Much ado about Iguanas and guardianship

Whoa... can I just say that my mind is completely blown?
I mean, yeah, I know I should have done the research like... YEARS ago when I started writing this. I'm not sure what I was watching. I think it was the first Ace Ventura movie... there were a couple of iguanas in that movie and they were pretty big. So much so that I started to panic a bit.
The only research I really did was seeing how long they lived because that question came up. I don't know why that's even relevant. I mean, with the horses, I guess it kinda makes sense. Establishing the age between them, with Rain being the oldest, Thunder in the middle and Windy being the youngest (explaining the fact she's very coy and has an energetic personality... phew, I haven't used that word in a long time. Though I'd forgotten how to spell it). Can't spell relevance to save my life.

I am so glad that I decided to do this... finally. Because other than, yeah go figure. I have no experience with any of these animals, but I did do my research with the horses more than I did for these two characters. One of which becomes extremely important to a certain plot twist.

Well, anyway... long story short... I was checking out Google Images to see if I could find a few candidates. As it turns out, wow I consider myself so lucky that everything worked out this way, aside from your common green iguana, there are other colors available. Two of which are ones I definitely needed for the plot to work, but I didn't think I'd get this lucky.

There are actually albino iguanas that look just like this. Wow, he's a beauty.
And maybe for Scorch, I was thinking about something like this (he's on the right)

Or better yet... just so I don't have to write about this huge age gap between the two

Ain't he a beauty?

Okay, I sound too overly pleased with myself. But I can't help it. I simply had no idea... yeah, goes to show that I really haven't done a lot of research. I usually don't have to sort to that cuz I'm so good at making stuff up. But I'd printed out just a few little things about iguana care.

The only thing is maybe.. I'll have to rewrite/rethink my introduction scene with the two of them.

Another thing is that I'm trying to really work on the whole situation between Jonas and Peter because I got really concerned writing it a couple nights ago. Kinda shell-shocked and been afraid to go back ever since. I have a feeling that I went too far in the other direction, so instead of Jonas being angry and somewhat moody, he's become the exact opposite, dejected and almost on the verge of having one of his panic attacks.
Sure, he's a little embarrassed and ashamed of his living situation... not knowing what happened to his parents, but I dunno... I just can't help but think he and Peter have a really good relationship. There's just this really intangible integer that's been buzzing around my head that I can't quite touch up on.

The story goes like this:
in the somewhat dramatic, literary fashion, Jonas was left on Peter's doorstep 13 years ago... I admit when I wrote this that Harry Potter's origin story kinda came to mind and I may have borrowed from that. But it's not like J.K. Rowling was the first and only person to do this.
It really doesn't make sense, especially the fact that Jonas's parents have mysteriously disappeared... not leaving so much as a last name... which is REALLY strange. Then again, none of my characters have last names, so that's almost like an inside joke, isn't it?

Peter doesn't know how or why, but somehow Jonas was on his doorstep... okay, that really doesn't make a huge amount of sense. Why his house of all the houses? Did their car stop in the middle of nowhere and it so happens that nobody was residing in what would become Nina's house... oh wait, maybe the house wasn't even built yet... maybe that's where they lived... I wanted to keep it as mysterious as possible so I really didn't care to elaborate at any point... whichever way it becomes clear to Jonas what happened to his parents... on Christmas no less... it's really hard to explain and it really pushes the envelope just a little bit, unless of course it's not the only incident of this: touching something and through that, seeing into the past or something like that. I DON'T KNOW.

Certainly if I don't find it believable, I doubt anyone else will. Now if anyone can get through my whole prologue about reincarnation and whatnot, I doubt too much else is going to rattle them too much... that and the whole "psychic abilities" thing that Jonas deals with when social anxiety flares up.

Speaking of flaring up, I don't know what is with me today, but I'm not feeling good. I think something I did or didn't do yesterday is giving me an ulcer... the same old story "denying and staying far out," except now I know what to call it... just that.

I think the thing is that I'm very unsure as to what to make of this relationship... it is freaking me out to say the least.

So get past the whole thing of how the two of them came together.
huh... would it be a little extreme if I said Jonas's birthday happened to coincide with Christmas day? I mean, he was an angel in his previous life and had been the one summoned to relinquish the current embodiment of evil... but I don't know. It's one thing that I wrote about the story beginning in the very distant past... I think my timeline unnerved one of my friends, who happened to be the inspiration for Jonas's pale blue eyes, his most distinguishing feature.... I think I had it listed as the first chapter dating 66 million years later... as if the angel and evil sorcerer were around just after the dinosaurs were just destroyed...by the sorcerer himself... yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.
But it's another to somewhat make Jonas synonymous with... what the hell, people are born on Christmas and Christmas eve all the time... it doesn't mean that they're the second coming or anything like that...

I just came up with a brilliant idea, corresponding to all this.
Supposing Jonas turns... I dunno... 14 going on 15... what's so significant about him turning 15?
on Christmas... or Christmas eve or whatever...
either way you look at it, whether Peter just got a reply from the FBI after several years of trying to find out about Jonas's parents, or this idea... he has the worst timing in the world because Jonas was having a great holiday/birthday and this bomb drops on him

Here's what I have in mind, though.
Peter Bronson is Jonas's guardian (his uncle for all intensive purposes when it comes to Nina's parents... and I'm not sure how far I'm willing to stretch that anymore). He operates a lot behind the scenes, knowing what's going on with Jonas getting struck by lightning on a conspicuous basis, and somehow... well, not really somehow... it doesn't have to be explained really, but he knows a lot more about Jonas's destiny that people give him credit for... he's very observant about things but doesn't readily ask Jonas about them because he respects his privacy and all that. He's merely there to provide for him and to support him no matter what it comes down to.

The story is more or less going back and forth between Nina and Jonas's POV... with it being in 3rd person. I'm just saying that the story follows them around, showing what they're seeing and experiencing... therefore we don't see their classmates or their parents/guardian unless they're in the same room. But from my POV as the writer, I have that planned out that... I guess saying he's the 12th man on the field... like the crowd is at a football game, they don't directly influence the action that takes place, just creating an atmosphere and cheering their team on.

The one thing that Jonas... well, maybe not that one thing, because there are a lot of things about him that he doesn't know... but the biggest unanswered question is where he came from, as in his parents and what they were like.
My idea is that when Jonas turns 15, Peter offers an explanation... I believe it's something he said that he'd tell him when he was ready, whenever he asked... what gets him believing that Jonas is ready at this age can just come down to the fact his destiny is upon him and the information might be helpful to him.
Supposedly, after he found Jonas on his doorstep, once he found a suitable sitter for a couple hours, he reported Jonas to the police, asking if anything came up recently about... well, anything in relation to his parents and what happened to them. A few DNA tests are run because the authorities or whoever was in charge suspected that his parents were recent burn victims that were found maybe a few yards away from the residence... I'm just trying to figure out where the bodies were found, like what the most logical location would be... too near or too far away from the residence would be pushing it just a little bit, not to mention if they were anywhere near Nina's or Jonas's... maybe one neck of the woods somewhere where a bunch of the trees burned and never completely recovered from... that might be the most logical location.

Anyway, someone stops by the house to report his findings, giving a envelope full of information about it. Peter decides that all of it must be kept secret from Jonas until he's old enough to handle the loss and understand it.

I just have a lot of trouble, at the moment, depicting Nina and Peter's first meeting when she stops by the house. What kind of conversation do they have? How far can I push the envelope (coincidingly, Jonas) without things (him) bending too far in one direction? It has to be handled very carefully because I want him to be sympathetic, but the same one-tier countenance that he has. Showing too much emotion too early bugs the hell out of me and I surely can't see it being believable, should I go that route.

After that, though, I have another idea about how to introduce the two iguanas. Jonas has two terrariums in his bedroom because the two of them are obviously too big to be in the same cage. Meaning I can't just have him bringing this terrarium downstairs with him.
He comes down the staircase with Sparky on his arm. Right now, I'm picturing it and its almost comical that he comes off this way, as if its no big deal that there's this huge lizard that's about as big as his arm hanging onto it. He leans towards Nina, asking if she'd like to pet him and of course, yes... this scene doesn't last too long. Maybe he brings down a lettuce leaf or something for him to munch while he explains where they came from. Both of them, he found at Spring Lake, but Scorch arrived a little more recently. He then proceeds to show Nina a picture of Scorch rather than taking the care to bring him down also or asking her to come upstairs... that's a little too foreward.

Anyway, he says that Scorch can sometimes get into moods where he doesn't want to be touched... like he could come down the stairs with his thumb wrapped up because he bit him or whatever. The moods have been a bit more frequent lately so he uses extra caution during feeding time... and also he maybe doesn't want to scare Nina away too easily.

Yeah, once I get that first conversation off the ground, everything else should fall into place nicely.

My Romantasy Portfolio [part 1]

This has been one of the crazier weeks I'd had as far as my writing and my subconsicous.
Everything kicking off with probably one of the strangest, out of sorts dreams I'd ever had... and the first to deserve an R-rating.

Pretty insane stuff... no nudity cuz I shirk about it in real life, but let's say there was a lot of "adult content"... an impending sex scene, but my subconscious wasn't "generous" enough to keep the focus on that particular detail... before things got super racy and hot, it had been all done already.
Wow... I'd come such a long way as to what I'm comfortable with in the past year, particularly when it comes to my writing, testing the waters... but maybe it's a little demented, a little sad, that I have no experience in relationships aside from this one guy who asked me out through Facebook and let's just say the feelings weren't mutual... yet I'd written some racy stuff recently. It's a good exercise for me, but nothing I feel comfortable with anyone seeing just yet... unless they're my closest friends that I trust to open myself up to (maybe 3 people).

Anyway, after seeing a couple of posts about stuff on Writer's Digest forums, I decided that I was going to go through all the stories I'd written... note the ones that fall into the category of my so-called "specialty"... Romantasy was my thing when I was between high school and college, not so much now. Trying to break into the real world has made it difficult to create fantasies other than ones that involve a few certain celebrities as my muses.
And pretty much noting next to each one how good they are (as in how much editing needs to be done), how publishable they are (if people who read them will enjoy them as well), what they're about (obviously) and so on, so forth.

I'd had a couple of glasses of wine tonight, so I'm a little intoxicated at the moment... nothing super serious, but have a little bit of a headache. I'll try to make this a entry a quickie.

[temporary title] 4 years
genre: teenage angst/drama
questionable content: depression, domestic abuse, suicide attempt
I wrote this starting October of '02 with two sources of inspiration: my research of the soap "All my Children" (which I later became a die-hard fan of until the very end), specifically JR Chandler as a teenager, and a teen's suicide at my school plus reasons that would drive me to the same extremes if it were me.
It was one of the few, if not the only story, I outlined beforehand. Using JR's checkered history as a weak guideline (the only elements that made it to 'print' were his appearance, the divorce of his parents- which his mom being the one cheating, and just his overall troubled psyche), I added bits and pieces of events that'd happen during the course of the years.
There were conflicts between him and his older (of 2) stepbrother(s) [bullying], him and his mother (kinda the same friction that occurred between JR and Dixie after she cheated with David Hayward, but I didn't have a full grasp of what their relationship was like until watching the show), him and his stepdad [domestic abuse], and within himself...
His brother going away to college was a catalyst that started all of this, which is kinda strange... as if Sean was the only reason why his and Jamie's parents were together this long...
The stepbrother relationship was pretty weak, I admit... with his stepmom being very one-sided about the whole thing (taking Jamie's side instead of her own son's... that's kinda of a red flag too).
The stepdad was abusive because he had a very hardcore attitude, wanted to mold Jamie into what he thought a man should be, including getting on his case about his grades... which obviously started slipping because the abuse made it difficult for him to concentrate...
At the time, grades were a pretty difficult/stressful thing for me and once or twice, I rather wouldn't exist anymore than fail.

The tragic flaw of the whole story was that I put so much emphasis, so much time into putting together the ultimate 'suicide attempt' scene and all of the mental psycho-babble that followed. There were a lot of scenes that were otherwise put together but had no real flow to them... I found them boring to write that I dreaded having to reread them, and you know how they say that if you're not enjoying your work, nobody else will.
I tried to change things so it'd be a first person narrative... Jamie being at a group therapy session as part of his senior project, but it's almost all narration... he just took over the whole session, telling them his life's story... and there's almost no objection from the other people he's in the session with.
There are a million ways to just redo the whole thing... considering how much "Less than Zero" affected me, I could turn him into a drug addict and he nearly dies from an overdose... but I'd already kinda visited that territory already in another story. I don't think I can revisit that area again without completely losing my mind.

What I could do is just make it a novella/short story where there's the majority of the focus is on the climax.
It's all very up in the air. I'd had to just leave it hanging like this with me more or less regretting how I'd treated this material. I guess it got really warped when I was trying to plug the holes so people wouldn't think I'm super depressed cuz how else would I have written something like this? And it is depressing, but there is truth in its message.
Teenage suicide or suicide in general is not something to be taken lightly...
the new title could be (4 years later... the anatomy of teenage suicide)

Nina & the Voice in the Wind (aka: Jonas's story)genre: YA romantasy
"fantas"tic content: reincarnation, magic, sorcerery, pegasuses, dragons, physical embodiments of nature's elements

This blog has more or less been constructed to promote and start a platform for this story in particular. THE one story I must see published first. For more information, see the previous entries.
Current pitfall is trying to map out the relationships between my characters... I've been thinking lately that Jonas's overreaction to the reiteration of the fact he doesn't know what happened to his parents... that might be a little too much for this particular scene... I don't think he has it in his personality, but then again, he needs to have some fight in him about SOMETHING. I might have made him a little too nice :-P

Orion & The Ocean Odyssesy (aka: Orion's story)genre: YA fantasy (with a few hints of romance)
magical content: reincarnation, fauns, centaurs, Greek gods & goddesses, telepathy, sea dragons, mermaids

I haven't discussed this story too much at all, if not ever on this blog. I haven't modified the document since 2005, but I may have read it once within the last 3 years. I have the feeling that over time, the neglect has really shown. I'm probably gonna look back on it and think a lot of is UBER-cheesy.

Orion is a soul that has been through a couple of lives already. He was a faun in his first life and as they're a weak species, he didn't live past his 10th year. With the aid of Athena and Aphrodite, Zeus reincarnates Orion as a centaur. In this life, he falls in love with Penelope. During the day when the centaurs chose their mates for life, a love recentangle forms. Well, not really... Misty is a flirty character that wants Orion for herself, but feels inferior compared to Penelope's beauty. Penelope was with Adam, but she broke up with him a little while ago... that whole story. Except that he discovers and makes it known that Orion was reborn as a centaur.
After the goddesses give them their blessing as a mated pair, Orion finds himself on a neverending journey to find his place in the world. It's something that more or less robs him of his life. Zeus still believes Orion is meant for so much more, but reincarnates him to his final life without any assistance.

In the present, Orion and Penelope are together, been friends for their whole lives. The only stipulation: he's bound to a wheelchair after his nerves were damaged in a car accident and he's always felt subconscious of that. That yearning in his past life is still with him, however.
On a vacation, Orion takes a snorkeling trip (I know, doesn't quite make sense, why would they let him go if he doesn't have use of his legs? accomodations or not) where he nearly drowns. Instead, he wakes up to find himself transformed into a merman. Misty's reincarnation made the transformation to save his life.
A great deal of time is spent yearning to return to Penelope (btw, her name was one of the few I picked out specificially for this purpose... because of the story of The Odyssesy... Orion was just a mythological name, I didn't know the story of Orion until long after the fact... not even close and it is a tragic one), but he slowly discovers his destiny lies with the merpeople. Along the way, he aids the white diamond sea dragon Oceana defeat her counterpart, Dragoonas, a black diamond dragon under the control of Adam... who happens to be the twin brother of Gemini, the queen of the mermaid realm

I wrote this story maybe 5 months after Jonas's completion... I wanted to dabble in the same areas of dragons, reincarnations and I just had a thing for mermaids at the time... felt like a good idea, but I dunno if my writing style held up after all these years

sequel to Jonas's story-- Ceceila & the black rose
something about a dream I had, featuring a girl that ultimately became Ceceila (yep, in addition to the fact Jonas didn't know until recently what happened to his parents, but that he had a twin sister that has explicably disappeared)

The story took me a good 2 years to write, apparently... it started where it did... me picking up where the other story left off, making Jonas a bit stronger when it comes to his social anxiety. He has a dream about his sister, which he knows to be true... no idea where she is, but she needs his help. For his senior project, he volunteers at a homeless shelter and helps integrate a group of teens into his high school... here he meets Ceceila, oddly enough going on for months without any idea of who she was, but coming to care for her like a sister. She also happens to fall into a relationship with Eric, who gets a second chance in this story... I felt bad for giving him a raw deal in the story I'm working on now.
The story stalled for a good couple months... maybe 2-3... after that "date" gone horribly wrong... I had no desire to write anything romantic after that kiss that just didn't feel right... blaeck...
when "Phantom of the Opera" became a huge thing for me, I used it as part of the storyline... cuz the Phantom (at least the way Joel Schumaker did it) and Jonas had their similarities...

I don't care what anyone says, I loved the 2004 version of the movie... it made The Phantom seem more human, if not an equally appealing "love interest"... though I gotta admit... a 40/50 year old man being in love with a 16-year old girl... that's kinda creepy (the book says that she's 16, no joke)

The ending kinda went array... Ceceila thought Jonas chose Nina over her and she completely goes dark side on him... Eric is the raw end of the deal again, he starts to turn to the dark side as well... it kinda came out like the last Lord of the Rings movie... neverending battle of good and evil... it got very spiritual/theological at the end where, in his mind, Jonas was trapped undergound by Hades, who'd been trying to bring him down using Nightariel... then after escaping, Jonas meets Zeus and learns of Orion's existence (in my first draft, the two of them met, but I'm not sure if any mention of Orion is still in the story)...

and [spoiler alert], Eric is actually Jonas's friend, Johnny... the guy that supposedly freaked out so much after seeing Jonas's powers first hand that he had to switch schools to get away from him... a lot of that was hype... he moved because his father got transferred elsewhere so he had to go to another school district

I think I was in a lull for a while during that period... I was just starting to write the sequel...
for a while, I think I was going back and forth between Jonas and Orion... until my senior year... well, the year before that, I wrote a story about being in a relationship with this actor I fell in love with at our school... it's also a little improbable. Becoming close friends with his inner circle for one thing... and in real life, he's gay, so there'd be nothing happening between us anyway... It's one of two stories I'm kinda afraid for people to see because they might draw up similarities between this and reality

The other story was inspired by Lindsay Lohan's "Speak" album... the songs were really powerful in some places that different scenes would come to mind... it was like an album fic, but after a while, the songs had little connection to what happened in the story

Rebel Diana
genre: sci-fi/romance
magical content: ...

not even close... the only outlandish thing about the plot can be explained simply as an expression of multiple personality disorder... "One life to live" was huge about that (I only saw it in the previews, never watched the show)...
my character, Diana, has a crush on this really popular guy in the performing arts program... she's jealous that he has friends with more access to him than she does, plus the fact he has a girlfriend... this other personality she has wants to help her achieve her goal and temporary assumes control of her thoughts and actions...
a lot of it really is fantasy because I can't see this happening in real life... a guy slowly falling for a girl who is suddenly much more outgoing than she used to be, and ends up being spell-bound by her that he leaves little time for the rest of his friends and dumps his current girlfriend...
then the other personality, who I called Rebel Diana, starts to regret her decisions to assume control and whatever else was a consequence of that... and it just went horribly array after a while. I doubt anyone who reads it will believe any of it... it just seems very one-sided and contrived...
I found out maybe a couple months after completing the story: my inspiration for the love interest came out that fall...

geesh, I sure know how to pick 'em, huh... I crush on the guys I literally have no chance with... well, not all of them... but whatever... I'm very supportive of the homosexual/bisexual crowd


Ghost of Leogenre: sci-fi/romance
I tried to sum up the magical content of this short story, but I guess I just didn't want to sound crazy...

The story starts at midnight... a young man with a ghostly light appears in the bedroom of Tricia, our heroine, he says that he misses her or is sorry for something, wanting to reunite with her... heck, I don't even remember.
It was a story that gathered dust for a while, since college was starting and I just didn't have the ample inspiration to keep going with it...
Leo comes back into Tricia's life, which is a shattered life... after a car accident that killed her parents, she has no recollection of life before the age she's at now, 16/17... part due to the accident, but part was repression... because her boyfriend died in the accident... somehow Leo manages to take on physical form to reunite with her, she remembers her past... and there's a little bit of dark magic, talk of Indian burial grounds... Leo having to save the day again, but this time, he won't be coming back...
Overall, I decided I was going to commit a cop-out... resolve the story really quickly with some outrageous circumstances... and the ending/epilogue is almost exactly like "Just like Heaven"... the setting on the roof anyway... great movie, by the way

You know something... I'm getting kinda tired... it's getting kinda late... I'll post this and finish up sometime tomorrow. I'm sure all of this is more than enough to think about, in case anyone is brave and patient enough to stay with me to this point.

re-reading Chapter 4 [scroll down for commentary]

I attempted to write an entry about this several months ago... I ended up getting side-tracked by one thing or another (I have my suspicions about who..) and whatever, the thing just kinda fell apart.

What I did do was map out a little bit of a timeline as to what would happen in the next couple chapters via the calendar. I got as far as the weekend of September 21/22... I'm not sure how I picked my dates in particular... I just have it written that Nina's first day at school is September 13th, a Thursday. That was the day I met "David," one of many inspirations for Jonas... the key ingredient being his pale blue eyes that I simply lost myself in for hours every week (we had one 'class' together: lunch).

It was a little strange, but I guess a little cathartic that once everything happened that year, I'd have drama class with him the following year... when I decided to take drama for two semesters instead of just the one. I don't know what the hell happened because after the first couple exercises, it just turned into a study hall.
And there was this small little, I wouldn't call it an incident, but it was out of the ordinary. One of the seniors gave me a note, commenting on the fact I kept to myself and that she was taking a psychology course, in which she learned that people who come from abusive households develop into loners... I had to write back in saying that she was off the mark.
No joking, and I don't mean to make light of any situation with similarity to that. At the time, I felt a little insulted. First of all, I wasn't even entirely alone. "David" was sitting right next to me most days and we'd talk on occasion. And second of all, I don't know... I suppose its an easy mistake to make, but c'mon... I chose to live my life the way I did. There's no need to analyze that to death. And my decision to live that way didn't come from the household I grew up in. I could say this and that about how things were, how there was a lot of pressure on my part (still is, but in my teens, the weight was a lot heavier).
Ultimately, I've pinpointed the method to my madness down to a single incident in kindergarten, the first time I was told by one of my peers that I couldn't participate. After that, I never intentionally wanted to encrouch on anyone's territory because I never knew if I was wanted there.

I commented how strange it was that I focus a lot of my stories in high school, but I really didn't like high school very much. Aside from the fun I had with the musicals, dramas and whatever else in the performing arts (when I was just another face in the crowd or auditionee), I was stressing out over grades. And I'd be lying if there wasn't once or twice where I thought that it would be best if I just put myself out of my own misery. Ironic how much the notion of teenage suicide and what brings people to those choices fascinates me, I have considered it myself, but never put so much as a plan together. Because once you punch your own ticket, that's it, there's no second chances.

My high school had at least 6 incidents of suicide in the three years I went there... only one time when it was someone that I knew. She was in the peforming arts programs, was in my concert choir class one year and that year, she was part of my biology class. Her aspirations were for West Point. On a trip with a group of her classmates (with similiar aspirations), she was berated by one of the officers and ran off. The next day, around gym class, a lot of people were broken up about something and I suspected that her body was found.

Yeah... when it comes to suicide, I'm under the equal impressions that the people in question have simultaneously been contemplating it or rather, there wasn't just one isolated incident, but several until one proved to be too much.... and that it is a last-minute decision that happens rather quickly.
It's a tough gig.

So yeah,  high school was tough for me. Most grades were tough to a certain degree. I'd estimate that grades 5 through 7 were among the easiest to endure because I had at least one best friend. 8th grade was a little bit tougher, especially when it came to one of my friends and my lack of vision/reality on a certain subject. 9th grade was uber-tough, the first time where I was driven to that kind of depression... the burden was made greater and simultaneously easier to bare because of one band that rocked my world that year 8-)

10th and 12th grade were easier than 11th. 11th and 9th were equally hard to endure because of grades... I fell into bad streaks of getting C's or lower on my tests in my honors classes.
I attempted after news of the first suicide leaked in 10th grade to write about a boy who endured so much pain, between his broken home and his grades, that he attempts suicide, only to find later on in recovery that he didn't have to go through it alone. He has a circle of friendship but too ashamed of his situation to confess anything to them. Certainly, if it was me, my motive would be my grades... hmm... a little too "Breakfast Club"-y?

Anyway, yeah, the way I lived life was because I didn't know how to interact with my peers. Clearly there was a clique system in my high school... pretty much defined by the fact that there are the athletes and the non-athletes... I learned this fact for sure in maybe 9th grade, when the athletic types laughed me off and clearly didn't take me seriously... thinking they were in a class by themselves (one of them, I had a crush on in 6th grade and it took me until our next social studies class together 2-3 years later to realize he wasn't worth it)... then there was the performers and the pretenders... I always figured there was a bias in the auditions towards the extroverted, theatrical types with the big voices and no nerves to speak of. I admired the hell out of the senior class when I was a junior (made one of them a fan site too... that hasn't been updated since he graduated... last I heard, he was part of a theater company in White Plains, NY so he's not entirely in obscurity).

I really need to stop doing that... probably lost all my readers by this point.

I guess one part of the discussion that I had with myself that has some relevence to this... Nina asks Jonas sometime in the previous chapter about his family and when she hears about his "uncle," she first asks if he's nice... as if she's kinda guessing that he's come from that type of household too.
But seriously, the one incident he speaks of when he loses control of his abilities and it generates a force-field around him, moving everyone out of his personal space... that sounds like more than enough to be freaked out about. He doesn't need to come from a broken home in addition to that... although he is very embarassed, it seems, of his situation where he doesn't even know his last name or what became of his parents.

Heck, I could even go the extra mile and have Mai pose a question about his homelife. But I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that.
I certainly didn't come into writing the story with child abuse in mind for a piece of the plot or background of anything. In fact, I don't know if I'm even comfortable with addressing that with this story.
I already kinda did that with the suicide storyline... at the beginning of the 4 years of reckoning, the character's older brother leaves for college and he's the closest friend he has (in addition to his small circle). Then word gets out that his mom was having an affair with another man, so there's a divorce. It's one thing for him to be bullied around by his older stepbrother, but another that the other man his mom was having the affair was... yeah, there was definitely a bit of child abuse there.
I wrote this with a soap opera like storyline in mind and with suicide as the end result of 4 years of suffering...

GEESH... I was a sadistically, sick puppy at that time...
When I showed that story to my mom and my grandma a few months later, I couldn't help but think they thought I had mental problems. It's kinda hard to write about suicide without people thinking that the mentality of it is based on reality.

That's a story I'd been meaning to work out for years, but nothing ever comes out completely right.

And I'd really gone out of my way to avoid reading this chapter.

COMMENTARY STARTS HERE

Here's what's happened in the story so far:

• Nina arrives at a new school
• She is accepted into a group of cheerleaders
• She bumps into someone in the cafeteria, rendering her helpless. He takes her to the nurse
• Nina tells the cheerleaders about Jonas
• Mai points Jonas out to Nina and the two of them officially meet for the first time
• Jonas shows up at Nina's, and confesses about his 'powers' and why he stays away from people
• Jonas invites Nina to see her the next day

Chapter 4:

returning characters: Nina, one or both of her parents,  Jonas

introducing: Peter Bronson (Jonas's guardian),iguanas (Sparky & Scorch), horses (Thunder, Windy and Rain)

This commentary is going to be about my latest draft, which runs for about 13 pages (double-spaced) and a little less than 4,000 words.
What I tend to do with each chapter is that I note the events of importance, guidelines from the outline I didn't construct until AFTER finishing the actual story. (It often isn't in my style to outline... my suicidal storyline was the only time I did and the way it turned out makes me cringe in part because of it). Then I paste another copy of my most recent draft and just make my rewrites and edits where they're needed.

Example of my events of importance:

• Nina meets Peter and the iguanas
• Nina invites the two to her parents’ house for dinner
• Jonas introduces Nina to his horses
• They go riding in the enclosure
• Nina tells Jonas about riding camp
• Jonas tells Nina about the “bedtime story” (which is ironically about his past life)

And it seems I'm stuck in writing in Arial font, but that's okay. It's my go-to for all intensive purposes. I'll see how much I can get through before the first game starts (Houston & Baltimore, really no preference on who wins cuz the Patriots can beat either of them).

first, gotta single space it so it's easier to read/get through (makes it 7 pages to get through rather than 13)

huh... that's strange... I coulda sworn a conversation took place between Nina and her parents before she left. The previous chapter ends with her mom insisting that she invite them over for dinner... sort of a "get to know the neighbors" type of thing... but nope, all I have is that she puts on some not-so-nice clothes for when she goes riding.

Having that she's checking her watch to see what time it is might be pushing it. I'm extremely punctual to the point it was my obsession when I was in school, had to get to class on time (yeah, my first semester of college had a few incidents as a result of that... I missed one or two classes completely by oversleeping and I got there maybe an hour later to one of them).

I think between her and Jonas, he is the one that's a bit more punctual, by the clock or whatever... if I knew a little more on the subject, I could have written that he was diagnosed with Asperberger's or a highly functioning version of autism... that would explain his behavior a little more too...
:sigh: but no, once again, I'll have to turn down the opportunity to address it from that manner. Supposing he didn't have psychic abilities he wanted to keep secret, him being diagnosed with anything like that definitely would help support his self-impose isolation.

(okay, this is me trying to keep going with my entry after I'd been away for a couple of hours. I'll leave all the Hollywood/NFL commentary for my other blog, but prognosis is definitely great).

The inspiration for this little trip through the woods that Nina takes to get to Jonas's house... actually, just the whole idea of where he lived... one of my aunts has massive woods in her backyard that goes on for quite a while. On the other side of it, I've seen a couple of houses. There's also a river that runs through it that's about four or five feet wide. I haven't been there in ages, feels like a long time, but whenever I get a chance, I'll be sure to remember to bring a camera. All the more to add to the picture I'm trying to instill into this story. Definitely a few more sentences of exposition and description couldn't hurt here.
There was another instance here, I used the word "assumed" and that's something else I need to cut out. I can't have my characters being that hyper-aware of their surroundings or just me narrating as if the narrator knows what they're thinking. That clairvoyence I mentioned a few entries ago.

I may have miswritten that both houses had a screen door. I can't remember if it was one in particular or both, but I might have done both. And I put that it was white... it's on the other side of these woods that are at least half an acre to an acre. Maybe something a little more earthy than just white for description.

Here, I introduce Peter Bronson as being a man about the age of 55 (which feels kinda weird now because my dad is going to be 57 this year... which would make him close to mid-40's around the time I wrote this... it was meant to be an average age, not too old, not too young)... the age isn't a huge detail, but its been locked in for years. Despite the fact all of these celebrities look damn good in their 50's, I'm not about to change that.
I don't quite remember how much of the original conversation about him went into the previous chapter, but again, I can't help but notice how odd it is that Nina say the things she does. Asking "is [Peter] nice?" and saying to Peter "I'm glad he's well brought up"... those are major observations for a 14 year old girl to make. That might just be me being a little more on that mid-aged side from a mental stand-point

I was hoping to get through this before midnight, but as I only have 15 minutes, I might not be able to do all at the rate I'm going. I'm just afradi that if I let this entry sit for too long I'm going to forget about it...
maybe I ought to break it down into two parts... just need to find a good halfway/cut-off point

Already, I'm rereading this and Peter seems very aloof, unassuming about the whole thing... says nothing but nice things about Jonas. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this conversation, if anything at all. I mean, he practically raised him for the past 13-14 years, so you'd think he'd be a little more concerned for him coming into this age and having this attitude about his peers. I'm not sure how many people would find this type of relationship believable.

Heck, Peter Bronson could be British for all I know, he offers Nina a cup of tea :-P
that might be a little stereotypical of the Brits, but hey, it might make things a little more interesting when it comes to the possibility of casting this part. I was thinking someone along the lines of Peter Gallagher and if I'm really shooting, George Clooney (but last I heard, he's not up for acting too much these days, more on the directing side of things).
Definitely not Michael Caine, he'd be a little too old (plus he played Alfred in the latest Batman franchise, not the direction I want to go with at all). Colin Firth is definitely too young for the role as is Hugh Grant. They're laidback fellows, but definitely not for this type of role. 

Nah, for the moment I'll just stick to Americans... I'm already making things too complicated.
Peter isn't much of a father figure to Jonas and is more or less someone that looks after him according to the marriage vows... you know "for better & worse" and "in sickness and health" that sort of thing... he's very laid-back about things because Jonas has kept up with his grades despite everything he's gone through.
If I were a little more awake, I'd compliment ideas of origin stories... detailing the relationship he has with Jonas.

One thing that is going to stay in place, no matter what goes on, is the fact when Nina arrives that Saturday morning, Peter is the one who answers the door and ushers her inside. Then he comes down the stairs to answer a question Nina poses about her mom's 'neighbors' dinner' idea. I can almost picture him rushing down the stairs to get the door, but stops halfway down the steps when he hears that Peter had beaten him to it... during which he keeps himself hidden until he believes his presence is required.

It's one thing for Peter to be super laid-back and an easy-going type of 'father figure.' But taking into account what happened the previous day, Jonas willingly putting himself out there, telling Nina all about himself in a single afternoon... isn't it a little strange that he has reverted a little bit to his old self when he comes into the conversation later on?
Then there's the whole conversation where Jonas kinda gives away how uptight he is about the fact he doesn't know what happened to his parents. It starts with Peter saying that Jonas doesn't like taking his last name for his own and in Jonas's words "I’m not really your son so I wouldn’t take your last name. As far as I know, I don’t have a last name" strange, I copied/pasted Arial and it came out in serif font...

I'm not sure if there's a way I can completely legitimize this 180, this totally different demeanor coming from my character... it's just... strange. In fact, he even sounds angry when I'm rereading this sentence... considering who I'm dealing with here, that sounds like cause for alarm.
And really, why now is it going down this way? The way I pictured it, with the exception of this scene, the relationship between these two people is great...

and now it seems I'm starting to really overcomplicate things. But it's true... it's a really big reversal here to have Jonas visually upset about clarifying this and bringing this out into the open. Bringing up his parents being more of a hot button than his other abilities leaking to the school's gossip line.

Hmm... there seems to be all kinds of possibilities for this to work out different ways... in one draft, I can definitely see Jonas being close to losing it and Nina's presence reassures him that everything's going to be okay. And if anything, I want to keep the motif of there being subtltes of emotion when it comes to Jonas... he can't be too much far in one direction except in some very drastic situations... this isn't one of them.

Embarassment and shame are the two key emotions I want to play with here rather than anger.

This conversation comes and goes. Jonas introduces Nina to his two iguanas, a short conversation I don't really want to do too much to. Nina and Peter exchange a few words that I'd like to keep in there

After Jonas disappeared up the stairs, Peter commended Nina. “That was very sweet of you to say. It means a great deal to him to have someone support him the way you just did.”

 “I just didn’t want to see him sad… that’s all.”

One key thing about Peter is that he operates from behind the scenes a lot. He and Jonas really don't discuss things after one of those incidents occurs in the rainy season. He knows that Peter knows all about what happens, and they both accept that there's nothing that can be done to change the situation. He's also not the type of person who pushes Jonas into situations he doesn't want to go into... he merely acts as a source of advice, if he wants it, but doesn't allow himself to get too involved in his private life. Perhaps it was because he always knew Jonas was destined for greatness.

I just pretty much scrolled through the last couple pages and not going to add too much... I think the majority of what happens can stay, but I need to polish the narration and the dialogue a tiny bit.

One thing I keep going back to is when Jonas takes Nina out to the stables, she makes a comment about Peter and he changes the subject rather than talking about it. Practicing that whole manevuer of "avoidance."

I can't help but feel this is something I need to iron out a great deal... geesh, and I thought Jonas and Mai had a lot of kinks in their relationship that I needed to work on. Peter is a very supportive character throughout this story so it really doesn't make sense of Jonas to have that sort of disdain for him that he exhibits in this chapter.

Subtly is the key, for sure... figuring out how much is too much... a little bit of embarassment and shame is good to continue with the self-confidence problem. And if they have a good relationship in general, it makes no sense for Jonas to act this way or talk this way when he's in the same room with them. It's a little rude, I guess... yeah, there's definitely a lot I gotta fix with that.

As far as Jonas and his animal companions, all of that seems to be playing out exactly the way it needs to be.

So to conclude this, I have two things to figure out:

-what does Jonas really think of Mai and her rumors?

- how does Jonas feel about Peter and his living situation?/how does Peter feel about Jonas and the way he chooses to live his life...

With that last, it seems that he doesn't want to say it aloud, but deep down, he worries sometimes that Jonas might not to able to live a full, happy life if he continues on along this trek of loneliness.

the very reason why I list Hayao Miyazaki as one of my influences

My love for Japanese animation goes back to the days when Pokemon was my greatest interest, soon to become one of many great obsessions I'd had over the years.
I'd since checked into other 4kids anime (most of which are frowned upon by the masses of anime fans, but I could care less) like Yu-Gi-Oh, Sailor moon and CardCaptors. My college days allowed me the late hours to check into Adult Swim, from which I derived even more anime, plus there was my school's anime club where I made friends and... oh man, those were good times.

All of the things I mentioned definitely inspired a load of fanfiction, but a few bits here and there have become a baseline for where I wanted to go. A launchpad if you will. Some were characters and others were just ideas.

My prolific period, when I churned out maybe 6-8 stories, the majority of my work, I was between the ages of 16 and 22. Naturally, I work with a lot of young characters because it's all I know. Most of the time, it takes place in a high school setting. It's kinda ironic when you think about it, considering how much I really didn't like high school, with the exception of my time working in the company of high school musicals and concert choir.

Aww... I just saw another commercial for that movie "The Vow" with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. I like her a lot, but don't care too much for him. But... what appears to be another Nicholas Sparks film (the credits next to their names are the NS movies they starred in), has me really wanting to see it on the grounds that they used "Enchanted" in the commerical.

Taylor Swift has a way with words, definitely, and after seeing her concert DVD "Journey to Fearless," I know she is very creative in the visual sense as well. The set up for the performance of "Love Story" is not to be missed.
"Enchanted" is very much in the same school of things, if not more extraordinary. So yeah, naturally because of the association, the commercial worked its subliminal magic on me and knows how to sell a movie that will, no doubt about it, make me cry my eyes out like a complete wimp by the end of it.

I'm also incredibly interested in seeing that post-9/11 drama "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." It was snubbed by the Hollywood Foreign Press for a Golden Globe, but I still think it could be Oscar-nominated.

So today I was feeling extra daring and decided to send a fan letter to Taylor Swift full of compliments and congratulations for her unbelievable successes. I also gave her a little preview of my story because being the romantic she is, she might appreciate it. Sometimes it never hurts to put yourself out there even though nothing may never come of it.
But enough about that.

I tend to do that a lot with my regular blog, side-tracking. With my writer's blog, I hope to work on my focus just a little bit more or I'm apt to lose whatever readers I get pretty quickly.

Hopefully I can get my mind where it needs to be to start this entry.

I'd be entertaining the idea of an epic story for a while, one that has elements like fire, water and wind taking on physical form, using mythological creatures and that good old battle between good and evil. But there was something missing. The secret ingredient was what the hero of my story would be like. At the time, there was this guy at my lunch table. To say I had a crush on him would be an understatement, but the most extraordinary thing about him were these pale blue eyes of his. I would literally lose myself in them for hours and hours and lunch time was never the same again.

But there was still something missing. Around that time, I remember "Spirited Away" beating out 4 other animated films, all which I'd seen, for an Oscar. Few things pissed me off like something winning an award and I had never heard of it. If it was so great, why hasn't it gotten a lot of press and advertisment?
Naturally I had to see what all the fuss was about and rented it from Blockbuster.

I was regretting my ire within the first 10 minutes, haha... it happens that way sometimes, I guess. I never banked anything quite like this.
I had never seen anything quite like it before, however magical the world and however lovable the characters were. The movie stayed with me so much that I had to see it again, had to own it... the only thing I don't really remember is how soon afterwards I sat down in front of the computer and wrote my prologue. It could have been a couple hours afterwards, it could have been the following afternoon. I only wish my memory was that good.

I'd gone on and on about how greatly influential this movie was on me that it got one of my friends interested in seeing it. He offered an interesting second opinion on it and I couldn't help but look into some of his quips while watching it today.

Someone else who read my story in its earlier stage said that it was pretty easy to see where I'd gotten my inspiration from the movie.
The scary thing was, in my most recent look over the story, there were a lot of things in the movie that found their way into my story on the subconscous level. A lot of them were moments that had me going "oops" and "I had no idea that I did that."

This time around, I was a little on edge about getting interrupted or otherwise getting some sort of news that could derail my enjoyment of the flick. But one way or another, it always gets me just the same as it did that first time around.

The easiest thing to derive from my story that's similair to the movie is the beginning. I'm almost ashamed to say that the opening scene of the movie where Chihiro and her parents are driving to their new home is almost shot for shot where my story begins... after the prologue of course.

That's the most obvious detail aside from bits and pieces of characters. Then there were the little things, most of which were just plain coincidences. In the most recent draft, I orchestrated Nina's mom being a little worrisome and her dad being a little more laid-back... Chihiro's parents were oddly enough the same way.

Lin takes Chihiro under the wing when she starts working in the bath house much the way that Mai did with Nina. Both happen to share the same attitude of the young man in question. I don't know if I did it intentionally or not, but somehow, it just worked out the way it did.

Of all the really cool things I took in about the movie, Haku was probably the biggest piece quote "took home with me." When she becomes trapped in the spirit world, Haku helps Chihiro and is very kind to her. But there are a couple of moments where the audience is left to wonder if he's good or not. His actions are a little unusual and this time around, I was trying to explain it for myself. I never really thought about it when I was younger. It was just a gut feeling that I had and I never once questioned it.
:sigh: now I feel really bad that I was questioning myself this time around, never occurred to me before to doubt him

There was just something about him that stuck with me the whole movie. Then by the end of it, not only did I not want for it to end or to leave that world behind, I found myself wanting to know what was going to happen next. When Chihiro got settled into her home and got to her new school, would she see him there or someone like him?

I guess its that kind of thing that goes way back for me, this being the first example of me doing this. I see something or someone in a movie that I feel to be a kindred spirit and I want to write about what happens next. I did that recently after seeing "Remember Me," wanting to see what it'd be like afterwards, how the loved ones of someone who died in the war on terror carried on afterwards.
I wouldn't exactly say that "Less than Zero" was the same thing because I spent a couple months reworking things for a completely different ending... I couldn't live with how it turned out so I wrote my own story for how Julian kicked the habit.

Jonas does somewhat introduce Nina to a different world, but they come by it accidentally rather than on purpose. It turns out that he was the reincarnation of an angel and there's a destiny he needs to fulfill.

Yeah, as I'm writing, I can find myself losing focus. There were details about Haku that made it into Jonas's characterization, but the most important thing I took with me was the feeling of what it was like to be around. Just wanting to heed his every word because he was looking out for Chihiro's best interests. The comfort level was unlike anything I felt before.

Before my next post, I hope to put together and post that collage of photos for my tentative cast. The lightning picture is good for starters, but I want to take things to the next level here.

Casting Discussion: My [Tentative] "Cast list" for Jonas's Story

When it comes to what I write, whenever I write, as I write each scene, my mind processes it like a movie. I see my characters as if they are real people interacting with one another. I hear different voices in my head and their attitude comes through in their words.

There was an assignment I had in English class once. It was a group assignment that kind of ballooned into something I didn't really anticipate. Our assigment, mostly for fun or extra credit because I don't remember how it turned out, was to decide on which actors to cast in which roles if "The Catcher in the Rye" was ever made into a movie.
Everyone kinda knew from one way or another that Pokémon was something I knew a lot about, that I was a big fan of the show or whatever. A couple of the groups were casting for this hypothetical movie going through either sports teams or casts for TV shows like 90210 or whatever else kids were watching. I wanted to do it by picking out different actors, but everyone seemed set on the Pokémon idea.
Hmm... now I wish I could remember if the assignment turned okay or not. I don't even remember if it was for credit or extra credit.

It's kinda funny, actually. We had that assignment around the time I was either writing or just finishing writing this story and I remember details about putting together some integral moments a lot more easily than what became of English class.

I've always entertained this idea for my own story, trying to figure out which actors I'd like to cast in which roles. Chances are really good that by the time I get published (if I get published) and supposing a movie deal follows (I'm always open to the possibility of it because that would be the ultimate thrill), a lot of these actors might not be hot anymore and they'll luckily to be too old to play the parts.
I have it set in high school. Alan Ruck, who played Cameron Frye in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" was 30 when he was cast in the movie. Therefore, 31 will be my cut-off point unless, by other circumstances, they can't pass for high school age.


Only in this most recent rehash have I managed to actually figure out who I'd like to cast for Mai's three cronies/gal pals/fellow cheerleaders. When I started to specify differences in looks and appearances aside from the fact they're all gorgeous, athletic and "manicured from head to toe."

The easiest of them to "cast" was Rachel because as I was writing her description, one person immediately jumped to mind, seeing as "Suckerpunch" became one of my favorite movies last year.

No sooner did I type "auburn pixie cut" did I think about the character, Rocket, played by Jena Malone.

By the by, Marcie, Bonnie and Rachel were three perfectly random girls' names. None of them were picked out for any specific reason.

Bonnie, I could only think of a platinum blonde, but any other shade of blonde would be fine. She was the least strong personality and attitude, the most likely the shyest of the three girls. She also happens to be the most talented and athletic, but very unassuming of her abilities.
Ashlee Simpson seemed to fit the bill perfectly.

Marcie, of the three girls, is the most outspoken. She also happens to be the one most wonderstruck by Jonas's "mysterious" persona. I had in mind shoulder length or long dark hair, but blue eyes that have that particular awe and wonder look about them. Zooey Deschanel felt like a good choice because of the great hair and the eyes set her apart, but for all intensive purposes, she's just the archetype of what I have in mind (she's already 30). Ashley Greene, who I know as Alice Cullen from the Twilight films also fits the bill as far as her personality goes. The only thing missing are her eyes standing out, but I think I can work with that.

Naturally, the most important casting points are Jonas and Nina. My baseline requirements for Jonas are going to make for the most difficult, intensive casting call of any of the characters. He absolutely must have those pale blue eyes or else the whole persona falls apart.
Here's the predicament I'm in, though: I've found an example of the perfect eyes that Jonas must have. The only thing is that Asa Butterfield, the star of the movie "Hugo", although he is 14 ( Jonas's age, I'm aiming for 14/15, high school freshman), he looks too young to play the part just yet. I'll keep an eye on him over the next couple years (the success of "Hugo" will likely gurantee that the offers start coming in). Another tricky thing is that I haven't actually seen the movie so I don't know if he has quite the right personality to pull it off.

Nina has very baseline requirements as far as what she looks like. I have down "rich blonde hair" that's roughly shoulder-length and hazel eyes. She's unassuming at first, but she has to have a warm, welcoming personality, especially when it comes to Jonas. I'd been considering my current idea of a casting choice for a month or two and at the moment, I think it's going to stand.
Taylor Swift would be perfect for the part, so long as she has bangs and her hair is straightened. The only thing is that her personality needs to be closer to her own than to the character she played in "Valentine's Day," the ditzy cheerleader type (she was actually on the dance team in that movie, not a cheerleader), and Nina is a little more of a tomboy, which Taylor really isn't.

At the moment, I'm highly considering sending Taylor a fanletter, telling her about what I am to do with my story. Even though it might be as long as a decade away from even being considered for becoming a movie, I'd like to put the idea out there. She's such a romantic in her lyrics and has such a strong opinion about the idea of love. I doubt few other people would get this idea as much as I do.
It certainly couldn't hurt.

Mai is the last person I wanted to put some thought to casting simply because this is as far as I'd gotten in my rehashing of my story, rewriting chapters and such. Corey and Eric are still in a little need of investigation, although I did have someone picked out to play Eric a couple years back. He played Marissa's friend Johnny on "The O.C." and was only around for a season before, I believe, he killed himself (Johnny, not the guy who played him).

She's a tough call because at the time, I was into the animé "Yu-Gi-Oh!" and Mai Valentine was a strong voice in my head. This is thanks in part to the fact the character Lin in "Spirited Away" had a very similiar attitude, similiar voice (courtesy of Susan Egan, who did the voice for Megera in Disney's "Hercules") and Mai's impression of Jonas was directly influenced by Lin's attitude towards Haku, the final puzzle piece missing for my character sketch of Jonas (which has been marinating in my head for a couple months).
Just as my love for the show "New Girl" had me thinking of Zooey Deschanel for Marcie, my love for the show "2 Broke Girls" has me thinking more and more that Kat Dennings has a lot of attributes that I see in Mai. In fact, she would be perfect to play the role of the gossip queen/head cheerleader except for two things:
Mai is blonde. And I'd actually be willing to go the extra mile by having Kat Dennings with blonde hair or a wig, except for another fact.

Kat Dennings plays Max in the series, a girl who is more than a little rough around the edges with somewhat of a sick sense of humor. I love her to death, but I think that she might be a little too hardcore to play this part. Mai comes off very strong in places, but not nearly as strong as Max.
The one thing that Kat Dennings has going for her is that she is the perfect body type for Mai, lots of curves and particularly her bigger than average cup size.
I realize that in the animé, Mai Valentine being large-chested was part of an inside joke, the Japanese being pretty huge in their animation about exaggerating things like that. But somehow, that attribute stuck with me over the years.

So supposing there's someone out there that has this perfect body type for my charater, she's going to need just the right attitude. She has to be a little snobbish, believing she knows everything about everyone, but as time goes on and in times that count, she can be a generous, caring individual. Let's just say that her snobbish attitude might just be part of an act she's playing.
The other person that came to mind was Autumn Reeser, who I also knew from "The O.C." She played Taylor, who had this rich girl, stuck-up attitude in the first season she was in. I believe the storyline started at the beginning of that season. Marissa and Ryan got into trouble with his brother, Trey. I believe Trey was seducing and trying to overpower Marissa, Ryan came to the rescue and in self-defense, Marissa shot Trey (who lived). But the school board (one member was Taylor's mom) wanted to expel Ryan and Marissa from the district because of the incident. Ryan was allowed to stay, but Marissa had to mainstream into public school. Taylor was very adament about Ryan and Marissa not returning to the high school, but after a couple episodes and after Marissa dies, Taylor and Ryan start to get into a relationship.

Long story short, Taylor starts out with one attitude, but as time goes by, she becomes very sweet, which seems perfect for this part.

One of these days, I ought to take a lot of profile spots of these actors and put them together into a collage so I can display them on this site.

There are maybe a handful of characters I need to cast.
Corey, Eric and the members of their garage band
Jonas's "uncle," Peter Bronson
(Voice-over only)- the iguana/dragon Sparky
(Voice-over only) the horses/pegasuses Windy, Thunder and Rain
Raye/Raven, the descendant/reincarnation of Nightariel, the foe Jonaseriah must defeat [again] towards the end of the story.

There are several actors who I loved watching and that I would love to cast for this movie, that may/may not ever happen because it depends on it actually getting published and, you know, becoming enough of a success.

A couple of my current favorite actors or just people I loved from different movies and shows, there just isn't anything that caters to them in particular. I'm pretty much limiting myself to mostly young actors because its in a high school setting.

Emma Stone, Rachel Bilson, Emily Browning, Nina Dobrev, and Emma Watson are just a handful of names of girls I'd love to cast in some role in this movie, but what I've seen of their work, there's nothing that really reflects what I'd seen them do. Emma Stone is fantastic in what she does, especially as Olive Pendergastt in "Easy A," but nothing in my characters is a pefect fit.
The same goes with Rachel Bilson and I'd have to add Mischa Barton to the list as well. They were great in their roles in "The O.C.," but I think Rachel is a little too strong a personality for anything I have in mind.
Actually, now that I think about it, Alexis Beidel would be another candidate to play Marcie. She'd be great. I just got to thinking of her because I was going to make a comment about Blake Lively not being someone I would cast for this. Of all the sisters of the "Traveling Pants," Blake Lively played the only character I couldn't relate to at all. In fact, I really didn't like her very much. She's hot right now because of the success of "Gossip Girl."
Conversely, I love the girl who played Joan of Arcadia, who I oddly... Amber Tamblyn. She's got a great spirit and in the "Sisterhood" movies she has a great attitude, but I can't see her playing any of my characters.

There's an even greater list of guys that I am crazy about, but they aren't quite right for any of the characters.
I'm starting to think that Ricky Ullman, or someone like him, might be a good candidate for Corey. He has that easy going attitude about him that I'd seen in a couple of his roles.
Jesse McCartney, who is my favorite singer, I'd love to cast him in one of the roles, but he might be more of a ringer for Eric than Corey... and I'd hate to see him get the short end of the stick. That idea is still up in the air at the moment.
Logan Lerman, who played Percy Jackson in the film adaptation of "The Lightning Thief" might be another candidate to play Corey.

As for Eric, the two things I wrote about him was that he had red hair (something that might be a little difficult to work with) and dark blue eyes (the exact opposite of what Jonas has). In my rehashing of his character in the sequel, making him more central to the plot, I kept going back to Eric Dill, the [now former] lead singer of The Click Five... who started to become more and more of an influence of Corey and Eric's band. I'm not entirely sure that his easy-going personality would work with what I have in mind for Eric, as he is in the story I'd been working on. He becomes an antagonist, but only for a short period of time.

Adam Brody, Chris Carmack and Ben McKenzie are a little old to be playing anything in this and their presence in "The O.C." doesn't really equal anything I have in mind for my story. Yeah, I'm a huge "O.C." fan and still am 5 years after the show ended.
Chris Carmack played Luke, Marissa's boyfriend at the beginning of the series. He gave Ryan a pretty rude welcome at his first party while in Newport. He's the kind of guy who liked to fight all the time. It takes a while for Eric to be set off one way or another, but he's a bit of a flirt, a bit of a rich boy type. Supposing he was a red-head and 10 years younger, Chris Carmack might have worked out well.
And long story short, Seth Cohen (Adam Brody) is a one of a kind character that I couldn't rewrite for my own needs even if I tried.

I've named Ashley Greene from the Twi-cast, but nobody else really fits anywhere. I'd pick Nikki Reed, who played Rosalie, for Mai, but I think the blonde hair is something that wouldn't work out. I read somewhere that her hair started falling out when she was dying it, so she started wearing wigs instead of going through the hassle.
I'd have to see more of Jackson Rathbone's work before I consider him for anything at all, but he is a possibility, as far as getting a character profile. Kellen Lutz, he's a little too muscular for anything I have in mind and a little too easy-going for any of my guy roles.

In the long run, Kristen Stewart might be one of my early choices for Raye/Raven. Deep down, I think she might be capable for a helluva mean streak and this character is already pretty emo as it is, she might be just perfect enough for the part.

Peter Bronson is the only adult character I'm going to spend a large amount of time considering who'd be good to play him. He's a very understanding and accomodating individual who supports Jonas no matter what's at stake. Plus, he's very unassuming about a lot of things, which has me wondering if he knows more than he's letting on.
Keeping those adjectives in mind, Peter Gallagher might be an early choice, since he becomes that type of person to Ryan when he first arrives in Newport. Yep, "O.C." again.

There is a plethora of really talented actors out there right now, people that I'd love to consider for any role in this movie. The only thing is that nothing I'd written matches their description so well that I'd want to go through hell and high-water to make it happen.

There are at least four voiceovers that must be there to make this work. Two of them get a lot of "airtime"and the other two only have a couple of lines between them.

In his previous life before his demise, Jonaseriah used his power to allow two of the five mythical creatures the ability of human speech: the pegasus of Thunder and the dragon representing Lightning.
Later on, after Jonas gets more of a hang of his powers, Rain and Windy are able to speak as well. (Scorch, the fire dragon, doesn't get this luxury because he chose to reside in darkness with Nightariel).
Shoot, now that I think about it, Thunder and Rain's foal Cirrus has a couple lines as well.

I don't really have anyone specific for any of the creatures of yet, nor do I have any particular personalties hashed out.

Thunder and Sparky will prove to be the most difficult. All I can say is that any actor between the age of 30 and 55 would be open for consideration. Both have somewhat of an authority in their voice, but I'm not sure at the moment if either one of them has a super strong personality.
I'm thinking that Viggo Mortenson (Aargon from the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy) might be good for Thunder.

Cirrus, I don't have as much more than having a young boy's voice in the 2-3 lines of dialogue he has, which is probably open to anyone. I doubt I'm going to come up with the perfect voice on my own.

Rain and Windy are a little more defined. Rain is the oldest of the three. Maternal describes her, both because Cirrus is her new foal and she feels that way towards Jonas because she'd known him the longest and had seen him grow up in his self-imposed isolation. For some reason, maybe its because she'll be on tomorrow's "Ellen" and all the hoopla about her new movie "The Iron Lady," Meryl Streep is coming to mind for me.
Windy is a little bit of a flirt, as if in a past life, she was a goddess that was infatuated with Jonas (which of course doesn't really have a place in the universe I'd created). She's the youngest of the three horses. Now that I'd brought up Meryl Streep for Rain, Amy Adams might be an ideal choice. Originally, I was thinking along the lines of the girl who played Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter films.

Naturally a few actors that are hot right now include George Clooney, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt, but none of their voices offers anything distinct. And heck, George Clooney might be a little too high-profile for the role of Peter Bronson. I sure as heck could try, but I doubt he'd be exactly right for the part.

And regarding my current favorite actor right now, I am simply at a loss. Unless I give him something edgy like doing the voiceover for Sparky, I'm kinda out of luck.

Of course there's a part of me that has these casting choices in mind because I'm in this phase of just loving everything celebrity and Hollywood related (barring any reality stars that are just there because they look good and rich, but really don't have any talent. i.e. Karashians, Jersey Shore, etc.).
And secretly, well not so secretly now, I have in mind that supposing I get published and such a success blossoms that a movie deal comes about, I'd have to be on set to approve of a lot of things, my work being handled the right way. Ultimately that would mean having the chance to mingle with these celebrities or at least opening doors and pathways via the 4 degrees of separation to access the A-listers.

At the current moment, it is my not-so-secret ambition to get the opportunity to simply sit down with Robert Downey Jr. and just discuss movies with him.

But who I'm kidding?

I went through it in my head a number of times when I first started considering putting the faces of celebrities to my characters. Even if he was 25 years younger and much more stable as a young person, Robert simply wouldn't fit as any of my characters. Corey would be a LONG shot, but supposing I was going for the big names, I'd consider him for that role. Nah, Andrew McCarthy would be a much better fit for Corey.

I'd considered him playing the role of Peter Bronson, but I can't imagine him of all people being that easy going about all of the crazyness that is in Jonas's life.

Sometimes you gotta dream big, but I tend to be more realistic these days than I am optimistic.

But, barring all impossibilities, I'd like to have people in mind or at least appearances in mind, just in case.

Hmm... I hope this doesn't come off as me having motives. Mr. Downey said that motives are a big turn-off for him.

Damage Control- Chapter 3

It's been a while since I wrote anything for this blog regarding the story I'd been trying to publish forever. Every chance I get, I try to seek out an agent willing to represent me, but at the end of each run, I found myself in editing for a long time. This time has lasted a lot longer than I would have liked. I'd hardly gotten anything done and unless I manage to finish going through each chapter, rehashing them and whatnot within the next couple months, I feel like I'll never get a chance.
Well, they say that it's never too late for dreams to be realized, but in all seriousness, this is all I've really wanted to do. Writing fiction. The things I've written about have changed over the years. Recently, I'd been working out of romantasy land and going more for your typical young adult coming-of-age stories where friendship seems to be a reoccurring theme. There's no magic, no mythical creatures or good and evil. It's just a couple of people, one of them has a problem they have to solve and the other helps them through it. But these are some very real issues I'm addressing, aside from my run-of-the-mill story about a protagonist gaining confidence in themselves to achieve their main objective. The first story was about two girls, one was a leukemia patient and the other is the peripheral narrator (in the same school of thought as Nick Carraway of "The Great Gatsby") that helps her through it. The second story about the same narrator, but she's given an assignment to work her "bed-side manner" skills with a recovering drug addict who thinks everyone else has given up on him.

I'd been working so much on my other blog, which is pretty much repeating the same old nonsense every day. [fill in the blank] is awesome at what s/he does best, etc, etc. I have little that defines me aside from my celebrity and musical interests. Then there are times like with Jonas where I'm just crazy enough to believe I'll achieve something like so many other young adult sci-fi/fantasy writers have.

I've found myself in a pretty difficult place as of late. I'm in more of a hurry in trying to figure out how Jonas interacts with different characters, particularly hashing out his relationship with Mai, the gossip queen who has yet to figure anything about him. When he's with Nina, he makes light of the situation, but I will reveal in a couple chapters' time that Jonas really took issue with the rumors that weren't even close to hitting the mark.
One thing is for certain: Jonas is a different person with Nina than anyone else. Sometimes, especially lately, I consider that maybe he puts on an act for everyone else. Perhaps he might even be acting for Nina too, in essence that he pretends some things don't bother him when in fact they'd be working him over for years.

Geesh, I'm going to freak out every time the phone rings the next couple days. I'm somewhat expecting a call back about a part-time lab position at the local community college, something that I seem to be dreading now more than welcoming. When I got there for the interview, it seems that there was more to it than I ever bargained for. I really hate telephones sometimes.

Maybe I ought to make another conversation regarding some of these what-ifs. In the next chapter, Nina meets Jonas's guardian and learns a little more about the relationship they have. It's stable, but there are some rocky moments, particularly when Jonas showcases how sensitive he is about the fact he doesn't know what happened to his parents. Then as they head out to the stables, he just skates past the issue and puts his focus and attention on his three horses, the closest things he has to friends.
Nina isn't the type of person to press issues like that, but as I think about the way the next chapter runs, I have myself asking a lot of questions that amount to "why don't you want to talk about it"... then again, she does tell him that it doesn't matter what his background is and he has her complete support.
One thing I do kinda notice is that Nina is a little concerned about Jonas's home situation, which is a little odd for a high school freshman... that somewhat entails that she'd known a couple of people in her hometown that came from broken homes, maybe even one of her best friends (Wendy, Morgan or Brittany) was someone she had to help through some difficult times. It's like that questionnaire question I keep seeing these applications: when times are hard, your friends call you first

But this is about Chapter 3, this entry.
I went back to it for the first time since I quote/unquote "finished" it. The info says that it was last modified in November, so it's been close to two months. I've been questioning a lot of things about what I did in the chapter that I finally decided to go through it again.

Initially when I started the rewrites (for at least the 5th/6th time), I was afraid people would read my story and not "get" Jonas the way I did. I wrote a lot to somewhat solidify my view of him, shared by Nina (or otherwise, the story wouldn't go as well as it does). I proceeded to make one too many mistakes I simply couldn't overlook. Using the conveniences of Word, I red-"inked" a lot of superfluous language that really didn't need to be in there. One thing I tend to do A LOT is to make my protagonists a little too self-aware. Meaning that when I wrote the words connecting to the dialogue, giving them somewhat of a clairvoyance... meaning that the narration is saying what a character is thinking/feeling as if it could see into their minds. I can't really have that happening because, why else have a third-party narrator? It somewhat defeats the purpose and it allows the reader less imagination to really see the characters for what they are. I'd love for them to share my view of Jonas, but I'd prefer them to come to it on their own than me having to tell them through superfluous language.

The other error I found myself making a bunch of times was simply, I had to cut down my dialogue a little bit. The characters were sounding less like characters and more than an extension of my narration. You know the old saying "less is more." I found myself more at issue with Jonas saying a little too much, things that had less merit in this part of the story. The reason I found him so alluring and enchanting to begin with, as I did my inspirations for him, was that I knew very little about him and Nina knew very little. The magic is gone if he says a little too much or there's a little too much evidence supporting my position on him. That magic has to be there for my story to work or else I simply won't want to work on it anymore.

There are maybe two sections in this chapter I don't care too much for or am a little on edge about them being in there. Someone noted the lack of transition between the lunch room conversation and the one that takes place in Nina's yard. In between that, I wrote a little dialogue for Nina and her friends as well as the fact Nina had homework to do... which she got done with quicker than she expected. One might ask "why the hell was that in the story"... there needed to be a transition and I'm a little too set in my ways to want to start a completely new chapter just for the second conversation that takes place.
The other thing, which I'm a little on edge about, is the fact Jonas openly confesses (in the best way he can) that he can read minds. Mind you, this is long between Edward Cullen even existed, so I'm really hoping nobody comes after me and says I'm stealing... not that anyone would care that I'd be stealing anything from "Twilight." The majority of the readers' community believes that its more or less worthless or simply an act against conventions, etc, etc.

Yet my take on this issue is very similar to something Stephenie Meyer said regarding Edward and Jacob. Edward couldn't openly tell Bella that he was a vampire so Jacob was created initally as a vehicle to deliver that bit of information to Bella. That confession is against Edward's character so someone else had to take care of that for him.

I don't know, maybe it does work in my case. Edward spent his eternal life denying and fighting against what he had become and his family is apt to secrecy of their true existence. That makes sense in his case.
Jonas, on the other hand, had also spent a great deal of his life denying what he's truly like. He keeps himself away from people because he doesn't know if he'll lose control of these unusual powers he'd been gifted with. Why is Jonas psychic? It was a damn good excuse for him to want to keep to himself, much better than my reasons... honest to God shyness. Plus I'd always found the idea of a psychic to be an intriguing one, the ability to read minds and use telekinesis. It's still something that kinda fascinates me to this day.

Here's the deal: Jonas has kept to himself for years. Only his "uncle" (for all intensive purposes) and his animal companions know about his secret. All the teachers and personnel at the school really know is that he has prone to regular absences during the rainy season. I haven't quite worked out if they know that he gets struck by lightening, which can leave him in a coma for a couple days at a time. Despite all of that, he manages to maintain straight A's... go figure. No wonder Mai's so interested in knowing more about him with the stuff he's gotten away with.

The only thing that doesn't quite make sense there is that, well... at school, there are group activities all the time. I seem to be putting myself, as the writer, under the impression that Jonas surpassed all group activities for whatever reason. It's probable that, oddly enough, his "sick" days took place during these group sessions, but as I remember it, group activities were somewhat of a regular thing, at least once a week. Anyone else would have been pressured or forced into becoming part of a group. I know I was, lol
I still have a few things to figure out on that.

But... Jonas hides what he is from people, but does that mean he's accepted that he's potentially a liability to anyone who gets too close to him? I think he has accepted his self-imposed solitude/exile/isolation. Despite all of the safeguards he's surrounded himself with for these years, they're a non-issue when it comes to Nina. For whatever reason (which I discern later to the fact they are literally soulmates and part of him that was missing [somehow] when he was born again is within her), he founds solace in Nina's very presence, so he's much more comfortable with himself around him.
Inevitably, I find the saving grace in the situation, despite my belief that maybe it's against his character to do so, is that once Jonas and Nina are alone, only then does he start confessing all of these secrets to her. He only can reveal his true self, his true disposition when he knows that nobody else is watching. Ultimately, that keeps the mystery of him and rumors about him going... at least until a couple other things go down.

Going into this latest round of rewrites, I wanted to be sure to do a little more character development on everyone else but the main protagonists. But sometimes I found myself wondering what kind of person Nina was before she met Jonas. Her support for him suggests that she'd be the rock for a lot of people she'd befriended over the years, she's noted for being a good listener. Hmm... she seems to be a less high-strung, less dramatic version of my peripheral narrator, Casey Carlton, who definitely shows those colors in the last story I wrote about her and the recovering drug addict.

Jonas is very much hashed out at this point and I only need to work on his relationships with some of the other main characters.
Nina is always going to be on the table regarding adding more to her character, just to make her a little less generic, although my goal was to make her relatable to the girls reading the story. I more or less spent the first chapter working on her character.
Chapter 2 was about getting to know Mai and her friends. Bonnie, Marcie and Rachel have gotten defined a little bit more this time around. What I originally had in mind were three girls that were like Mai's loyal followers with no defining characteristics; much like in one of my animé where the heroine has three girlfriends that all look very similar (the school uniforms and the black hair shared by all of them helps boost the allusion).

Well, I lost maybe 200 words in this last rehash, but I do feel a lot better after taking care of some of the details. Maybe later today I can finally get around to working on Chapter 4.
But sometime today, pending a important phone call, I might be able to find time to rewatch my greatest source of inspiration for this story: Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"
Hopefully it doesn't follow the trend of a previous incident and after enjoying the movie, I get the phone call and it kills my whole mood.
That happened a number of years ago during my first spring semester of college. I'd been IMing this guy from my school I met through Facebook. He called off our time to meet, I watched the movie and he asked if I was up for it. It turned out to be one of the worst nights of my life. It's part of the reason it took me a while to write that semester... it was so difficult to believe in the relationships I was writing about when I couldn't even find comfort in being alone with one person. But then again, it was the first/only time we met in person, going to his apartment, so it'd be enough to rattle anyone who doesn't do that often.
And for the record, nothing happened. I'm just being a drama queen about a pretty regular, every day situation. I'm just not the type of person who likes to be in close promixity with another person I'd only just met in person a couple minutes previous.

Yep, years later and I'm still not over that.