came from the future to enlist the help of Sailor Moon in order to save her mom, neo-Queen Serenity, from some sort of illness or something otherwise caused by the villains.
Sure, Rini is technically Serena and Darien's future daughter and all that, and her attitude is 100% Serena, so there's karma there.
I honestly don't know what I took harder, having to deal with HER or having to deal with the break-up of Serena and Darien.
As if my entire life's happiness depended on them staying together.
It's just one of those things I guess. I know people are meant to be together so I get pissed when something comes in the way of that.
Sure, I get bent out of shape about it on "All my Children," but eventually I do make peace with some couples and other "destined" couples eventually do come back together.
So forget that part of Sailor Moon.
The first season was about coming to terms of destiny. Serena finding out she was Sailor Moon and the reincarnation of Princess Serena of the Moon Kingdom. As well as her meeting up with her fellow Sailor Scout friends, character development more or less.
The second season was mainly about Serena and Darien getting back together. The only difference is that Serena knows they're destined, but conventionally, he has to spend another season with amnesia.
The first season went a little into how he never really knew who he was, learning the extent of that, becoming Queen Beryl's slave, and losing his memory all over again after the Sailor Scouts triumphed over evil. To be fair, though, everyone lost their memories after that altercation.
Yet they all get those memories back about each other, their identities, etc. within 2 shows of the 2nd season. Why does Darien get the short end of the stick AGAIN?
Nostalgia Critic was right, that WAS a bigger tease than Jim & Pam from "The Office"... but I didn't really feel like it was a tease because I came into that show a few seasons in. So I didn't have to "suffer" through like that everyone else.
Nostalgia Critic went into how predictable and formulaic Sailor Moon was and also asked why it was so popular.
As a HUGE devotee, I really can't put my finger on it myself.
I know there are huge problems with the series, don't get me wrong. But yet, I freaking adore it.
It actually got me started with my writing. The memories of the things I loved about the show were still very strong and livid in my mind.
My favorite angle, as it seems in a lot of Japanese animation... is reincarnation. The idea of people in our time having a destiny from a previous life and coming face to face with it.
I drag that out quite a bit with Jonas... heck, it seems like everyone else (well, Nina, his horses and iguanas) know it before he does...
But regardless, I just love that.. as well as the destiny he has to find the courage to fulfill.
Sometimes I wonder if Nina should have had a place in his previous life... what happens later with her character, way later, would make a lot more sense.
The biggest critique that Sailor Moon gets is... pretty close between the recycled animation that they show every single time and the fact Serena is unreliable and unable to get herself out of trouble.
Why I find her endearing, I'm not quite sure. But I do know that I get annoyed when people undervalue her or are downright mean to her. Darien's kind of a jerk early on so it's hard to imagine them being together... at least until I found out the full extent of his character so I take that with a grain of salt because there is EVENTUALLY a pay-off.
The main perp is Raye aka Sailor Mars. Her attitude is horrible, always putting down Serena, never taking her seriously. I suppose there has to be a character like that in the Sailor Scouts, but does it have to be the one with dark hair and dark eyes like me?
I have a little more in common with Lita, but I think she has green eyes.
Mina/Sailor Venus, I don't really know all that well, but what I have seen of her, I like her a lot.
Amy/Sailor Mercury, we're both brainacs, but her IQ is off the charts, unlike mine :-P
Raye is the reason why I have the antagonist Rayven in "Jonas"... at least I gave her a little more original character than Mai, who was pretty much Mai Valentine in different surrounding and minus the Duel Monsters cards
So yeah, my love for it comes from the reincarnation angle, reliving destinies, true-destined love...
I'm a sucker for a couple that's meant to be together. I just wish there wasn't so much drama about it.
As far the so-called "fanservice" angle, the fact that all the girls are 14-15-16 and overly sexualized with the sexy Japanese schoolgirl uniforms...
I don't read into it quite as much as everyone else has. I don't care that that's there... I suppose that is there because "sex sells" as the classic saying goes.
But I take it the same way as I do with "Suckerpunch"... I swear, I thought that was going to be a hit because of how it looked... Yeah, I hate when people read into stuff so deep so to ruin it people like me trying to enjoy ourselves.
I just enjoy that kind of stuff. That's how I roll :sigh:
Friday, August 16, 2013
Getting to Know Amber- Part 1
Whatever comes first, I'll try to do one of these entries every three "journal entries" or once a week.
When I got my three composition notebooks, I'd planned on starting a short story or novella telling the back story for each of my characters (with the exception of Talia because the majority of her character arc will be the makings of "Te Busque").
I have a few questions yet to be answered about Ruby and Scarlet, so I decided it'd be easier to start with Amber.
I also have the most songs on her playlist so I have slightly more to work with, heck of a lot more than Vanessa, Ruby and Scarlet combined.
While writing today's "entry," I realized one thing:
Amber is likely the least educated of all the girls, so her language really isn't that great. She probably doesn't even know how to read or write well.
Also, initially when I started writing dialogue for her, I heard a Megan Fox type voice coming out, via her character from "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen".
But taking her background into account, she could just as easily have a ghetto/street dialect.
This is what I have so far:
While catching up with "All my children," I think I saw the perfect candidate for Alejandro. Granted, this character was someone looking for money Colby borrowed from him, so he's not a good guy.
But all that aside, the look of him was perfect. He gave me the exact vibe I was looking for, just not the same dialogue.
What struck me about him was that he had a shaved head and somehow it brought the whole look together.
So maybe Alejandro could have come from a different place when he met Talia. He might have been the type of guy who lived the high life and really didn't apply himself or give serious thought to his future... and quote "Talia made me want to be a better man so I could be good enough to be with her"... that type of thing
But given Amber's circumstances at this point, he could help her be better. Help her learn how to read and write better than she knows how so she can be a better waitress.
Right now the biggest question on my mind: what is Casa de Montiel like? What sets it apart for Amber, aside from the fact they were the only place that would hire her?
I think she'd be on board for the changes, the possibilities of making it more exciting so they'd get more people coming in, etc, etc.
But she'll be opposed to the idea when she sees the full extent of Talia's plans, but she can't bring herself to say anything about it. She just wants to be part of the team and do what she can to set herself apart and hopefully keep a balance.
This plan is thwarted when her ideas aren't quite up to par.
I'm hoping by my next entry here that I'll have answered some of the key questions.
1) who are the two guys I see her dancing with?
2) what is the relationship between her and Alejandro like?
3) how do Vanessa and Scarlet work into all this?
come to think of it,
4) how many more entries before Scarlet shows up? I'm sure Alejandro and her will need a little time to get to know each other before I bring in anyone else. She has to be there for at least a year and well established before Scarlet enters the mix
When I got my three composition notebooks, I'd planned on starting a short story or novella telling the back story for each of my characters (with the exception of Talia because the majority of her character arc will be the makings of "Te Busque").
I have a few questions yet to be answered about Ruby and Scarlet, so I decided it'd be easier to start with Amber.
I also have the most songs on her playlist so I have slightly more to work with, heck of a lot more than Vanessa, Ruby and Scarlet combined.
While writing today's "entry," I realized one thing:
Amber is likely the least educated of all the girls, so her language really isn't that great. She probably doesn't even know how to read or write well.
Also, initially when I started writing dialogue for her, I heard a Megan Fox type voice coming out, via her character from "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen".
But taking her background into account, she could just as easily have a ghetto/street dialect.
This is what I have so far:
- Amber left the group home when she was14
- I haven't figured out why the bullying happened, but I do know that the boys started being abusive when she was 10. Apparently because she "developed" earlier than the other girls...
- In getting as far from "home" as possible, she stayed the night at various shelters, mostly for women and children. She talks about being sympathetic to them... something odd, given her temperament, but deep down, just maybe it'll come into play later on
- She was rejected by the first few bars & restaurants she applied for because she was only 14... so she decided to fake her age, say she was 16 because some people thought she looked older than she was
- The Montiels took to her right away and knew of a place she could stay
- Alejandro lives down the way and "I think I'm in love with him"
While catching up with "All my children," I think I saw the perfect candidate for Alejandro. Granted, this character was someone looking for money Colby borrowed from him, so he's not a good guy.
But all that aside, the look of him was perfect. He gave me the exact vibe I was looking for, just not the same dialogue.
What struck me about him was that he had a shaved head and somehow it brought the whole look together.
So maybe Alejandro could have come from a different place when he met Talia. He might have been the type of guy who lived the high life and really didn't apply himself or give serious thought to his future... and quote "Talia made me want to be a better man so I could be good enough to be with her"... that type of thing
But given Amber's circumstances at this point, he could help her be better. Help her learn how to read and write better than she knows how so she can be a better waitress.
Right now the biggest question on my mind: what is Casa de Montiel like? What sets it apart for Amber, aside from the fact they were the only place that would hire her?
I think she'd be on board for the changes, the possibilities of making it more exciting so they'd get more people coming in, etc, etc.
But she'll be opposed to the idea when she sees the full extent of Talia's plans, but she can't bring herself to say anything about it. She just wants to be part of the team and do what she can to set herself apart and hopefully keep a balance.
This plan is thwarted when her ideas aren't quite up to par.
I'm hoping by my next entry here that I'll have answered some of the key questions.
1) who are the two guys I see her dancing with?
2) what is the relationship between her and Alejandro like?
3) how do Vanessa and Scarlet work into all this?
come to think of it,
4) how many more entries before Scarlet shows up? I'm sure Alejandro and her will need a little time to get to know each other before I bring in anyone else. She has to be there for at least a year and well established before Scarlet enters the mix
Thursday, August 8, 2013
3 [possibly 4] stories vying for my attention/ commentary of "Bleach" in its latest
The possible 4th contender is my female warrior Cassandra, her beloved Princess Kaname Snow and her best friend (and love interest) Ren...
And Cassie is somewhat responsible for my current predicament.
After my last entry, I beseeched one of my LinkedIn groups for help editing "Jonas" and getting back to me with feedback.
I have since gotten two people interested in reading his story.
During Saturday night's coverage of "Bleach," I saw a potential light at the end of the tunnel... we just might have seen the last of Sosuke Aizen.
But I'm on the edge of my seat as to whether it really does mean the end of Ichigo's career as a substitute soul reaper... seeing as his use of the final Getsuga Tencho involves the absolution of his powers...
If that's the case, have all these other side story arcs take place BEFORE this final battle royale?
Where squad 3 had a new captain who planned to overthrow the hierarchy of the soul society because head captain Momomoto killed his father?
Where an old Zanpakto caused the rebellion of all other Zanpakto and we got to know them as their own characters?
Cuz that would really suck...
so if all doesn't work out, maybe Ichigo will regain his powers when his life as a human comes to its eventual end and he departs to the soul society... where he will grow up and join the academy with hopes of making one of the 13 court guard squads?
And we're only up to episode 310... there's 56 left and a couple more series... will all those be before this as well?
So anyway, this potential defeat brought me back to Cassandra... adding a couple more pages to that spiral notebook... only to realize almost all the pages are filled.
And in the back, I had written down some ideas for the upheaval of my white tiger's story... furthering it even more from InuYasha...
After rereading them yesterday in broad daylight, I've started reconsidering it.
All of this on the heels of the fact I'd hit somewhat of a road block with "Te Busque"...
Vanessa is proving somewhat difficult to place as to what her character brings to the story... if anything at all.
I'd even played with the idea of her not existing at all. That's why my third composition notebook doesn't have her name on it yet. Unlike Scarlet & Ruby and Amber, who are much better defined.
My biggest issue is that I'm not entirely convinced that Vanessa could/should go the distance as a VIP, one of the truly exotic dancers... not just in the choreography but the extracurricular activity.
I can't seem to get her motivation to stick.
I have an idea that her situation was similar to a character from "Dead Poet's Society," but without the unfortunate suicide at the end.
(I think what I made me REALLY hate the ending was that they pinned it all on the teacher, who was the only person who truly believed in him and supported him in what he wanted to do).
Vanessa comes from a good family, but they wanted her to have a good career so she'd be better off than they were. But she goes against this because she has more interest in dancing than becoming a doctor.
It's a little tricky because I don't quite know how far to push her in her convictions. How much does she want Talia's mindset about the business to change?
Right now I'm hitting a mental block because I don't quite know what the problem is.
I'd have started on Scarlet and Ruby's back story, but there's one thing I haven't determined:
how often did their father take advantage of them? did Scarlet only get it a couple times or was it as often as Ruby? do I want play up a certain angle with Ruby where she craves the attention as well as the negativity that comes with it? is she as much a sex addict as Talia has trouble giving up the full extent of her business because she believes it's the only talent she possesses... that she does it to feel needed by other people?
How much dissention, if any, exists between Scarlet and Ruby?
Too many unanswered questions.
Amber would be easier to start with, but she comes with her own set of questions.
Why was she bullied at the group home?
Who are the two boys I imagine her dancing with to songs like "Just Dance" (Gaga) and "I'm Just Sayin'" (Karmin)? Were they also at the group home? Her only friends there? Or did she meet them as street performers who eventually taught her how to dance?
Although it was the bane of her existence at the group home, she craves attention and always wants to be number one in everyone's book.
I wrote it in my notebook "motivation: to become the most desired "siren" so she can take charge and ruin Talia's reputation"... among other things
Ruby's motivation is a little more concrete and it's realized through "Heavy Metal Lover"
- "dreaming up the most spectacular routine in ALL aspects of the show and prove to Scarlet she can handle anything
I have zero motivation for Scarlet because she's a pretty consistent, well-rounded character.
For Talia I have: "because her stepfather screwed their business (and hers) out of money, she feels responsible for keeping their club afloat. Most of her earnings go to them early on to pay debts to vendors, staff and such. Then they go to renovations, better stage shows and so on." and quote "If I thought to see him for the loser he was, he never would have a chance at ruining your business"...
I also made a note that he was a "better than swindler than business person"...
makes it sound like he's a Bernie Madoff type of character...
that might be a good angle.
...
you know it's time like these where I wonder how many people are reading this and whether I'd be better off just keeping a diary/journal of the latest thoughts in my creative process...
...
the latest with Cassandra was developing her relationship with Ren and how the princess seemed to be onto it... more perceptive about it than she is...
Cassandra is a very guarded individual with an insane drive, that sometimes goes beyond her physical capacity.
And also something about Ren making a case for another try at making the royal guard because he wanted to be nearby in case she needed him...
s
hmm... sounds kinda like Renji wanting to become Byakuya's lieutenant because he's Rukia's brother.
All I can say now is that I hope this is the end of Aizen... cuz it was absolutely ridiculous how overpowered and invincible he was this whole time... also seems kinda ridiculous that Ichigo is somehow the only person strong enough to defeat him...
because he's the son of a soul reaper and supposedly the only person who hadn't seen the power of Aizen's hypnotic Zanpakto, which has his foes seeing what he wants them to see, distorting reality itself.
I still haven't gotten over the fact Momo again was made a "casualty" of his violence.
Ever since he betrayed the soul society and her as his lieutenant, she'd been healing and trying to face facts.
Then in the first confrontation the soul reapers have with him, he's surrounded three to one and somehow manages to put her in the middle of the crossfire in his place...
yet I've given her a lot more slack than Rukia in my judgments because it feels like every time she's in battle, Rukia is overpowered by her foes... Renji's track record is only slightly better, but only slightly...
don't get me wrong, she's a great character, but I often question how powerful she really is as a soul reaper...
And Cassie is somewhat responsible for my current predicament.
After my last entry, I beseeched one of my LinkedIn groups for help editing "Jonas" and getting back to me with feedback.
I have since gotten two people interested in reading his story.
During Saturday night's coverage of "Bleach," I saw a potential light at the end of the tunnel... we just might have seen the last of Sosuke Aizen.
But I'm on the edge of my seat as to whether it really does mean the end of Ichigo's career as a substitute soul reaper... seeing as his use of the final Getsuga Tencho involves the absolution of his powers...
If that's the case, have all these other side story arcs take place BEFORE this final battle royale?
Where squad 3 had a new captain who planned to overthrow the hierarchy of the soul society because head captain Momomoto killed his father?
Where an old Zanpakto caused the rebellion of all other Zanpakto and we got to know them as their own characters?
Cuz that would really suck...
so if all doesn't work out, maybe Ichigo will regain his powers when his life as a human comes to its eventual end and he departs to the soul society... where he will grow up and join the academy with hopes of making one of the 13 court guard squads?
And we're only up to episode 310... there's 56 left and a couple more series... will all those be before this as well?
So anyway, this potential defeat brought me back to Cassandra... adding a couple more pages to that spiral notebook... only to realize almost all the pages are filled.
And in the back, I had written down some ideas for the upheaval of my white tiger's story... furthering it even more from InuYasha...
After rereading them yesterday in broad daylight, I've started reconsidering it.
All of this on the heels of the fact I'd hit somewhat of a road block with "Te Busque"...
Vanessa is proving somewhat difficult to place as to what her character brings to the story... if anything at all.
I'd even played with the idea of her not existing at all. That's why my third composition notebook doesn't have her name on it yet. Unlike Scarlet & Ruby and Amber, who are much better defined.
My biggest issue is that I'm not entirely convinced that Vanessa could/should go the distance as a VIP, one of the truly exotic dancers... not just in the choreography but the extracurricular activity.
I can't seem to get her motivation to stick.
I have an idea that her situation was similar to a character from "Dead Poet's Society," but without the unfortunate suicide at the end.
(I think what I made me REALLY hate the ending was that they pinned it all on the teacher, who was the only person who truly believed in him and supported him in what he wanted to do).
Vanessa comes from a good family, but they wanted her to have a good career so she'd be better off than they were. But she goes against this because she has more interest in dancing than becoming a doctor.
It's a little tricky because I don't quite know how far to push her in her convictions. How much does she want Talia's mindset about the business to change?
Right now I'm hitting a mental block because I don't quite know what the problem is.
I'd have started on Scarlet and Ruby's back story, but there's one thing I haven't determined:
how often did their father take advantage of them? did Scarlet only get it a couple times or was it as often as Ruby? do I want play up a certain angle with Ruby where she craves the attention as well as the negativity that comes with it? is she as much a sex addict as Talia has trouble giving up the full extent of her business because she believes it's the only talent she possesses... that she does it to feel needed by other people?
How much dissention, if any, exists between Scarlet and Ruby?
Too many unanswered questions.
Amber would be easier to start with, but she comes with her own set of questions.
Why was she bullied at the group home?
Who are the two boys I imagine her dancing with to songs like "Just Dance" (Gaga) and "I'm Just Sayin'" (Karmin)? Were they also at the group home? Her only friends there? Or did she meet them as street performers who eventually taught her how to dance?
Although it was the bane of her existence at the group home, she craves attention and always wants to be number one in everyone's book.
I wrote it in my notebook "motivation: to become the most desired "siren" so she can take charge and ruin Talia's reputation"... among other things
Ruby's motivation is a little more concrete and it's realized through "Heavy Metal Lover"
- "dreaming up the most spectacular routine in ALL aspects of the show and prove to Scarlet she can handle anything
I have zero motivation for Scarlet because she's a pretty consistent, well-rounded character.
For Talia I have: "because her stepfather screwed their business (and hers) out of money, she feels responsible for keeping their club afloat. Most of her earnings go to them early on to pay debts to vendors, staff and such. Then they go to renovations, better stage shows and so on." and quote "If I thought to see him for the loser he was, he never would have a chance at ruining your business"...
I also made a note that he was a "better than swindler than business person"...
makes it sound like he's a Bernie Madoff type of character...
that might be a good angle.
...
you know it's time like these where I wonder how many people are reading this and whether I'd be better off just keeping a diary/journal of the latest thoughts in my creative process...
...
the latest with Cassandra was developing her relationship with Ren and how the princess seemed to be onto it... more perceptive about it than she is...
Cassandra is a very guarded individual with an insane drive, that sometimes goes beyond her physical capacity.
And also something about Ren making a case for another try at making the royal guard because he wanted to be nearby in case she needed him...
s
hmm... sounds kinda like Renji wanting to become Byakuya's lieutenant because he's Rukia's brother.
All I can say now is that I hope this is the end of Aizen... cuz it was absolutely ridiculous how overpowered and invincible he was this whole time... also seems kinda ridiculous that Ichigo is somehow the only person strong enough to defeat him...
because he's the son of a soul reaper and supposedly the only person who hadn't seen the power of Aizen's hypnotic Zanpakto, which has his foes seeing what he wants them to see, distorting reality itself.
I still haven't gotten over the fact Momo again was made a "casualty" of his violence.
Ever since he betrayed the soul society and her as his lieutenant, she'd been healing and trying to face facts.
Then in the first confrontation the soul reapers have with him, he's surrounded three to one and somehow manages to put her in the middle of the crossfire in his place...
yet I've given her a lot more slack than Rukia in my judgments because it feels like every time she's in battle, Rukia is overpowered by her foes... Renji's track record is only slightly better, but only slightly...
don't get me wrong, she's a great character, but I often question how powerful she really is as a soul reaper...
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