What made Inuyasha an important archetype?

The only reason I watch Adult Swim anymore is to keep up with Bleach... within the year, even that part of my routine will be gone.

College was the first time I gave that block of animation on Cartoon Network a chance. I discovered Inuyasha along with FullMetal Alchemist (both series), Kekkaishi and Bleach...
good times...

Every now and then when I watch on Saturday night, they'll show clips of the various shows featured on the block. Whenever I see any image of Inuyasha, something inside me always reacts.
I still very much adore him and hope to find the strength and decisiveness to revamp my fanfiction turned original work inspired by him into something I can publish.

Sadly, that's a time that just seems too far away. Like Jonas, never seeing the light of day beyond my laptop. It's a combination of not having the will power and the brain power to keep going. Finding the pieces I need to fix to make it one more marketable and the other more my own creation.

When it comes to my sources of inspiration over the years, I tend to fall in love pretty easily. Within a few episodes, chapters or whatever, I know I'm in for the long haul.

Inuyasha took a little while longer. Of course, I enjoyed the storyline, that good old conflict between good and evil, the colorful cast and enchantment of the world.
But I didn't get that gut feeling until some time later. I'm not sure which episode set it off... usually I can pinpoint these things more precisely.

More or less, I found him particularly fascinating/interesting because he's not your typical leading man. Heck, he's more an anti-hero than a hero... earlier in the series, he could be seen a bad guy, but not the most devious by any means.
Up until that point, my male protagonists have been straight-forward or they have an air of mystery to them.

Inuyasha has that air of mystery too, but unlike the other guys, you had to get to know him before finding he was good deep down. I guess you could call that the "tough-guy archetype," acting tough to cover up emotional insecurities. Not an entirely new concept by any means, but the first time I fell for that archetype in a romantic sense.
Not that I see myself getting in that position in real life :-P

Somehow, it's just important to me that I explore that fully in my work in some capacity.
Romance, to me, is self-sacrifice, putting another's happiness and well-being over your own. Being there for another person through the good and bad. Helping them find themselves whether or not they know they're lost. Bringing out the best in them.

Jonas's story had quite a bit of the self-sacrifice in it as well. Nina wanted to do it for Jonas and Jonas wanted to do it because he wanted his world to be rid of evil... because as the reincarnation of an angel, it's in his makeup.

My Inuyasha fanfiction gave me the chance to do the same thing... but with my character who sacrifices herself for his happiness, since his existence saved her life.
And to top it all off, his safeguards came down in her passing. Their own relationship was kinda about that too. He saw her as an equal. She tested his patience on a number of occasions and he realized things about himself he never knew.
Well, that last part is always in my work... love allows the characters who'd otherwise been alone to flourish, to see themselves as more than how they'd been and love leads to them becoming better people.

At least all those things USED to be in my work... but for my peace of mind, I'll have these notes down for safe keeping when I feel I'm ready to return.

It's funny... I have this distinct idea of what I feel romance is... yet I've never been truly in love.

Revelations about Amber and Figuring Talia

No matter how much time has passed and how many drafts later I am, it still hurts getting negative feedback on "White Tiger."
How I look forward to seeing my latest reviewer flip out when the pages disappear and there's no ending...

I think I kept my story on fictionpress so I'd have proof in that one author tried to get rich off my story... just as a bit of insurance, but it really isn't fair to be on full display when I know I'm not at my best...
Nonetheless I still feel a little self-conscious about it.

;sigh:
I'm self-conscious about a LOT of things.

But after reading and hearing some encouraging words from Zooey Deschanel, my looks might be one thing I'll be less worried about in the future.
Supposedly she wrote a letter to Vogue when she was 17, stating how they should use their platform to promote beauty instead of giving girls a picture of what "ideal beauty" should be. And saying something to the effect that girls need all the confidence they can get.

***

Having that to think about, I really hope that my story isn't construed from the wrong perspective...
It isn't as if I'm promoting or okaying prostitution as an occupation or lifestyle.
My thoughts on the subject is that life is hard and they shouldn't be reprimanded or thought of as second-class citizens.

Now, that thought pattern might not go for everyone in that business. I'm just saying that they shouldn't automatically be looked down on for living life as they do.

Why am I taking it upon myself to send that message?
I'm not entirely sure.
It's not as if I knew anyone in those shoes or I saw a movie specifically about that.
"Suckerpunch" is something I'm drawing influence from, but it isn't a direct homage..

The idea started with music. Seeing choreography to some energetic music.
Kinda putting my love of dance, my imagination when I listen to music.
Then it became about women being comfortable with their bodies and flaunting their sexuality. And building on that, it was about overcoming less than pleasant circumstances to become stronger individuals.
Gaining confidence in themselves and feeling empowered in making people happy entertaining with their varying routines.

I guess the way Talia tells it, anyone with an open mind would believe as she does.
I listed a couple of the big questions I wanted to answer about her and came up with an interesting one.

If she got so bent out of shape after what her stepfather put her family through, why does she dismiss the thought of him from her mind... yet she still hangs onto the beliefs he bestowed on her over the years...
you'd think after such a betrayal that anything he said to her would have no hold over her.

He spent all those years having her believe he loved her and what they had was perfectly all right. How she was gullible enough to believe he loved her and their relationship (physical and otherwise) was perfectly okay?
The main difference between her story and the Rasmusen twins (Scarlet & Ruby) is that her stepfather seduced her. He didn't force her into anything, he manipulated her and had her believing everything he said.

Hmm... maybe the Montiels caught up to him and rubbed him out because he'd done it a few times before...
make a family fall in love with him, take them for suckers money-wise and move on... only one of those times, he did it to someone in their family... perhaps someone whose money went into the business... either that or Talia helps out because she sees its in dire straits.

I'll have to take that done for future reference...
given their mob-like mentality, it does make a lot of sense...

I hadn't had any thoughts about Talia for a while, but the few times I had, it's me wondering why the story is about her :-P

But after listening to some Nelly Furtado, I had a few thoughts about her motivation behind why she turned to this type of business.
Then after coming to those conclusions, what did Carmen (soon to be Amber) and Scarlet think of her?

I see Scarlet being in awe of her (much the way Emilia will be when the actual story takes off), admiring her attitude about how she turned things around for herself, and wanting to follow her example.
Carmen spent a long time (not sure how long yet, whether it's a few months or years) trying to improve Scarlet's morale, but Talia somehow turns it around quickly.
She just happens to be the right person... at least that's what my thoughts are at the moment.
Carmen leaves that life and name behind under the impression Talia bewitched her best friend away from her the way she had with Alejandro...
also, after hearing her reasoning behind why she's in this business, Amber thinks she's a bit of an idiot for dealing with it the way she has.

Which brings me to the "great reveal" in Amber's life... why she truly hates the idea of prostitution.
Originally, I thought it was because she was assaulted regularly at the group home where she grew up. But her hatred stems from the fact it ruined her mom's life.

I will leave it at that. I've given too much away already.

I have this whole plot line set up where Emilia is victimized because Amber encouraged her into the risqué part of the business.
Now, the story is that Amber didn't mean for it to get as out-of-hand as it got... just that she wanted to make a point to prove to Talia that the business has its dangers and shouldn't be approached as half-hearted as she believes she does.

So I guess the message I'm sending is that I'm against the business to a certain extent. It just shouldn't be a fallback position for a long-term commitment because you don't know what might result and the list of regrets aren't worthy having to go through.

3 [possibly 4] stories vying for my attention/ commentary of "Bleach" in its latest

The possible 4th contender is my female warrior Cassandra, her beloved Princess Kaname Snow and her best friend (and love interest) Ren...

And Cassie is somewhat responsible for my current predicament.

After my last entry, I beseeched one of my LinkedIn groups for help editing "Jonas" and getting back to me with feedback.
I have since gotten two people interested in reading his story.

During Saturday night's coverage of "Bleach," I saw a potential light at the end of the tunnel... we just might have seen the last of Sosuke Aizen.
But I'm on the edge of my seat as to whether it really does mean the end of Ichigo's career as a substitute soul reaper... seeing as his use of the final Getsuga Tencho involves the absolution of his powers...

If that's the case, have all these other side story arcs take place BEFORE this final battle royale?
Where squad 3 had a new captain who planned to overthrow the hierarchy of the soul society because head captain Momomoto killed his father?
Where an old Zanpakto caused the rebellion of all other Zanpakto and we got to know them as their own characters?

Cuz that would really suck...
so if all doesn't work out, maybe Ichigo will regain his powers when his life as a human comes to its eventual end and he departs to the soul society... where he will grow up and join the academy with hopes of making one of the 13 court guard squads?

And we're only up to episode 310... there's 56 left and a couple more series... will all those be before this as well?

So anyway, this potential defeat brought me back to Cassandra... adding a couple more pages to that spiral notebook... only to realize almost all the pages are filled.
And in the back, I had written down some ideas for the upheaval of my white tiger's story... furthering it even more from InuYasha...

After rereading them yesterday in broad daylight, I've started reconsidering it.

All of this on the heels of the fact I'd hit somewhat of a road block with "Te Busque"...
Vanessa is proving somewhat difficult to place as to what her character brings to the story... if anything at all.

I'd even played with the idea of her not existing at all. That's why my third composition notebook doesn't have her name on it yet. Unlike Scarlet & Ruby and Amber, who are much better defined.

My biggest issue is that I'm not entirely convinced that Vanessa could/should go the distance as a VIP, one of the truly exotic dancers... not just in the choreography but the extracurricular activity.
I can't seem to get her motivation to stick.

I have an idea that her situation was similar to a character from "Dead Poet's Society," but without the unfortunate suicide at the end.
(I think what I made me REALLY hate the ending was that they pinned it all on the teacher, who was the only person who truly believed in him and supported him in what he wanted to do).

Vanessa comes from a good family, but they wanted her to have a good career so she'd be better off than they were. But she goes against this because she has more interest in dancing than becoming a doctor.
It's a little tricky because I don't quite know how far to push her in her convictions. How much does she want Talia's mindset about the business to change?

Right now I'm hitting a mental block because I don't quite know what the problem is.

I'd have started on Scarlet and Ruby's back story, but there's one thing I haven't determined:
how often did their father take advantage of them? did Scarlet only get it a couple times or was it as often as Ruby? do I want play up a certain angle with Ruby where she craves the attention as well as the negativity that comes with it? is she as much a sex addict as Talia has trouble giving up the full extent of her business because she believes it's the only talent she possesses... that she does it to feel needed by other people?

How much dissention, if any, exists between Scarlet and Ruby?

Too many unanswered questions.

Amber would be easier to start with, but she comes with her own set of questions.
Why was she bullied at the group home?
Who are the two boys I imagine her dancing with to songs like "Just Dance" (Gaga) and "I'm Just Sayin'" (Karmin)? Were they also at the group home? Her only friends there? Or did she meet them as street performers who eventually taught her how to dance?

Although it was the bane of her existence at the group home, she craves attention and always wants to be number one in everyone's book.
I wrote it in my notebook "motivation: to become the most desired "siren" so she can take charge and ruin Talia's reputation"... among other things

Ruby's motivation is a little more concrete and it's realized through "Heavy Metal Lover"
- "dreaming up the most spectacular routine in ALL aspects of the show and prove to Scarlet she can handle anything

I have zero motivation for Scarlet because she's a pretty consistent, well-rounded character.

For Talia I have: "because her stepfather screwed their business (and hers) out of money, she feels responsible for keeping their club afloat. Most of her earnings go to them early on to pay debts to vendors, staff and such. Then they go to renovations, better stage shows and so on." and quote "If I thought to see him for the loser he was, he never would have a chance at ruining your business"...

I also made a note that he was a "better than swindler than business person"...
makes it sound like he's a Bernie Madoff type of character...
that might be a  good angle.

...
you know it's time like these where I wonder how many people are reading this and whether I'd be better off just keeping a diary/journal of the latest thoughts in my creative process...

...
the latest with Cassandra was developing her relationship with Ren and how the princess seemed to be onto it... more perceptive about it than she is...
Cassandra is a very guarded individual with an insane drive, that sometimes goes beyond her physical capacity.
And also something about Ren making a case for another try at making the royal guard because he wanted to be nearby in case she needed him...
s
hmm... sounds kinda like Renji wanting to become Byakuya's lieutenant because he's Rukia's brother.

All I can say now is that I hope this is the end of Aizen... cuz it was absolutely ridiculous how overpowered and invincible he was this whole time... also seems kinda ridiculous that Ichigo is somehow the only person strong enough to defeat him...
because he's the son of a soul reaper and supposedly the only person who hadn't seen the power of Aizen's hypnotic Zanpakto, which has his foes seeing what he wants them to see, distorting reality itself.

I still haven't gotten over the fact Momo again was made a "casualty" of his violence.
Ever since he betrayed the soul society and her as his lieutenant, she'd been healing and trying to face facts.
Then in the first confrontation the soul reapers have with him, he's surrounded three to one and somehow manages to put her in the middle of the crossfire in his place...

yet I've given her a lot more slack than Rukia in my judgments because it feels like every time she's in battle, Rukia is overpowered by her foes... Renji's track record is only slightly better, but only slightly...
don't get me wrong, she's a great character, but I often question how powerful she really is as a soul reaper...

Ex-Nay on the Wishing for [Infinite] Wishes

Thinking about the stack of stories I'd written throughout high school and college, the sad realization that none of them are ready for publication...
makes me wish I had a magical genie.

But as everyone knows, you can't wish for--

1) someone to get the axe

... unless of course you happen to live in a mob family, in which case, they'll have whoever you wanna whack sleeping with the fishes in no time.

2) so-and-so to fall in love with you or someone else

...perhaps because love can't happen spontaneously outside the realm of "love at first sight" and it's a tight race to figure out what'll be solved first: how to create true, everlasting love or finding the meaning of life

3) someone to be brought back from the dead

...anyone who's watched Adult Swim in the past decade knows of the series "FullMetal Alchemist" where part of the plot is exploring what happens when people ARE brought back from the dead. You can gather all the elements that make up the human body, but the soul cannot be recreated. As a result, the product of the transmutation is an incomplete humanoid creature known as a homunculus, most of which have infinite life and unstoppable power

With genies (unless you count Barbara Eden's Jeanie), you only get three wishes. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds, and you can't wish for more wishes.

Right now I wouldn't wish for more wishes... I'd wish for infinite writing time :-P
the Earth stops spinning and life everywhere else but in my own realm of infinity pauses entirely...

It'd be helluva lot more helpful (not to mention REALISTIC) to find someone willing to read through my old work and give me advice on how to proceed.
Earlier, I started to consider what I'd do with my stories if I had the time... where would I focus my attention? What would I adjust? 

In doing so, I'll rustle up five examples:

• Jonas's Story
• Orion's Story
• Rebel Diana
• White Tiger Princess
• Hope in Alaska

Jonas

No matter how many times I edit this story I'm dying to be published to begin my writing career... I just can't seem to hack it. Deep down, I know all of its pieces don't quite fit.
I'd love to get someone to look at him, someone to tell me that his story is worth telling. Because I'd invested a lot of time and effort (and I'm not just talking blog entries here), I want to see it through to the end with him. I want to do it right- getting an agent to sponsor him and get me to the best possible publishing house so his book cover will be everywhere books are sold. Putting him on Amazon as a CreateSpace publication just doesn't feel good enough to get the word out... and I'd hate to make a mistake of putting him in a place where he doesn't get the attention he deserves.

Methods include:

• writing character sketches (done some of that already)
• in a rewrite, list all of the key events that happen in sentences
• start the story on Nina's first day of school, thereby skipping the prologue (that I've heard agents pass on in general) and the possible comparisons to the beginning of "Spirited Away"... which was a key part of the inspiration
• too many that I can't narrow down anymore to list

Orion

I wrote his story a couple months after finishing Jonas. He was intended as a "companion piece" or a "distant cousin" because he was a reincarnation as well... went through several, actually... but the logic isn't quite sound, seeming as I have a key plot point where he's lost at sea on a snorkeling excursion when I describe him as being wheel-chair bound... like, how negligent can people be? Then again, this trip is in Cancun, Mexico

Methods include:

• ex-nay on the lengthy prologue (I wanted to do a Greek mythology theme to it, but it seems inaccurate that Zeus could mistakenly create Orion as the wrong species... not just once, but twice...)
• double-check my logic and do more research
• cut down on some of the melodrama... gets rather repetitive

Rebel Diana

I'd give a lot of thought to what I could do with this story, which has a lot of ME in there. She's a high school senior whose insecurities have lead to the creation of another personality... not quite as malevolent as something from "One life to live"... but ultimately becomes detrimental to whatever social life she procures in taking over... 

Methods include:

• staying truer to the source of inspiration, going so far as to include song lyrics in the story itself (I'd begun that process, but haven't been back to it in ages)
• new angle- she's giving a concert at a small intimate venue (kinda like a coffee shop, but not as laid-back) where her songs draw back to the high school experiences, and it ending when she reunites with the guy, who came to see her set
• ...I had a third thing and forgot it

White Tiger

Probably the second most talked about project on this blog (although "Te Busque" is slowly catching up).

I had a break through a few months ago, but haven't pursued it much since then.

Methods include:

• breaking the story into three part, the first being all in flashback, the second with the training and the third part as the climax
• putting as much as distance from the source material as I can manage without losing direction entirely (to spare copyright battles later)

Hope in Alaska

Not sure if I mentioned this that often. I wrote this story all by long-hand... over two and a half note pads... the last thing I did was start a "track changes" version where I question how much I need to say, what to length and what to shorten... 

• Continue that process before doing anything else, also;
• Make things a little more cohesive and fewer "surprises"-- points I suddenly raise out of nowhere just for the sake of one dramatic moment

...

meanwhile, I'm continuing my brainstorming sessions with "Te Busque" where I'm getting new ideas all the time... but I'd like to have all of my pieces ready before I actually write... what I'd most like to do is write at least 20 pages for each girl about their backstories and such so I can refer to that later.

A Writer's Frustration: Much Ado about Prologues

It goes without saying that breaking into publishing is not an easy thing.
I've had all kinds of difficulties attributing to it and almost always, it's my ego and confidence that takes the biggest hit.

Regarding "Jonas," I must have sent a dozen queries and gotten half those replies back. 
An associate that worked with Stephenie Meyer's agent, he told me that the submission pile is so huge that I'm not likely to get a reply. That's one of the few things I really went through the trouble to make my query letter sound great because I actually knew this person and what her material was and so on.

After that, it's nothing but generic BS:
"not the right fit"
"we do not feel strongly enough about it to move forward"

the most thoughtful reply I got was: "I'm afraid I was just not hooked enough to want to ask for more. "

That at least gave me something to work with.
Naturally, this is not enough time in the day for anyone to give specifics about the rejections, if they bother to formally send them at all. I get that.

But how does one break into this business if you're not told how to improve?

In my inbox today, I got an article from one of my writer's subscriptions and it was on Agent Pet Peeve. Some of it I knew already. 
Agents want to be hooked right away and want to read more to see what happens. They don't want a lot of exposition to start something. They want it to be believable and for us not to fall until clichés.

It's when they attacked one of my go-to methods when I really lost my mind and sanity for a good 5 minutes.

I almost hate to say it, but Jonas's greatest strength IS his prologue, his origin story. I've worked with the first couple chapters, trying to add more to Nina, what she's like before she goes into uncharted waters... a brand new high school.
I meant for her to be a blank canvas that girls who read about her can see a little of themselves in her, so I really didn't give her too much definition. This is going to sound really bad, but I'm wracking my brain to figure out what I have defined about her aside from shoulder-length blonde hair and hazel eyes.

I'd been away from the project for so much. Right now, I just plain exhausted trying to think about it. Makes me want to quit moving forward.

Rejection is a very taxing thing, especially when I'm scrambling trying to revise what I think is leading me wrong. 

I refuse to believe that NO agent will take me simply because I start with a prologue. It's a backstory, an origin story of Jonas and the adversary he was summoned to defeat. That is the best part of my story for quite some time and my hope has always been that people will be so wowed by it that they'll continue forward with Nina, while being curious as to how that story fits into the grand scheme of things.

Sure, my prologue is long enough to be a chapter onto itself, but I really fail to see the sense in that. Chapter 1 taking place EONS ago, and Chapter 2 takes place in the present... the distance between the two points is so vast, how does that work other than having the backstory being in prologue?

Shortly after replying tearfully to that post, I thought about Harry Potter.
To be technical, the first chapter takes place 10 years before the story actually begins, with Harry on the verge of turning 11.
That transition ran fine. So technically, I guess I could turn the prologue into chapter 1... but it sounds much less epic... I hate even considering that idea.

Whenever I'm setting up a romantasy backstory with my characters, I need the prologue.
Orion, who I originally intended to be a distant cousin of Jonas, was reincarnated a number of times before his spirit took on the form it was meant to take. The first few scenes were inspired by the Greek mythology-inspired segment from Fantasia.
Then Orion, after being a faun and a centaur became this human who'd been wheel-chair bound since he was 3, finds his calling as a merman, something that happens completely by accident, but turns out to be the right form for him to take.

Although I find it a little ironic now, looking back, that Zeus made so many mistakes creating him and picking the forms for him to take... he's THE god of Greek Mythology, he doesn't make mistakes... unless of course you take his promiscuity into account... 

Chihiro's backstory is even longer... and I'd been considering toying around with it...
I'd just had very little brainpower to really work on my writing at all. I'd been so busy rereading some of short projects, reliving this and that. 

It's frustrating and even more exhausting... I'm still very exhausted right now and I really don't know why that is... that I want to be a writer, to make a living as a writer, really haven't aspired to anything else aside from getting published, and I'd been stuck in this rut for a very long time. 

At least when it comes to my movie blog, I have some to go back to every week. While I'm still going through this list of my favorites, I still have something going on.

Maybe the thing I'm frustrated with the most right now is I feel like my voice isn't being heard by anyone but the people closest to me. My friends and family know how much I want to pursue this and so on, but my voice is not being heard by anyone that can help me achieve much of anything. 
I'd been semi-active on Twitter, but nobody replies to me on anything, even when I'm paying all kinds of compliments. 
Sometimes I want nothing more to scream to all the people whose attention I'm trying to get:
"Acknowledge me, dammit!!" 

I realize it comes off really rude, I shouldn't be so pushy, etc, but I'm just frustrated right now.

I don't want to hear that agents hate prologues... it's the best storytelling/exposition device I have, and if I can't take that route, I really don't have much else I can do to get anyone's attention.

[possibly] a new beginning for my "White Tiger"

For a number of reasons, and I'm sure I'm not the only writer who has thought/said this, I am hesitant to share what I write. Blogging is one thing where I can just go on and on about a topic. So what? It's a blog. I have very few friends and know few people, so few individuals I know will see what I write. Little risk is involved.
But it's an entirely different story (literally, cuz we're talking about lit, opposed to something that would be contrused as a memoir/journal). Maybe I'm worried that people won't "get" where I'm coming from. This sounds totally silly, considering how sensitive I can be of people's opinions of me, but I feel protective of my characters. I'm afraid others won't see them the way I do, so as much as I want to get out there, I shield them from prying eyes.

And naturally I'm hesitant to share this because this particular story/project was stolen once before. I could say, the more time goes by, the more I can believe that this person isn't a convincing identity thief type that would stop at nothing to have my work for themselves. 

I wrote the following over yesterday, between the morning and night hours... with the time in between being devoted to being at a family function. And so far, I have good feeling about this:

“What are you all doing in here?” The barrage of whispered confusion surrounding me immediately stopped. Their attention shifted to the new arrival, giving him away as their leader. His footsteps pounded into the cave, easily breaking through its renewed silence. Meanwhile, I fought to stave off unconsciousness and opened my eyes. Something about his voice was familiar somehow, but I couldn’t remember where I’d heard it.

Despite my instincts demanding I change my mind, I locked eyes with him. The highly decorated tiger gasped, but unlike so many others I had met these past several months, he seemed taken aback. I struggled to breathe, but even that proved to be too much. I coughed, gasping for air.

“Let me through!” The clan made way for him as he knelt beside me. His eyes never left mine as his hands examined me. The bruises on my arms and legs protested his touch, however gentle it was. He cupped my cheek after I managed a more substantial breath.

As if afraid to break his concentration, a voice within the clan hesitatingly asked. “Kohaku, do you know her?”

Kohaku kissed my forehead, staying in place for several moments. When he broke contact, he answered with a question he posed to me. “Chihiro…” My ears fluttered at the sound of my name. Nobody had called me by it in a very long time. Kohaku delicately took me into his arms. His body rose and fell with a sigh of unimaginable relief. “She is my goddaughter, the heir to my sister’s clan.”

Unintelligible conversation erupted once again. The same tiger responded on behalf of the rest of the group. “Kirakotsu had a daughter?”

He turned his head to face her. “After observing her countenance, do you understand why I kept her existence a secret?” Although he continued to address his followers, his focus was entirely on me as he cradled my head. “White tigers are extremely rare as are such individuals in other races. No one quite knows why this inflection occurs, but it is almost always seen in a negative light. No matter what the motives may be, that prejudice is why Chihiro likely spent months fighting for her life.” Kohaku traced the side of my neck in search of a pulse. When he found it, he nodded and dropped his voice to a whisper, “Chihiro, I need you to stay with me, all right? Everything is going to be fine from now on. I promise.” Whether it was relief or weakness, I couldn’t be sure. But at that precise moment, my consciousness slipped away.

However foolish it seemed, given my recent history, I believed him. Conflict rushed through his veins, pangs of anger and sadness—all for my benefit. Meanwhile, his calm gaze never wavered, as if to say he wanted his strength to become my strength. Little by little, Kohaku nursed me back to health. Fish stew came three times a day and he always made sure I had more than he did. At night, he kept me warm with several blankets. More were added as the winter months grew harsher.

But getting me to speak again proved to be his most difficult task. Not a day went by without him asking me once to tell him what I went through to get there. He did everything to reason with me. He assured me repeatedly that nobody in his clan, him included, would dream of hurting me. Likewise, nobody would track me down to retaliate for my confessions.

Then over three months later, Kohaku gave me a piece of advice that changed my mind: “It will help to talk about it with someone because it will give you closure. Having closure will give you the chance to move on from the pain and the hurt you went through.” 

I couldn’t help but agree, but one thing still troubled me. I swallowed, clearing my throat. “When I got here… what you said about me… the fact I am so rare…Have you ever come across anyone else like me? Not just our kind?”

“No, I haven’t, Chihiro.” Clearly, he was still getting over the fact I finally spoke. He managed to contain his joy and his composure relaxed. “Why do you ask?”

At this point, there was no going back. I had to tell him. I had to tell him about the white wolf. Even a year later, I still believed my encounter with him saved my life—despite the fact I saved his that very same night.

I don't know how much feedback I'm going to get, but this is here in case anyone is interested. 

I want to maintain first person POV, seeing as this is Chihiro's tale to tell. Part of me is worried that I didn't show enough or tell enough from her POV. Most of what I have is dialogue, which often saves me the trouble of having to go into great detail about stuff. 
I'd written a couple versions of this premise already with her being in various conditions. Here in particular, it isn't necessarily as dire as it had been in the past. She's on the brink of starvation, battered and still carries the bruises inflicted by her own kind... some simply because her appearance marks her as an outcast. Maintaining a little mystery is good, but hopefully this isn't so sparse that anyone who reads feels like they need more detail. 

But I will be going into plenty detail later, so it's not like there will be millions of unanswered questions... if anything, there should be less than 10. That's most desireable in this case. 

It's strange. I'd written a number of scenarios, what feels like, millions of times over. I know my characters extremely well... ok, maybe just Chihiro and Kohaku, who dominate my experimental files. But it's a matter of figuring out the choice of words I want to use to describe the situation. The one in particular I wish I could develop more is why exactly she can't speak... I barely even highlighted that fact in my passage. I just wrote in passing that she hadn't spoken since she arrived and perhaps hasn't in several months.
If I were to guess, it would be at least three months before finding Kohaku, right after this growth spurt occurs. The idea is put into her head that simply speaking results in unnecessary violence and quite simply, she's experienced substantial drama. Heck, I could have made the argument that finding her mother's dead body after the massacre was such a shock, it robbed her of speech, perhaps forever. But I think the story would be severly lacking in some spots early on if she didn't speak at all.

One thing I'd kinda noticed about my writing as of late is how I'd been keeping things neat and orderly. I'd tried to use different types of sentence structures and a fresh set of vocubulary so I don't repeat all the same words and phrases all the time.
And I think one of my other projects, which happens to be grounded in non-fiction, is where it all began. I want it to have a sense of professionalism, so I'm upholding off all these standards.
Now I can't seem to turn it off despite the fact I hadn't worked on it in months :-P

I'm also guessing part of me is keeping a lot in mind because I don't want my weekly email subscriptions to writer's digest to go to waste. 

As for where I'm planning to go after this:
Chihiro will tell Kohaku about when she first learned about the war, one last conversation she had with Kirakotsu before she went into battle. And of course the encounter with Lucas... the all important scene that gives her motivation to succeed in her goal: to find a new home where she can serve the purpose she was groomed for by her mother. 

Without that encounter, she would have given up right then and there. Either she'd have died of starvation or would have fallen victim to the first enemy she met. 

All the while, I'd like to keep the following in mind: Lucas is the spark that drives Chihiro forward, but I don't want this part of the story to be oversaturated with the mention of his name. Would it be possible to do that without making it seem like it comes out of nowhere in her next dire moment of need? He can't be the one thing propelling her forward. I also don't want anyone who reads to see his name pop up 20-30 pages later and wondering a) who was he again? and/or b) where did he come from? 
Then again his name will be mentioned in the synopsis, so I don't think that'll be a huge issue. 

Man, rejection has me feel annoyed with myself when it comes to making sure everything hits their mark just right.

Anyway, anyone who reads, feel free to leave feedback and I'll see what more I can come up with in the meantime. 

White Tiger: Toying with Biology and Flashbacks

Probably the worst feeling in the world when it comes to writing anything... whether it's writing the first draft, starting a brand new project or beginning again with a brand new draft... staring at the page and realizing that that "strong opening line" isn't coming to mind.

There are few things more important to a story than having a strong first sentence. Because that's what keeps the reader reading. Whether it addresses a person, what a person is feeling or what, there has to be a reaction like:
"Why does s/he feel that way? I have to read more to figure this out."
"Whoa! You've got my attention. What's going to happen next?"

With this story, my first draft began with a lot of exposition. A couple of years after I wrote it, looking back at it, it felt phony to me to start with "My name is..." 
The latest draft I did, which is going back to 2011, was a bit more dramatic: "Mother was worried. Something is coming." 

Now that's a beginning that could get a heart to skip a beat. I could keep going with that, but there's also the question of what I do next. I wrote a little bit of exposition to explain the kind of world this story takes place in, a little bit about tiger clan hierarchy, Chihiro's mixed heritage. The question that follows up in my head is: how long should I drag this out before going back to the first sentence? Followed by: Should I bother with the exposition at all? 

Because I really don't feel confident with "throwing away" my drafts, I know I'm going to have that information somewhere where I can pull it out if needed. If one thing comes up a lot in the querying process, it's the hook, snagging an agent's attention, especially if their submission guidelines include the first couple chapters/pages of the story. There has to be enough there for them to want to keep reading.

So while I work to answer those questions, I've moved onto another idea, a temporary Plan B:
Restarting the story in a completely different way-- we're at the penultimate event of Part 1; Chihiro finds her second home with her uncle/godfather. And while she's recovering, she retells the story of the journey she took to get there. 

But I hit another brick wall: Where to begin, with her arriving there or with her recovering there.
Obviously I need a clear head for all this and my eyes starting to go a little bit as I'm typing up this entry... it's not going to happen tonight. 

Last night I started on one of my badly timed brainstorming sessions. As soon as my head hits the pillow for me to go to sleep, my mind starts cranking out ideas, and I'm too comfortable to roll out of bed, grab my notebook and write it all down.
Once again, I started playing around with the idea of Chihiro being a white tiger because of a genetic mutation that only affects a handful of individuals, rather than playing around with man and beast consummating. But given the kind of realm this is, nobody will know what genetics is. When members of a species are born with white fur and blue eyes, they either believe it's a bad omen (because they don't understand why this difference exists) or it gives away a bond of dirty blood (royal bloodlines mixing with common folk) or, an even more ancient belief (adultery).

The other week, I determined that the cause of the massacre that destroyed Chihiro's way of life was nothing short of jealousy. Her mother had several suitors and she picked none of them in favor of someone else entirely. 
Heck, I could build up the fact that Silas, the eventual villain, vowed revenge because her refusal of him was an embarrassment to his entire clan and a blow to his reputation.

Chihiro's father could have been a nomad passing through and came across her mother in a time of need. She opens up to him about her predicament, marrying someone from another clan so they can bring their families together. But none of them feel about humans the way she does. They have been at peace in her region since she came into power and she didn't want to damage that trust. Slowly but surely the two fall in love, she decides she is strong enough to have no need of marriage. "You live your life and we'll continue to live as we have for a number of years." 

The one snag is whether Chihiro's feelings for Lucas are believable. Surely if I take the inter species relationship out of the picture, the idea of man-beast hybrids, members of different races can't fall in love because they obviously cannot reproduce.
But in my weird, twisted universe, I can technically make up whatever the hell I want to fit my situations. 
This could easily be something that can have the story go full circle. Kirakotsu chose love over fulfilling a "duty" to her species. Ultimately Chihiro makes the same choice, choosing to give her life for Lucas, forsaking the duty she'd worked so hard to be ready for... her goal throughout this story should be taking her place as the heir of her mother's people and wanting to be at her absolute best to do that duty to its fullest. Throughout her training and journey with Lucas, a shift starts to happen.
Providing a balance to everything is definitely going to be key here. 

Which just leaves the question of Lucas. Is his parentage similar? Did his father (his pack's alpha) consummate with an omega from another pack? Should his story remain the same it's always been? He and Chihiro developed a bond earlier on because their personal histories have similarities. 
Technically speaking, I guess Lucas could still be a bastard son because he came to be out of wedlock. And his mother, if she isn't human, could have human sympathies the way Chihiro's mother does with the human villages bordering her territory. Their relationship begins with his father's intrigue about human life and why this she-wolf allies herself with them.

All of these are ideas that need to be developed further, but I think I might have a foundation to work with.
The one thing that is for certain is that Chihiro's mother had immense trust and regard for the human race and for them to declare a war that results in an all-out slaughter... such a thing could only have been stirred up by dark magic. Which Silas only had recently perfected his craft in.

That is an important thing for me to bear in mind after all of this goes down. Chihiro's newfound distrust/fear of humans, as a result of this, leads to being caught between a rock and a hard place. Not feeling confident in seeking their help when, at times, they seem willing to offer it. And the hard place, of course, is being outcast by her own kind... which can only escalate from bad to worse. With humans, it'll fluctuate, but an uneasiness will always remain in some small way.

Brainstorming Part 1 of "White Tiger"

This is a tentative title that I will most likely be changing... at least to relieve my conscious of being plagued by the fact someone stole my story and tried to profit from it... not that I'd been losing sleep over it, but until this venture ends in a success story, it's going to bother me, if only for a little bit.

I'd been scribbling a couple of things in my notebook and have been coming up for a few ideas here and there for what I can do to make this story... fuller... I guess is a good word for it.

I decided that I was going to break the story into three parts, three parts of the story of this one character... who she dealt with adversity, overcame it, found love and sacrificed herself for it... 
Quite a bit of part 2 isn't going to change at all... if there are any changes, it will be omissions, particularly of conversations... not just taking out one or two people, but the repetition that, after a while, I just couldn't stomach... you know things are bad when you're a drama queen and that particular trait has you annoyed with yourself

Until now, I've, quite simply, skipped over explaining this part of the story entirely... all I'd written were that beatings from her kind were frequent, being ostracized was the norm, a fear of humans still linger despite the fact encountering them involved the few moments where the comforts of home were provided... food, water, shelter and a warm place to sleep...

Other than that, the only two solid events were meeting Lucas and finally finding a new home with her godfather... I simply skipped past all that because I didn't know what I could possibly add.

What I ended up with was a new use for the name "Silas" and seeds of doubt being planted that involve the only way of life she knew... 
albeit, it's a little dark... not to mention malicious...
It goes without saying that half-breeds are outcasts and being half-human entails not being able to belong among the race of the parent who raised you... so some violence will result from that... the degree of said violence ranges from bad to horrific... and there are only a handful of individuals that would participate in the horrific... 

When I was doing the initial work up of the logistics of this world I've created, I decided that the following things were given:

• Tigers are relatively peaceful, non-confrontational race in the "if you leave us alone, we'll leave you alone" school of thought
• Because of this supposed war that erupted between these two races, there are few tigers left
• Kirakotsu (Chihiro's mother) was one of the most powerful members of her race and greatly respected

As I'd worked through trying to map out how human interaction varies from interaction with her own race, I'd found a few road blocks...

If there are so few tigers left and humans are more fearful than violent, how she not only end up on the brink of starvation, but broken?

That would have to mean that some of the things she had grown up knowing prove to be false. The race is scattered and however many are left are extremely good about covering their tracks, assuring that their way of life is unable to be found by anyone outside of their own.

The end result is that she manages to track down a number of clans... somewhere between 8-10 along her journey, just to throw out a number... but she is unwelcome based on her parentage... once or twice, violence occurs in retaliation, fearing that humans might use her to track them down with or without her knowledge...

As she dwells further down this road, she learns more about her mother's relation to their race. Learns that she and her family were outcast simply based on her actions to consort with a human. Also learns that she had several suitors interested in her, all of which were infuriated when she chose a human over all of them... they don't find this out for several years because, as a general rule, "tigers are extremely good at hiding if they don't want to be found." 

On top of that, I added another "general rule" that, when I really thought about it, I found a lot of sense in...
Tigers are a race that believe in soul mates... once they find a mate, they are unable to [completely] fall in love with anyone else... it doesn't matter if the distance is in miles or life & death... once they pick someone to love, they will never have eyes for anyone else...
This also goes on to explain why Chihiro feels so strongly about Lucas... the mere idea of him dying being so unbearable that she'd rather die so he can live...

Eventually, she manages to cross paths with these former suitors... I think only one of them has a solidified territory... the others are part of nomad parties that travel around the region without settling down... I suppose there is a kind of poetic symmetry to this...

Chihiro's clan was predominately female... meaning almost all of her family was female... I don't know why, but I have trouble imagining any males being part of it... and yeah, I'm aware that in nature, tigers are solitary by nature and my model is closer to the lioness structure, this was never meant to be completely anatomically correct.

These nomad parties are made up of males... which goes on to explain why a select few individuals treat her in the way that they do... heck, their mentality is likely no sharper than that of a frat house... at least one of these parties shares that degree of mob mentality...

I should make it clear, though, that I DO NOT believe that all fraternities are made up of guys that want nothing more in life than to drink and get laid... sometimes when it comes to cheating spouses and such, I hate the increasingly viable fact that men seem genetically programmed to be that way... and that's more or less where I'm coming from with this.

The evidence starts to pile up little by little throughout this, eventually explaining to Chihiro why her mother wasn't as respected as she was raised to believe... 

part of me is still trying to determine whether or not to take some liberties with her age... it originally started with her being 9 and then I changed it to 11... playing out some scenarios, I had her going through an unexpected growth spirit in this time she's wandering... 

if I make her too old, she might seem ridiculously naive. Taking the plot this route, the idea being pounded into her skull (and the rest of her body) that Kirakotsu wasn't thought very highly of, and by extension, her life was worthless... I can't make her too old because there's no way she'd believe it.

Part of me is also leery about her being too young. Unless it's the way of the animal, there's no way I can have a huge growth spurt. The other way for that to happen is for her to be on the run for years... and with all the factors, there's no way she could make it past a couple of months.

I had a few late bursts of inspiration before I went to bed and also a couple after I laid down. In one of my random "alternate/deleted" scenes, she encountered a handful of individuals that trashed Kirakotsu's reputation... it's a given that she is on the offensive to protect her honor, only to pay the price.

It'd be cool if I could use some of that for the story, but I'd have to change the setting where this all takes place... otherwise, she wouldn't think to trespass into one of a series of caves to get out of a storm, where she happens upon her godfather's clan.

There's a natural progression that has to take place where it goes from bad to worse... oddly, the few bright spots that come into part one... other than the "bookends" of the journey, is when she's in the company of humans.

They're kinder as she goes further north, most likely because the aligning villages are in good standing with Kohaku... he has a great attitude about alliances and allegiances and such... as I will go into later

Humans originally start shooing her away. In the first case, one wants to go after her, thinking she'll lead others to them, but another in the group talks him out of it on the mere fact she most likely doesn't belong to anyone... some see her and out of pity, leave food out for her... only a handful invite her to talk with them, but by this point, they're doing most of the talking

The climax to this part comes down to Silas... who was to be Kirakotsu's life partner until she found love elsewhere... as a result, he "curses" (not in the literal sense) her family and wants to be sure they pay for whatever they may have done... humiliation, shame or just being turned down... and he has the powers of sorcery on his side...
symmetry again... Lucas has his adversary in Ivan... the same race, but its pure blood vs. half blood... Chihiro & Silas, same thing... 

By the time she does encounter him, she's close to the end of her rope... battered and bruised, both physically and mentally... although all of the dialogue will be available for the reader to see, she will attain none of it, falling in and out of consciousness... oddly enough, the one thing that saves her from him bewitching her mind to the point of torture is this powerful memory she has of Lucas... apparently he's unable to trifle with "true love"... or whatever pish-posh I wanna throw in for the benefit of the story... her heart is her strongest weapon in this and even though for a while it might not seem that way to the reader, her being a strong individual, hopefully I can bring that point across... 

It becomes clear that he has targeted her for a reason, bringing several of the nomads to do his bidding... getting his final revenge on Kirakotsu for spurning his affections by breaking her only daughter's spirit... 

Everything does connect later on... but it'll be an 11th hour thing when she finds out why the massacre happened, why her family was killed... that's reserved for Part 3 in the biggest of climaxes.

At the moment, I'm determining whether or not it'll make sense to bring Lucas into the narrative at that particularly important moment... before that, not really mentioning him again... because if I do, I might end up doing it excessively and I'd rather my readers not get bored in her pining for him... that's all of Part 2, lol

There's a decent chunk of time until he actually comes back INTO the picture... 

after Silas leaves her for dead, she makes her way to her final resting place... which becomes her new home... and the rest of Part 1 is about Kohaku picking up the pieces and building her back up... faith in family, which takes her a little while to accept...
along the way, he acquaints her with a neighboring wolf pack, whose leader is on his last legs and he thought she should get to know his successor...
Sandy doesn't make an official appearance until much later... ;) I liked him a little too much to take him completely out of the picture and I'm confident I know him well enough as a character that he's not going to become the Jacob of this story...

some of the circumstances echo "Twilight" in an eerie sort of way... 

while on that subject, I want to aim for part 1 to be a minimum of 20 pages... which is roughly how long "Twilight" was before Bella & Edward met for the first time...
not that I'm hinging the whole story on the same things, but I'd like to keep a certain few things in mind when it comes to how long these things are... 

I'd love for Part 1 to be 50 pages... then part 2 would be 100 and part 3 to be another 50... that would bring me to 200 pages... dream scenario... everything matches up the way I want it to and the grand total is 300+ pages

that would be just be incredible.

(to that end, my final Twilight reference for the entry... that book is 498 pages... I'm a LONG time away from 500 pages... so I'd like to at least manage 200 solid pages first... then shoot for 300)...

I guess the biggest key to all this is finding a sense of balance to the story... between how many pages each part is, to how many times "Lucas" comes into the conversation in part 1... I've got plenty of ideas down here all ready and hopefully soon, I can get this thing started.

The most important thing is for the morale of my character to be just right with the believability intact... how will these experiences shape her perceptions about people and life? 
I've already kinda figured that her fear of humans is a moot point, given that there were some pleasant encounters towards the end... maybe her initial fear of Bastian at the first meeting is because he know magic and at Silas's hand & will, she only knows the negatives about it... 

Although that might be a good reason why Kirakotsu didn't pursue him with any interest, he could have been dabbling even all that time again... I just know the dude has a major grudge and there's nothing he won't do to exact his revenge.

Returning from a Revisit: WTF was I thinking?

I'm sure we'd all come across that thought a number of times in our writing careers. I know that sometimes I can so monotonous and repetitious in my writing. But I had no idea that I was this bad.

One thing that gets under my skin whenever I read through submission guidelines is when they say they're looking for a certain word count. Or they're looking for this many pages. I've written much less than this in recent years, but the furthest I can get is just over 100. One day I'd love to peak at 200+ pages, and something like 200,000 words... heck, I'd love enough material for 400-500 pages, and it's all concise and stuff.

Recently I'd been reading "Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters" and noted how it's more character-driven. And plot is very slow to come across at some points. Usually the characters are discussing their relationships and such. Of course I know Jane Austen is one for exposition and length and all that.
But I don't necessarily want to be that kind of writer.

Having the comparison just made it easier for me to come to my conclusion:
I have such OCD when I write that I have cover all my bases. If my protagonist experiences something, either physically or mentally, s/he has to tell the other characters everything in her head.
But if the same stuff is repeating over and over, it gets pretty annoying.

I just spent the past couple days re-reading through "White Tiger"... it was my latest draft, which I stopped rewriting about halfway through and kinda, you know, stopped working on.
I loved the direction I was going on in too.

I'm pretty big on prologues and back stories in general and I'd love to keep my lengthy introduction to this story. But the main critique I'd gotten is that my prologues run too long and they should be considered part of the story starting with chapter 1.
That was another weird thing about this story: I never had designated chapters... my increments were always in lengths of time... so technically, I guess I could have Part 1, 2 and 3, but they'd have to be similar lengths.

If I do that, it's pretty obvious to me that the "meat" of the story will be part 2.
Supposing I stretch out my prologue until it can stand alone as its own entity, I'd have to write a bunch of story I never wanted to bother with.
That was my main issue with maintaining continuity and such. Whenever I didn't feel like writing about certain trials and tribulations, I keep the time stamps that range anywhere from a couple days, a week, to two months. Then in a few spots, 10 years and 2 years.

I'm also afraid that if I length my prologue, it's gonna get too dark and stay too dark for too long. And if it does get severely dark, it has to be a smooth transition to the next part. Meaning that it doesn't get too light right away.

It'd severely ironic of me to say I hate writing dark stuff when I actually do dabble in that frequently. I'd written a number of scenes off the record that stand as a testament how much I put Chihiro through over these years.
Doubtful I can use any of that because most of it is rewriting the same scenario repeatedly but the circumstances change.

Geesh... bar none, I can be really shitty to my protagonists and the stuff I put them through. It started with my fanfiction and progressed into original thought... and that was before I started watching "All My Children," my one & only soap.
The first original idea I had started with a session of health class where the question was why teens are driven to suicide.
Throughout my high school career, we received word of at least 5 suicides. We received the print-out in homeroom, where it explains what happens and that there is counseling stuff on site for anyone who needs. There was only one time where I knew the person. She was in my biology class and I had concert choir with her one year. I'd tell the story of what happened, but I'd be inaccurate and it wouldn't do her justice. We weren't particularly close, but a lot of people in the drama and choir programs were close with her.

For the sake of argument, my protagonist, like me, was very conscious about their grades and it was that pressure that they put on themselves that eventually drove them over the edge. But on top of that, I threw in all kinds of crap, whether his parents were going through a divorce, he was physically abused by his mother's new boyfriend... either way, he kept all that hurt inside and that's how it came to pass.
But of course, it was a failed attempt thwarted by his friends, to whom he never confessed anything to but they suspected something was wrong. Then he doubted his self-worth so much that when he got sick, he refused the antibiotics that would have made him better. Until he finally decides that he has something to live for.

The way I write about my characters sometimes makes me believe that I ought to be cited for literary abuse... I need to learn, if I do go down that path, to put as much as is NECESSARY for the plot... there's a point where it just gets excessive.

The one thing a lot of my characters seem to have in common with me is that they suffer from lack of self-confidence. And they sometimes have trouble speaking their mind about things. I have no trouble confessing to a computer screen, but forget it when it's actually asking for help or bringing something up verbally.

Jamie's lack of confidence... and it didn't start out that way... all this crap kept happening to him until he just gave up and cut himself.

Chihiro's lack of confidence eventually results in her giving her life for someone she loves because she believes "he can make a bigger difference in this world than I ever will" even if it means abandoning the duty she'd worked the entire story to get ready for.

Aside from repeating the thoughts I came across in narrative in dialogue to my characters, just to prove a point or make sure they knew everything I did... my biggest issue that I kept coming across was Chihiro tearing herself down, believing she isn't good enough.
Heck, she cried so much throughout this it almost felt like she'd give the protagonist of "Perks of Being a Wallflower" a run for his money... she was constantly apologetic if she didn't do things quite right or, in the case of one plot point, trying to kill the person she's in love with when she was under a spell the entire time.

I think it got to a point where I started to thinking that she's so pessimistic all the time that my readers aren't going to fall in love with her or want to continue reading to see how things are going to end.
Of course I've given away the ending a number of times throughout this that there's really no point.

I gotta find that ultimate ending believable. Taking a romantic rival out of the mix makes the romance a little more plausible, but at the same time, I cannot repeat the notion of sacrificing for love and the happiness of another person. So that's one element I need to eliminate...
this might be a good story to work on analyzing cause and effect.

I've been working with the idea for a different kind of antagonist... to make up for the elimination of the 2nd villain I borrowed from the InuYasha universe... someone from Chihiro's race. Possibly with a vendetta against her family because her mother rejected him and his proposition to merge their clans. The impasse was reached because he doesn't tolerate the human race the way she does.

So I have another way of orchestrating the first crucial plot point: Chihiro was sheltered from the outside world and its distrust/hatred of people like her, who have a half-human heritage... so few exist to begin with because of this predjuice.
Presumably, the humans declared war on her race, and her mother has no choice but to take action... which results in a bloody massacre. So Chihiro has no choice but to navigate this world on her own, an endeavour that proves very difficult.

I guess it could be good to add is that she has to find her only relative, her godfather... something that takes her a little while to figure out... for a time, she is wandering aimlessly in search of another clan to call her own where she might one day rule... although I'm not sure when to bring up that point because whenever it's mentioned, it puts the momentum back into the plot, drives it again.
I'd also considered the possibility of delaying the first time she comes in contact with Lucas. It's deciding the lesser of two evils: if I bring him up too soon, the memory of him might be in the mix too little or too much, if I bring him up too late, there could be issues there too.

The next thing I'll probably do, aside from the cause & effect outline, making sure all the bits and pieces of my storyline have relevance and work towards a goal... I'll go thru track changes and such, take out filler, remove characters and include a few notes to keep in mind.

cuz if I go anywhere further about those things here, this entry's never gonna end :-P